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Not sure if I’m the only one that has experience this but recently I was on a voice call with a guy who seemed normal (or as normal as text will reveal). Once we got on a voice call it started off normal until he started to sound like he was short of breath and in the next moment breathing heavy. Keep in mind we haven’t even been on the phone for 5 minutes. When I asked what he was doing he replied nothing then hung up.
Needless to say I was annoyed and grossed out. What have been some of your “weird” experiences or momments while navigating this abf online world? What did you do to recover?
Candee very much the same. Guys who “just want to chat” and push for it are usually looking for phone sex, whether you consent or not. Their needs first.
The married men who hide the fact just to interact with you. When confronted with it, on a dating and relationship site, they countered with “well, if I said I was married I wouldn’t get any responses.” Well…
The dic pic guys, or guys who push for pictures….some will share a few minor texts before asking, but others just start out with the request.
I’ve become more savvy in my review and vetting….little to no effort in profile is a red flag. Push for pics or phone call too soon, red flag. I used to indulge time and effort but no longer; I cut it short if any of these come up.
To recover? I interact with those I know are friends, decent guys…and gals… who actually care about me as a person. That helps “wash” the gross away….of course we laugh about the latest obnoxious approach, and the simple acknowledgement that I’m not alone in this helps.
Candee, when I read the title of your post, it made me chuckle. But when I read about your horrible experience, of course I stopped laughing. All women here have had our fair share of disgusting interactions, but this sounds like one of the most off-putting and I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Flowrgarden, I think you’ve got the perfect balance between caution and patience that I hope to eventually achieve, if I don’t give up all hope of ever having a meaningful ANR again!
And those guys gives bad rap to all other guys…
Some sadly think that anything goes on net.
If you report him to Michael or Admin, they can remove and ban him. They have done wonderful job to keep those kind of perverts out.@rachyj I agree the title is appropiate in both humor and behavior. This was my first interaction since returning from my hiatus. Naturally I was like are you kidding me smh.
I still want to be open about the voice calling. If anything I just want people to be transparent about their intentions and not be a weirdo about it.
@nick I blocked him so hopefully that should be enough. I can’t imagine that once he got off he’ll be snooping around. I’m likely going to be penpal’in people to death moving forward.
That is absolutely awful and vile. You don’t deserve that. I wish guys like this didn’t exist. I promise there are not only normal good men here but excellent, intelligent, and emotionally mature and caring men. I hope your other experiences satisfy your heart.
I had a woman from ABFHeaven, whom I have never communicated with before, track me down, and text my personal number, as if we were best friends. Creepy.
Jake, let’s be honest: that was a collection agent from A&B Financial Recovery. Besides which, we all know you’re not absent minded enough to leave your personal info just lying around the internet for any given creeper to find, c’mon. Quit kiddin’ around.
@cand33 Candee, I’m so sorry that happened to you, and sorry so many women can relate.
Because of experiences like that, usually within the first five minutes of a call, I became very leery too.
For a period of time I tried doing a really quick video hello early on just a proof that I’m a woman and that I am who I say I am, but 99% of the time that resulted in either the guy having the camera aimed on his crotch, or him asking to see naked body parts.
So by the time Johnny came into my life, I was incredibly hesitant to call any phone number given to me on a dating site of any kind.
Even so, my heart somehow knew I could trust him and when I did call hearing his voice was like finding home!
My suggestion to men would be, offer your number early on without any pressure for her to use it. But of course only if your intuition feels it’s safe to do so.
Give her time to research you and get a feel for who you are, knowing she’s likely feeling very vulnerable and expecting the worst.
In the beginning, don’t expect her to be as open, give her time to learn that you can be trusted.
Open communication can be difficult when we’re worried each interaction whether message or voice may become a jerk off session.
@pureboy it happened. Assuming your profile picture is truly you, it could happen to you also.
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