How are you maintaining long-term relationships?

[Cuddle]

Hey All-

I’m quite new here on the ABF-Heaven site and I am genuinely curious about something that I had noticed while browsing about the personals..

Many people will reply to posts of those who seemingly live a great distance apart – let’s say greater than 100mi / 2+ hours of commuting or more. A great deal of said posts are quite clear in regards to a long-term commitment relationship along with the need to be within a reasonable commuting distance for it to work out mutually.

Basically, what I’d like to hear from others – have you tried or are you currently in a long distance ABF and/or ANR relationship and if so, how did/is that working out for you? Do you both meet regularly? If so, how often? How did you both meet? How far is your commute? And lastly – do you feel that the commute / distance has a positive, negative and/or neutral effect on the relationship in terms of both partners being satisfied as a whole?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

My vanilla marriage was prefaced with 6+ months of long distance. Long distance is a labor of love, it’ all about the connection with the other person. You’ll need to genuinely enjoy talking to this person and enjoy the fact they exist, because sometimes that’s all you’ve got to go on. Doesn’t matter what the kinks are, if any: you’ve gotta love the person. It’s all about the emotional connection, all other rewards are deferred. We saw each other every weekend, I spent literally all my cash on plane tickets. Sometimes we’d miss a week, and that was emotionally rough (I was still in my late 20’s and highly codependent, so missing a week killed me back then). It’s an all-or-nothing investment and there’s no insurance. As for ANR/ABF, I would plan to set nursing entirely outside the realm of expectations until the distance is resolved.

[Gumdrops (ToT)]

Hi Matt,

Welcome to ABFHeaven!

The long-term thing… a lot of people looking for a more dependent relationship like marriage are focused on the “long-term” category…. Most are either single or married looking for something extra.

Lactation in it self as a practice is a “time” sensitive practice. When the breasts get full, they need to be relieved. Options for relief are limited, pump or nurse. So distance is a major factor.

I won’t even consider anyone not within a 1 hour driving distance, it’s just too difficult to maintain.

[Just Jay]

I think it solely depends on what best fits you first then what good compromises for each other, I’ve never had a long-term ANR but for it to be as consistent as possible you would need to work out a healthy arrangement between the both of you, long or short distance or whatever it needs to be accessible to both of you fairly.

It can work for some and not work for everyone we all have different arrangements and desires so just do what best fits you and hope for the best.

God speed.

[Author]

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