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Good morning,
I hope, you all are well.
I apologize in advance. As this will be my form of my therapy, and a rant.
Ghosting. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. And a clarity on your character as a crappy human. As a woman, I find this kind of behavior immature and disgusting. No apology will suffice.
I woke up today.. hurt, confused, lost and sad. I keep thinking, of all the time spent, getting to know you, and all that time is now waisted on a ghost, poof, like that, you are gone! I wish you had balls to tell me something, anything. A lie even. But to ignore me 2 hours BEFORE we are to meet. Not ok. I will blast you.. (no names) in a Taylor swift song lol.
Don’t do it. Ppl. Grow up.
Thank you for my TED talk. rant over. I feel kinda better. Off for some retail therapy now lol
Hmmm ..How do you, handle ghosting?
Very childish behavior. You dodged a bullet. You deserve much better. %$@#$%* him (or her).
Sorry to hear that, but thank you for speaking on behalf of most of the men here. We get ghosted or shadow blocked and we are told to grow up and a woman doesnt have to talk to you. She doesn’t owe you a response.
Thank you for sharing how insensitive it is and how it hurts when it is done to a woman even though emotionally it’s the same thing despite gender
I just think of it that I was lucky enough I never met them because then what if they ghosted me after wasting even more of my time!?
They haven’t deserved meeting you in a first place.
We all will meet a compatible and wonderful person that matches our energy!
Hugs to you!
And how do I cope? I talk to my folks, I post here sometimes on the chatroom, get busy to get distracted, focus on my work/school and hobbies. Ranting is very helpful! I usually also take a short break but not always.🫂🫂🫂🫂
And yes – ghosting is immature and you don’t wanna be around someone like that.
Some people are here to play fantasy world and once it gets too close or they have to make some effort either in communication or in real life,or may be too hard, to wait, then there is nothing. I also have been very disappointed, one time right before I travelled there, he decided that I was not good enough, another time after a meeting I got ghosted. You did not deserve it and I almost wish there was a register for people who do that, and was publicly shared.
“Hmmm ..How do you, handle ghosting?”
I, uhh… I… can’t. 😅
I cannot physically fathom a world where I suddenly disappear without giving the other person SOME degree of a heads up. The uncertainty I would cause the other person is a pain I could never envision inflicting on another soul.
I’m ashamed to say that I don’t take it as well as I’d like. If I somehow don’t have a minor anxiety attack overthinking what on Earth I did to warrant the other person deciding to disappear without a trace, then I opt to keep it simple and just get immensely sad instead.
I’m currently going through a potential ghosting right now. I’m giving the other person a lot of benefit of doubt and hoping she’s just too busy/scatter-brained to respond to an appointment, but I’m pretty sure I’m just kidding myself, and I don’t want to act so pathetic as to triple-text to see if she’s still interested. I will admit, it’s… not a pleasant experience.
Sorry, Jake 🙁
A lot of people are getting unrealistic expectations from the other person and when time comes to meet they freak out and never meet. It is quite frequent behavior on this website.
Just know, some of us put an effort in communication and we value it.
🫂🫂🫂
Yes it’s always a difficult experience but it is not worth spending emotional energy on trying to rationalise it. There is no rationality to it and it is an occupational hazard on internet dating sites. Try to think it was never going to be right and move on as soon as you are strong enough. Your real friends will support you. There are good people around, you just have to find them.
The sad part is this seems to have become internet culture. A lot don’t think of the person on the other side. Because they can hide behind a screen or phone. People have feelings. Especially in this small community. Where trust building a bond is so paramount.
Having an ANR is hard to find.
Maybe people give up hope. ( OR are not as serious as other.)
It is true that there are several factors.
Such as: -location, -seriousness, -trust, -desire, -time, -personality, -communication, -caringness, and -maybe others.I, personally, am VERY serious about ANR!!!!!!
I think it’s currently happening to me.
I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know what’s happening on her end. Trying to be patient.But the men or women that PURPOSELY do this are either…
emotionally weak, or can’t handle a full fledged adult, or they never did value or care about you. Their “interest” was simply just to get something from you, but NOT… YOU.
OR…. this pursuit was just a game. Often times they’re just playing around, trying to see how far they can go with someone. WHY? Because, they’re already in a committed relationship or married, OR bored, OR realize that they have no business being with someone they meet on this site, because it could “complicate” their current life somehow. Yeah, they sometimes come to a realization or epiphany when it’s go-time, when S%#@ is about to become real, when things are actually happening and that SCARES them S&%#less.Basically: THEY’RE the ones with issues, NOT YOU. You were the one that actually demonstrated good faith, by putting yourself out there. Their childish decision ISN’T a reflection of YOUR worth. They could recognize value of the Hope Diamond even if it were put in their lap. THEY HAVE ISSUES, even if they appeared to seem normal.
Sometimes it’s a gamble we have to expect nowadays. It’s very disrespectful, inconsiderate, immature, thoughtless, having not scruples, qualms or compunction. AND WHO WANTS A SMALL SOMEONE LIKE THAT? We’re the one that have normal adult qualities. They don’t, under their circumstances. Actually we’re so out of their league on several important levels, as mature mildly reasonable adults.So yeah, it completely sucks that they messed with us: reaching out, messaging or talking a lot, “sharing”, saying niceties, getting your hopes up, etc, etc.
( @pleasedontdeleteme well summarized the male perspective. Thanks pal.)Here’s some advice: If a person reached out to you first let them put in the work. Make sure that communication moves, from messaging here, to texting, calling, VIDEO CALLS (key), and meeting up in a public place. And share basic yet primary information. But there is such thing as: OVERsharing, especially while still in the messaging faze. Use your good judgement and what feels safe.
Now if YOU reach out first, and the person on the other end seems to reciprocate the interest, again: don’t do all the work.The reality is that a Ghoster hides IMPORTANT things from you: the entire time. And likely was dishonest or lied to you about multiple things. Despite the pretty face, the nice voice, and after all the things they said, they didn’t feel you were worth proper adult treatment. Not even the courtesy of a: “I’m sorry. You’re a nice person. But after thinking about things on my end, I don’t think things will work out. But I wish you a successful search.” The ideal scenario.
We should NEVER sink into CYNICISM. Never permit ourselves that. Adopting that thinking can and will impede, stagnate and defeat us. Turning us into emotionally miserable sheltered people. NO THANKS!
Just keep your heads up folks. You all seem to have a big heart (not cardiomegaly, the medical condition). You all deserve and WILL find someone that’ll respect, appreciate, cherish you and MORE.
Sorry for the editorial folks.
BTW: @btrfly, everything’s going to be ok.
unfortunately we will not be the first nor the last to be “ghosted”, and the attitude of certain people, without any seriousness and hiding behind a false personality, creates a deep climate of unease and mistrust.
For my part, at the beginning of my research, and not wishing to disclose any identity whatsoever, I was always direct and sincere, without evading a single question or remark. And often after 24 hours I realize that I am blocked after a final remark like “you are strange” … and My return remained unanswered of course “strange how? We have many points in common and you find me “strange” …
Or, after a certain period of dialogue, after “trust” has been established, nothing! Radio silence. I have maintained all my resilience and I have not given up. Now, I have found my rare diamond, right here. And we are waiting to finally meet soon. Keep the faith and never give up.
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