Long distance … does it work?

[Chocbunni]

I’m a Romantic, so I want to believe it works especially if all the variables are within the equation… communication, trust, seeing each other x amount of days/weeks or months .. understanding each other’s love language is very important too .

[Thurston]

Wow, so many smart, insightful answers here! And an excellent topic Mr. French. I think it depends on what we mean by “dating”. Trust, and meeting each others needs is essential. Those needs are different for everyone. But regular negotiated visits, and some honest discussion of the long-term plan is usually needed.

[Mr.French]

@chochoneybunni thanks for the optimism 🙂 and the key ingredients. Chocolate bunnies sound delicious 😉

[Mr.French]

@thurston3 a plan! There we go now we’re cooking. Brilliant sir

[Tom]

Yes, long distance can totally work. I was in a long distance relationship that led to my first marriage that long distance relationship lasted almost four years before we were married. It was during the 90s so most of it was through hand written letters and long distance calls paid for by the minute. I am open to long distance as few people share my interests in the community I live in.

In today’s world long distance is better and worse. Better in that you can have video calls and near constant messaging for a very low cost. Technology literally opens up the world with different cultures and experiences and values. Worse in that again due to technology you have to have realistic expectations of the other person’s time and schedule and be careful to not fill in the blanks of what is not said with an idealized view of the other person. Also worse is costs as the farther apart you are the more travel costs.

In both the 90s and now you had to be careful of deceitful people. The burden is on yourself to figure out if there are ulterior motives and not let those bad experiences deter you from your goal of a laying relationship.

I have read of surveys where long distance made better relationships because the relationship was more intentional and focused more on compatibility because the physical aspect was clearly less prominent due to distance.

I look at it as it takes two no matter the distance. If there is real interest, attraction, and chemistry distance does not matter. I have experienced this on this site where women that had distance qualifiers in their profile will reach out to me and break their own rules because they were interested. Where there is a will there is a way.

[Mr.French]

@redrooster thanks tom this was very insightful !

[Gih]

I had an amazing relationship at a distance. We met on a dating site… me in Brazil and he in Belgium. In less than 3 months he came to Brazil to meet me and we started dating. After 4 months he returned to Brazil again and we became engaged. The relationship flowed naturally. Unfortunately, he passed away 8 months before our wedding.
I believe in love and a sincere desire to make things work when both of them are committed.

Of course, which also involves money and time availability… this was no problem for him, which ended up making things easier!

After I discovered the site and lactation, I imagined that I could meet someone here with the same availability. I hope it works!!♥️

[Mr.French]

@giih wow! Thanks for sharing your love story this was very meaningful as it proves it is still out there and the most relevant because she happens to be from switzerland.

[Author]

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