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I’m honestly just ready to give up on this anr all together. Every single time someone contacts me, it’s because it’s sexual to them, they’re far away or make it known they’re not who I’m looking for and still want something. It is absolutely unnecessary to respond then not to respond. There is no need in it, you are not going to change my mind, nor anyone else’s for that matter because, anr is not for just meeting up with whomever. It is an actual relationship, not a just having a partner to suck on or have nurse. It’s not a fun time part time thing, it is a serious relationship. I wish people would stop misconstruing the truck concept, it’s like nowadays dating is a hookup with multiple people because, people don’t want to actually get to know someone anymore.
After 10 years and a failed marriage, I honestly do not have any hope in finding someone that’s even remotely respectful to have a relationship with, nonetheless a conversation. This is my rant.
People have different preferences and not everyone is looking for the same thing.
The best thing you (and everyone) should do it make it 100% clear what you are looking for on your profile.
I totally agree with you 100% on everything you said. There are men on here who are in a relationship but still want to drop by to put it gently.
They don’t grasp the depth of suckling, this is a very intimate process.
Exactly, Stephanie. I wish I could have a dollar for every female that’s deleted her profile online because of the 99% of internet guys treating everything like Tinder. They even try to mislead, saying that’s not them… but then it turns out they’re not the 1% either… but the 99%.
You’re not crazy; it’s NOT just you.
The best thing to do is just block them, don’t reply back if you can, but once you discover they’re not on the same page as you just block them so that you don’t have to read that garbage anymore or them contacting you anymore, by you leaving it gives them power over you. don’t cut and run, give them the middle finger instead.
There are two people on here that don’t need to educate me, you need to read what I said! I hate having to dumb everything down because you can’t read and comprehend. It gets old, this is exactly what I just explained. Just because people have different perspectives, does not give anyone the right, to contact someone like me, asking me to change my mind. You don’t need to tell me what I should do, those people need to get smart and stop throwing themselves around like a desperate fools.
You didn’t even read what I said. This is exactly what I’m talking about.
It does get old quick and is tiring. I get a lot of guys asking me about my milk, wanting videos of me pumping, etc… when my profile says I’m dry.
I put a bunch of info in the profile of which a lot of guys don’t read; breast size, what I’m looking for, etc. Recently, one guy said he didn’t read it because it was “too long”… but he still contacted me (from Romania to boot) and asked questions that were also answered in my profile.
You try to be nice but, it’s consistent, these guys don’t have to put up with it.
Stephanie:
What would you suggest needs changing about the site to make things better? As things stand, anyone can message anyone on ABFheaven. There are no restrictions. I have set things this way because I believe the “block” function is effective enough for most (female) users to deal with the inevitable annoying messages they will receive, some more than others.
But nothing’s set in stone. Let me know your thoughts. In an ideal world, how would the messages system work on this site? Or is there even any point to a “technical” fix?
There really isn’t a “technical fix” her best option is to block and keep it moving and don’t engage in those conversations, by her engaging with those people it only embolden them, once they are blocked they are done, unless they get another profile and start stalking. then the technical fix would be to block that person IP, but there are ways around that too.
Just spitballing, but I see a few ways to mitigate the problem that have been implemented in other dating oriented services:
* Require some kind of mutual agreement before messages can be exchanged (i.e. only friends can message)
* Lay out some strict rules in messaging and heavily moderate them (I don’t personally support this as those rules will be inherently difficult to create fairly and enforce).
* Change the culture of the community, which is going to be impossible when a vast majority of that community never communicates and has an open door.
* Enforce some kind of vetting or referral system to weed out people before they even get in. I’ve seen this lead to very insular communities that I can’t recommend.Barring that, I don’t think there’s anything site administrators or members can do to prevent that kind of behavior. I understand and empathize with the frustrations expressed here, it sucks. I don’t agree with the defeatist “that’s just how men are”, but I think systemic change in the way men at large view and interact with women is a massive undertaking by entire societies and not something that a single community can solve.
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