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First time poster, long time lurker. Lately, I’ve seen an uptick in messages and ads on here seeking super casual ABF. Which is fine, and to each their own, but I wanted to push back a bit on the thinking that something is “just ANR.” For example, I’ve been asked to lower my standards (for age especially) because it’s “just ANR.” Also, ads where it’s clear any pair of breasts may do.
Even if sex or sexual acts other than ANR are not on the table, there is no “just ANR.” It’s an intimate act, and for many of us, it’s emotional as well. There’s a closeness and bonding aspect to it. It’s not a transactional event or a hookup or a way to get off without having full-on sex. Here and on other ANR forums, I see an attitude that ANR is basically “kink-lite” or “hookup-lite” where traditional niceties and getting to know you isn’t needed.
Again, if super casual is all you both seek, more power to you, but also recognize that for many people, it’s a lot more than drive-by nursing. The R in ANR stands for relationship, and that’s what many of us DO seek–an ongoing, fulfilling relationship, and in some cases, partnership. ANR is also work, especially if lactation is mutually desired–pumping, time involvement, overall health, and that’s not something to be undertaken lightly.
My point is this: If you wouldn’t say something to someone you wanted to date or be friends with, consider whether or not saying it in this context is appropriate. A little respect goes a very long way. Not everyone on here wants casual, and even those who do still deserve basic respect. Don’t assume that because it’s “just ANR” that all who are here take it as lightly.
Well-Written! Some seek the drive-through; with an order of large fries.
Perhaps they are mixing up ABF, the act, with the relationship, ANR.
The good thing about this site is that you can block the obnoxious messengers. Review ads at your own peril. 😜I couldn’t agree more! I make it super clear that I’m looking for a long term relationship with ANR at its heart and if I had a pound for every message I’d had from someone who is after something casual, telling me that they’d be happy to help out while I’m waiting, I’d be a rich woman!
Claps..yes!! I 100% agree. It surprises me to see the amount of messages posted…”traveling,” “in the area” and watching their posts go empty. I often wonder if they ever wonder why or if they REALIZE, that it is NOT a desired option for many, including me.
Thank you for writing. It’s spot on.
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