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(Sorry I wrote a long comment.)
I agree with what Ms QT, Mr LM, Ms JB. Mr JD, Ms Welshie and Ms Elizabeth stated. Nailed the point.
This site should cater to women primarily, obviously not solely. Besides, have you seen the ratio of men to women??? Woh. We men should be thankful that there are women that exist who have this mutual affinity of ours.
The fact is that upon signing up on this site: WE’RE ALL STRANGERS. Although women do come abroad looking for a partner, the majority WILL take a cautious approach, as should be. Putting themselves out there to find a suitable partner takes… courage, knowing what type of characters are looming out there. This site can potentially be a blessing but it EASILY can be a curse.
And many women that sign up, do delete their profiles not long after, after being bombarded by pushy, overeager, often times pervy dudes. (I can be a major horndog too, but letting it lead what I say on this site isn’t going to get me far with ANYONE. There’s a time and place for everything.) For some guys, seeing a woman on the site means: it’s open season on them, and approach them with an entitled attitude. BIG MISTAKE!!
I confess that I’ve had to learn from my own mistakes. In the past I’ve met some amazing, smart and gorgeous women on here, but struck out for being a dumbass. My ignorant approach didn’t work.
We men should… NEED to approach women (the straight women) on here with ZERO expectations. Even if she decides to post a pic of her most beautiful succulent breasts, we can’t interpret that as a green light to hound her. Some of us need to remove the idea out of our head that her sexy amazing picture doesn’t mean that those beautiful breasts of hers ALREADY have your name on them, nor that she’s waiting to be pounded by you. NO. But fortunately, by the mere fact that she’s signed up AND that she’s indicated that she’s looking for a partner, means she’s obviously making herself available.
(Honestly speaking, dudes… yes, there is a small fraction of women that will be judgmental and be as dumb as some guys. Hell, I had a woman diss me because she “had a feeling” we wouldn’t be compatible based… on a typo I made. Yeah, I swear. A misspelled a word, and because of that she didn’t want to pursue anything further, after chatting for just a few minutes. I hadn’t even told her my name yet. BUT… the reality is: SHE WAS ENTITELED TO HER OWN THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND DECISIONS, even if I thought she was being petty, dumb and unfair AND even thought at the same time… she had such as beautiful face and the most mouth-watering breasts and nipples I’ve seen. But I respected her decision and I moved on. Cest la vie, oui?
Thankfully, even if I personally haven’t found a permanent partner around or close to where I live so far, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and befriending some really warm, kind, stellar ladies. (Of course most women are looking for a partner, NOT a penpal.)But here’s some advice I suggest to minimize the possibility of getting ignored or blocked.
-Initially, we men should NEVER send an “ADD FRIEND” request. Instead, send a BREIF “PRIVATE MESSAGE”, and be normal about it. We need to express ourselves as we would if she were physically in front of us.
-Keep your message short, but more than a 3 word sentence.
-Give a greeting. (‘How are you’ is lame.)
-Keep terms of endearment to an absolute minimum or not at all.
-NEVER say anything about her breasts in your initial chats, especially if she posted a profile picture. (Yes, it’s a breast-centric site but your comments can transmit to her that ALL you care about is a pair of tits that so happens to have a woman attached to them. Bad idea.)
-Ask her about: how’s her search going, her challenges, how long she’s been into ANR/ABF, even how she got into it. Don’t interrogate on the details. (Don’t be pervy… unless SHE is. And if she is, don’t lead the perviness.)
-Compliment her (sincerely, if you can) on her profile or being on the site.
-Ask her a question or two on HER point of view on like a current event or topic, and compliment her reply (sincerely, if you can). Listen to her and remember what she says.
-Use common courtesies.
-If YOU feel comfortable and the communication is flowing, give her your first name and ASK her for hers. Don’t get soar if she still doesn’t feel comfortable to give you hers.
-Share something interesting and ask her point of view or thoughts on it. Listen to her and remember what she says. DON’T share specific details about yourself (aside from commonalities) if she hasn’t asked you for it. Try not talking about yourself too much. SHE’LL eventually ask things about you, and that’s a good thing. And when you reply don’t give her every last detail. And don’t mention any of your problems to her. You just started communicating!!! She’s not your therapist.
-Keep the emojis to a minimum.
-If you’re really interested in a woman, tell her that you’re interested in learning more about her.
-Don’t send her unwarranted pictures, only if she asks for them. If a rapport is established: ASK if she’d like to SHARE a picture or two of her with the purpose of putting A FACE TO THE NAME. And don’t be an ass by sending her a pic of your eggplant, right off the bat. You just met her!!!
-Address things that SHE brings up. Remember or take note of the “crumbs” or little details she drops about herself. And mention them. It’ll mean you’re listening to her, and you give a shit about what she’s saying. Ask her more about what she’s sharing with you. Your interest/curiosity in what she’s interested in means you’re interested in HER.
-After you message a couple occasions, THEN send a “ADD FRIEND” request or ask to communicate off site.
-If she DOES ultimately reply back, don’t be like: “WHAT HAPPENNED? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WHAT DID I DO? I’VE BEEN REALLY NICE TO YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING, WHY DIDN’T YOU REPLY SOONER?” Bad look.
-And if a woman indicates that it won’t work out for whatever reason she gives, despite what ever case you may state, leave it at that and respect her wishes. You’re NEVER going to get anywhere now or ever if you’re pushy.
