Girls…has men’s behaviour here changed

[Ste]

Evening all, happy thanksgiving to our friends over the water.
There was a discussion on here regarding men’s behaviour here during messaging. I have been a member of this fabulous site for a few years and lately sense a defensive stance from girls I contact. Lots of times I contact purely to chat and make a platonic friendship.
I understand fully and respect anyone’s right not to want to chat, but this seems to be more and moreso lately.
Would appreciate the ladies perspective

[Lucy]

That may have been a topic I started a while back or another post but it’s certainly an on-going theme 🙂

I don’t personally find any need to be defensive about any message (sticks and stones as they say) but I do find that a lot/most have not read my profile (or have but think they can convince me to enter a different sort of relationship than I’m looking for. For the record, they can’t). I suspect most women, like me, get a lot of messages on here and some may feel that people contacting them when either they are too far away or are clearly looking for something different to them is a problem. There is also a set of men who are just using the site for sexting. When the first message is something on the lines of “what size are your tits?” or requesting photographs, that will usually be a red flag for most women. I’m sure that’s not your style but if that’s happened a few times, it could make them feel uncomfortable.
I think there is a way to politely decline any further interaction if it’s unwelcome of course. My best advice would be to read profiles before any contact and pre-face your messages with your intentions.

Just my two-pence worth 😉

[Ste]

I know we have chatted in tbe past Lucy, but I would never dream of opening up a conversation to that style. Its a shame some ki d of verification cannot be boughtbin….not a suckler rating as such but a general guide to your personality

[Trey]

I look at it from their perspective. Some probably get dozens of DMs constantly, it’d be exhausting.

[Lucy]

Indeed we have and I know that’s not your style Ste 🙂

I do think profiles could do with having more specifics included such as relationship/marital status (and hope that people would be honest about that), situation with children (have them/don’t have them/want them/don’t want them), looking for casual or committed? and a lot more I could list but especially a “is this a sexual desire for you?” question would help a lot from the outset.

[Lucy]

I certainly do but I try to answer them all just the same.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I agree with all of the above, Ste, Lucy and Trey. It’s exhausting and off-putting.

[Flowrgardn]

Ste, Lucy Rey and Rachy J …agreed…it is exhausting and off-putting, not to say annoying when a guy doesn’t bother to read your profile. Or he reads your profile and attempts to act civil, yet after only a few exchanges of “normal” conversation they ask for pics. Oe the pic requester who hasn’t bothered to fill out their profile beyond a few words and has no pictures of their own act like they’re entitled to see yours. It’s tiring and annoying.

[Ste]

Thank you all for your responses

[Sarah 💞✨]

For me personally, I still answer the DMs. I expect the what’s your bra size question to come up( hello on a boobie site.)
The opening first messages have been rather disappointing lately.
I’m normally sweet and I find myself responding slightly terse at those.
So I stepped back a bit to maybe reset myself so that I can educate the misguided as opposed to being rude.
Sometimes it’s stuff in the real world spilling into here that makes us not ourselves.
The holidays are going to look differently for many of us, ( newly orphaned, empty nesters, economically etc) so hopefully this will be a place to pop into throughout the season
I still believe in the Christmas miracle

[Anonymous]

Great topic! I feel like the site has changed recently, and concur with the comments above. Additionally, the messages that I receive are increasingly more “aggressive”. The site used to have more of a fun vibe and people wanting to genuinely connect, with only the occasional creeper; but now it appears to have devolved to be more raunchy IMO.

With some of the things that have recently transpired in the chats, I could see why guys would approach women more aggressively. For example, someone recently sent me a pretty aggressive message and I clapped back. They apologized and basically admitted they thought it was ok because of what they had seen in the chats. We actually went on to have a decent conversation. But it shouldn’t be like that.

While I know that Admin has a big, thankless, job to police everyone especially as the site grows, it seems they may be turning a blind eye to what’s going on or may somehow be benefiting from it. Or perhaps they don’t understand the effect it has, especially towards the women. Despite best efforts, it’s probably too much for one person to really know what’s going on all the time. I’m partially speculating here.

I’m also wondering if, like some other “fetish” sites, this is just becoming a feeder for OnlyFans or pay-to-play sessions, which would also account for the change in tone. I have heard rumors about this happening but have not attempted to verify them.

I have contemplated deleting my account, recently, because of this change in tone, but I’m still holding out hope of finding the gentleman I seek. I’m a hopeless romantic, I guess. Lol.

[Anonymous]

I have been in this site for years and haven’t noticed a change in the messages really. I have had women who have cyber stalked me and harassed my friends though. Most women I have interacted with have been supportive and kind, but there have been a few that somehow feel so intimated by other women that they resort to disturbing and harassing behaviors

[Anonymous]

Once you get hooked on that Swamp Drama, no other strain o’ Drama will do. You’ll just be chasin’ that drag… You can’t get this anywhere else. Not this pure, and uncut.

[Ste]

I definately can see a changecof attitude in DMs since i first joined. I have been a lover of ABF for 30 odd years but never knew it existed as a kink, let alone other people and women enjoyed it as much as I do. It was great to chat and build up a relationship, sometimes leading to a meet, sometimes platonic but both equally as important.
This is not the case now, probably due to all of the reasons as discussed here.
Its a great shame

[Anonymous]

Too bad that people who were kicked off the site for selling services are allowed back on to continue…. Just saying. Could be related to the changes in the site, just a theory.

[Author]

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