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Have if you have a completed profile and at some time had an incomplete profile, did you notice a difference in contact? If you have a completed profile, do you feel that men take the time to read your profile before messaging or sending a friend request? If a man does not have a completed profile do you immediately disregard in initial message? If a profile is incomplete and you would normally disregard a message, do you reconsider if there is effort in the initial message?
I have my own opinions on profiles and initial messages, I’m just curious about how others handle things.
I would say it’s hit or miss. I have a complete profile, but clearly some men do not take the time to read it before contacting or sending a friend request.
I absolutely give men with an incomplete or limited profile much less interest; if they haven’t bothered with their profile they don’t strike me as sincere. ABF and ANR take committed time and effort; if a guy can’t bother with a profile to give basic info and a sense of themselves, they don’t seem serious to me.
However, if someone has a limited profile but does make an effort by writing a note and providing info there I would give them some consideration and would respond. However, if someone doesn’t bother to send a note with their friend request I delete their request. I don’t have the time or energy to suss out what they want or what they’re looking for.
I’ve had both a very full detailed profile and a very basic one at the minute. I’ve also put up at times for men not to contact me when I’ve been taking a break. I think most men who message or friend request me do not read my profile regardless of how well completed or not it. I’ve even messaged back telling them so.
If someone is new to the site and havent fully completed their profile I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt but if I see they are a member a year with a blank profile I wont reply.
That’s consistent across other sites though and not just here imo.
@flowrgardn, most of the men that message me either don’t read my profile or think they are an exception. It’s frustrating, most of the time I don’t even bother replying, not even to say I’m not interested in talking.
@juicyboobies I sometimes forget that you can see when a person joined the site, I do not bother if someone has been on the site for several months and doesn’t have anything on their profile or it just gives basic info like “looking for a woman to nurse from”.
I’ve noticed the same on FetLife and other sites. I asked a guy a few months ago why his profile wasn’t filled out, he said he hasn’t had time, but he joined FetLife 8 years ago. 🤔
Elizabeth,if he doesn’t have time to complete his profile on 8 years,then he won’t have time for you either.
On the replies,I get the same thing: clearly haven’t read my profile,or admit they have and expect to be the exception.
ITS VERY FRUSTRATING!!
The other reply that seems to be standard on here is to ask if I’ve had luck on here.
I feel this is a stupid question to ask because if I have had luck on this site,you wouldn’t find me on here! Duh!
And so I continue the search…I find that men who have virtually nothing on any online profile are making a statement. Typically they aren’t someone I would connect with. I do, on occasion contact men, but since I’m not online regularly, it’s more likely men contact me.
Since I’m truly looking for a connection not just chat/pic sharing, I’m pretty selective in who I talk to and I always look at their profile before responding to anyone.
Have a great day ladies!
I have my DMs turned off, which means I initiate most conversation and enjoy it that way, because I only interact with a profile I think is worth my time investment. Men do send me friend requests, which I accept based on a variety of factors- quality of introduction message, overall energy, do they have an informative profile, have they read my profile? and location. I don’t engage with low quality profiles- nothing filled out, no picture, one liner profiles, messaging me only because they are in the same state as me. I do get very nice conversation requests from men who genuinely want to chat, but other than that I have little in common with. Those are evaluated carefully. I enjoy connecting with the community but only have so much time.
There was a time I had a three sentence profile compared to what I have now. I don’t know if there was a difference in message sender quality because I’ve had my DMs off very early on, to preserve my sanity.
I tend to read into a man’s profile to pick up on the energy. Most men are not very verbose or know how to market themselves well. Most struggle to write anything interesting beyond breast desires. I try to give most the benefit of the doubt because it’s not so much the amount of words, as it is the quality and energy of the words. If I sense a good energy, I will message the profile. If I get a really good intro message from a sparse profile, and it seems the energy is good, most likely I will accept.
Effort always wins out. Sometimes the profile is not filled out, but the intro message and ensuing conversation is great. Sometimes there is no picture, but the profile quality is great. It really comes down to what I sense is real and from that, what part I align with. I don’t respond internally to low effort, so I don’t externally waste time engaging with it.
After joining and getting past the newbie poachers I was able to see a bit clearer. I’ve found a lot of men DO NOT read beyond the basic information on the top of the profile. I’ve found many are interested in pics and having inappropriate conversations to get off; those conversations don’t last long because that’s not what I am about. When my profile had more information, I felt it was overlooked. Now, it has two lines and they still ignore it. Men are also visual; I had a picture of myself as my avatar for two weeks. Needless to say it brought on unwanted attention of men just shooting their shot.
As far as looking at the men’s profiles, I always look before answering a message. Its definitely disappointing when there is no information. Its not horrible but sometimes profiles give icebreakers or conversation starters. I have realized the ABFH profiles are not like regular dating profiles. The one consistency is men NEVER know what to write, so I don’t hold this against them. I’ve had great conversations with men with blank profiles and very awful or bland conversations with men who have full profiles. A lot of answers come out in conversation. I wouldn’t want to disregard a potential partner (not currently looking) based on the way their profile reads.
I think it would be helpful if there were some prompts of FAQs to use in the profile (people would still have to read). How long have you been into ANR/ABF? What do you like about ANR/ABF? What type of relationship are you looking for? And whatever other frequently asked non invasive questions we all answer within the first 10 minutes.
Toggle buttons for- Do you have a partner? Are you looking for a partner? Are you willing to relocate?@treasurechest I just turned messages off this morning. It’s overwhelming getting shit tons of messages, especially when the content of the messages are generic and there isn’t a complete profile. I have always made my geographical requirements known and it is either completely disregarded or my profile is not read at all. Even though I do have geographical requirements are far as a relationship is concerned I have had great conversations with a few men on this site, and I have chatted with a few off this site.
Like you, I read into profiles, negativity is a hard pass. The worst are men that put on their profile “this site is nothing but fakes” or “this site is all fakes, prove me wrong” I don’t do temper tantrums or begging for that matter.
@bella3 in the past I have excused profiles not being filled out because they do not know what to say. But google is so easy to use, if a person really doesn’t know what to say they can easily google, what to include in a personal profile. I think having prompts for FAQs is a great idea.
@lusciousliz I had no clue what to write initially but its definitely not rocket science. I read a TON of profiles and tweaked it until I was pleased with the profile. It was apparent of those who read it based on the messages.
BTW, This was a great post/question! I like seeing the comparison of men vs women and everyone’s thoughts.
Hello! I also have experienced that men do NOT read profiles or if they do.. they believe they are an exception.. I stopped answering msgs from men not in my criteria.. yet so many men complain abt not getting answers from their msgs.. I love men.. I really do.. I really love male energy.. but some men
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