-Amazingly, after her stance towards you or the situation has been stated, if you weren’t an ass towards her, you can actually maintain a civil rapport with her. If you see her logged on one day, say hello give her a well wish, like you would in person. You can actually be diplomatic with a person whom it didn’t work out with. There are several women I know that things weren’t in the cards but I still say hello, they say hello back, and we’re cool. I rather have that, then have them block me.Guys need to remember: The women we reach out to and even that contact us DON’T OWE US ANYTHING.
Again, don’t get sore if she doesn’t show or express immediate interest. Either she needs more time or she’s not “feeling” you, yet.
I’M GOING TO KEEP IT REAL: All we guys want is to ultimately find a partner, and latched onto their beautiful mouth-watering nipples, and for many of us to start a long term Relationship, that’ll include other “enjoyments”.
And BTW Mr Marcus, although you have the best intentions in mind, I think you should reserve your assessments or share it with people you know. Regardless if you’re right or wrong, most women dislike to be categorized as “emotional”, especially because of the unbalanced connotation it’s associated with.And one final thing I’ll recommend is: READ HER PROFILE!!! Many women are very descriptive on who and what they seek, and what they DON’T want+. Take what they’ve said seriously. Now if you feel you NEED to reach out to her, the only reason you could reach out to a woman, that’s already stated why YOU and/or your situation (like the distance) isn’t compatible, is to give her a WELL WISH: “Hey there, I just read your profile and saw your picture. I just wanted to say that I think you’re very attractive [pretty, beautiful, whatever]. I wish you the best in your search. Good luck.” But of course, if she clearly states that if you don’t fit her criteria NOT to even message her at all: RESPECT THAT.
Now if a woman contacts you, and it seems that it goes against what she says in her profile, that’s HER decision. A DOUBLE STANDARD you say: YUP!! That’s what it is. Buck up and deal with it.
Good luck folks.
PeaceI prefer women much much more than men for anr and I only date women. Due to the lack of women, I’ve allowed some men. I feel as if I am doing THEM a great favor. Not all seem to understand that. Then there are the ones out of state or not local who still try. I mean come on, I’m not looking for an out of state relationship with a man or woman, but men claim they’re moving to my area soon or will “relocate” for me. It’s offensive. This is often why I don’t reply. If they’re at least local I usually reply. Doesn’t mean I keep the conversation going though.
I wish there were more women wanting to suckle. Then we could avoid these issues, but I understand many are straight. I’m not straight and I’m only looking to be suckled which is a difficult scenario to find.
Man this guy @gent4amm hit the nail on the head that time! I mean right square in the middle of the nail, perfectly perpendicular to the piece of plywood! As I was reading this I was thinking ‘you forgot to mention to read her profile’ but nope you got that covered too in the final paragraph!!!
You have fully outlined my approach to online dating in general, not just on this site. I have no statistics to back it up but I’d say I’m batting in the .50 range. This is because, you can be the most polite, gentlemanly, courteous, well rounded, chivalrous and understanding man EVER, but very few women you contact will respond favourably. I won’t lie I used to wonder why someone wouldn’t respond to what I thought was a perfectly worded intro message, but just as in real life if a woman isn’t feeling your advances move onto the next one. Would it be courteous of her to respond to your message? Of course. Does she owe you a response? No.
While we are dealing with other people, we have to realise there is the buffer that is the internet through which we interact. It would be rude of someone not to say hello back to you IRL, but no one is entitled to a response on an online platform. I think the sooner people learn how to navigate communicating with others online, the better their experiences will be.
Yeah popcorn 🍿 indeed.
were the posts deleted? i was tagged in something but i cant see anything
I can’t say why others don’t reply but me personally I don’t because quite frankly I don’t want to. It’s that simple. I have on my profile not to pm me, to either comment on my blog if it’s related to that or to say hi in the online chat. Guys who think it’s ok to either ignore that request or to think that doesn’t include them are quite frankly idiots and not my type of people.
I find pming someone who you haven’t engaged with elsewhere first is the equivalent of opening my front door, sitting yourself on the couch and asking for a cup of tea and then wondering why I tell you to get the fudge out.. you’re not invited in so why be intrusive!!
Lee, it’s not the same as someone saying hi in the street.. it’s pm.. which is a PRIVATE MESSAGE.. the equivalent would be saying hi in the chat and being ignored, but even then it’s not something that people should expect.. it’s also off putting to even do that sometimes as you have some guys think because you said hi then they can jump into your pms 🙄
I also have guys that have sent me multiple unanswered messages.. seriously.. what’s ruder.. some guy invading my personal space multiple times with no encouragement or reciprocation or me ignoring him? It’s not the latter I can assure you
No one has to respond to anyone’s messages
It’s that simple, some may find it a bit rude, Tough.
We men are out numbering women on here by 3 ~ 4 to 1
So they have plenty of choice to pick from.
Also the women have the Breasts & Nipples we men desire so they have the controlling hand ,
Though I do wonder if it was the other way around & men were scare & Suckling wasn’t a major for us
& women were messaging us continually for some to suckle them & Being ignored / No Reply’s How many would be on Here Complaining about That, “Oh I’ve very large heavy breasts & great nipples & No Men want to Suckle them 🤷🏻♂️ What’s wrong with these Men”
😀Ha ha if only.
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