Ok, a couple of interesting questions

[Rumina]

@hinh Didnt it occur to you that responses were not based on missing equality issue, but on whats the heart of an ideal ANR: bonding? Thats essential and cannot be ordered. It doesnt not matter if the one who orders is male or female. The orderer being female doesnt make things right. By ordering you make it transactional. To me exactly that cant be in what i would want in an ideal anr.

[Tom]

1. I think there are more people that have toyed with this idea than are responding to this thread. Though to me the question reveals deeper issues regarding arranged marriages like: do I feel my ability to choose a good mate sucks? (which makes arranged marriage look good) Or am I running away from something? Am I just impatient right now? And have I watched too much tv that romanticizes this? (Arranged marriages thrive in societies with social and religious stigma against divorce to make them work) And then the more fundamental question for arranged marriages: do the people choosing my potential spouse know me well enough (including my ANR preference) to choose someone good for me or are they going to choose what is good for them/society? (am I really ready to give up my choice). I know myself, and I would like to keep my own independence and make my own choice when this idea pops into my head. (and I want this for my spouse and well)

Regarding mail order brides I look at it like mail/app introduction service to a long distance relationship (including this site). (FYI-I will not participate in a relationship/site/service/app that takes away anyone’s freedom or is transactional) There are few people open to ANR where I live so almost all potential ANRs are going to be long distance for me.

2. No

[Nici]

THe reason I asked is because there are arranged marriages around the world that a) last more than 50 years and are still going; b) because I was curious about other people’s thoughts on arranged marriage, or arranging long term ANR.

I almost regret asking because I think I triggered a few people with this one. (Forgive me) It never occurred to me not to see this as a totally consensual, equal partner experience. Different mindsets, different triggers, different responses. It is also why I am glad I did ask. I love reading each response, seeing how people thought about it and truly responded. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your open share.

My thoughts on goat pump? Well, I have never tried it and I am most certainly not in favor or anything damaging to mammary glands. Again, pure curisity and based on a post I saw where someone was talking about goat pumps. I did not know if it hurt or helped, I have no idea what to think, even! Still again, great thoughts and shares!

[Rumina]

Hi, thank you for your reactions. Reminds me to not react from first association byt to ask a question.
It was an interesting post.

[Brian]

As someone who has family in the dairy industry I would strongly not recommend the use of any pump meant for animals, the suction is way too strong and you would severely injure yourself. As far as the arranged marriage I would need to know more. How would it work? not to be crude, but would there be a catalogue of potential partners? As far as I understand, arranged marriages are set up by the parents. For conversation sake would love to hash this out further.

[Author]

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