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Have you ever been called down to the FBI office? I am guessing not. But it is certainly worrisome when you are. I found this out about three days ago. I was sitting in my living room, in Forney, TX, eating cold pizza on a lunch break. I work from home, and honestly, left over pizza loses its luster in the microwave, so cold it is.
As I was sitting there, minding my business, watching reruns of the Big Bang Theory, my phone rang. When I look down to see who it was, it said FBI Office Dallas. Now, I get spam calls all the time, but this particular one was a 214 number without the one in front. Nowadays, it’s pretty rare to actually see an area code without a one, that’s not family or friend.
But I sent it to voicemail anyway.
A few moments later my phone buzzed as there was a message. When I checked my text, I saw that the person who called left a message.
Mr. Gaunt, this is Jody Clark from the FBI Office in Dallas and I need to speak to you about an ongoing investigation and an issue surrounding a client you worked for.
Inside Baseball –So, for those of you who don’t know I am a fraud investigator but in reality, I am an excel automator. I automate excel programs for clients to speed up work. Basically, I take what’s taking them a week or longer and turn it into minutes or seconds. I am a certified fraud examiner, but honestly, over the past twenty years, I’ve only done two fraud examinations and more than twenty automations.
So, to put it mildly, I was a little curious if not anxious about what someone at the FBI would want to talk with me about.
I called back and got Miss Clark’s voicemail. I left her a message and told her that I would be willing to speak with her at her convenience.
So, I went back to my cold pizza and Big Bang Theory, but to be perfectly honest, I could only worry about what she might want. I’ve spent the last twenty years automating very sensitive data for over twenty clients. And a few of them were sketchy.
About thirty minutes later, my phone rang and once again, it said FBI Office Dallas.
This time I answered. And the voice, on the other end, said, “Mr. Gaunt, this is Agent Jody Clark of the FBI, do you have a moment.”
Well, I think that’s good news, as I am not sure this is how they contact you if you are a suspect.
I said, “Yes, Agent Clark, what can I do for you?”
“Mr. Gaunt, would you be willing to come down to the FBI office and speak to me in person.”
“Yes, I would be happy to do that. Is there a time that is best for you.”
“Sooner the better would be best. Can you come today?”
“Yes, I can be there in about an hour.”
“Very good Mr. Gaunt, I will see you then.”
I’d like to say that I felt relieved after speaking with her. But honestly, the fact that she wanted to speak to me immediately gave me pause. But I quickly alerted my boss to the situation and they told me to attend to it.
As I pulled out of my driveway and began driving down FM 740 towards I-80, I noticed there was a car that was seemingly following me. However, there’s only one main road that goes in and out of my neighborhood. So, it could easily be someone from the neighborhood trying to get on the highway.
But as I got on I-80, I quickly moved into the left lane, and so did that vehicle.
Driving within the speed limit, while keeping a constant eye on this vehicle that appears to be following me, I continued for about ten miles, then changed into the right lane.
They changed as well.
Then, I noticed another car was behind them.
Then, I noticed a car got in front of me and appeared to be traveling in the same direction I was. Now obviously we’re on a highway, so we’re all traveling the same direction. But that car never exited. Now I’m getting nervous.
So, as we’re traveling into Dallas, there’s plenty of exits that were passing and the car in front of me and the cars behind me are not taking them.
In fact, as I followed GPS all the way to the FBI headquarters in Dallas, the exit I took, and the turns that I made, were mirrored by the cars in front of me, and the cars behind me. It was only when I entered the parking lot, did they continue. At this point I was very nervous. What if this was some easy way to take me into custody. The flee part of me was gaining traction, but I continued. I felt like a kid going to the principal’s office knowing they were about to meet Ol’ Spanky.
So, I parked my truck and walked inside. After being scanned and petted down, I walked up to the desk and told them who I was and who I was here to see. They told me to have a seat and they would be right with me.
Something inside of me told me I was in for a long wait.
I was dead wrong.
Two men came out of the elevator and then called me over. As I got in the elevator, they swiped their badge and pressed seven. It was at that point I realized I was not leaving unless they let me.
We got off on the sixth floor. That’s right, six. They pressed seven. And now I wanted to puke, I was so nervous. With no expression, they escorted me to an office and told me to wait.
It was a very plain conference room with no electronics of any kind. I seriously looked around the room and there wasn’t a camera in sight. Now, this is the FBI so that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a camera. But there was no mirror wall where they could watch me, or any of that. I even looked under the table and it was nothing but a few pieces of gum. Suddenly I thought of Ocean’s 11. The room they took Danny to where there were no cameras. The ass-kicking room. I mind was racing.
About ten minutes later, a woman walked in and introduced herself as Agent Jody Clark.
She had her laptop and a rather thick folder with her. Over the course of the next forty-five minutes, we discussed a client that I had done an automation for about eight years ago.
But after I explained the program to her and answered the questions that she wanted answered, I noticed she began to smile a bit. I mean, this woman had been stone faced the entire time.
She looked at me, “Now Mr. Gaunt, in reviewing who you are and the things you do, I have come across something rather interesting.”
Nervously, I said, “Ok.”
She looked at me with a smile, a rather coy one, “Now I want to keep things on the up and up. We did obtain illegal search warrant for your I.P address. Using that information, I was able to detect the traffic and websites you frequently visited. I was also able to view posts that you had made in the public domain.”
“Ok”
She closed the laptop, sat back, and crossed her legs, “If any of this is making you uncomfortable, I want to know, because we are finished with the questioning for the matter in which I officially brought you down here. But with your permission, I would like to discuss something unofficial.”
Rubbing my arm, I muttered, “Sure.”
She raised one eyebrow and she uncrossed her legs and leaned close to me, “I read your writings about ANR. I have never heard of this type of fetish. I had never even considered that there was anything like this at all. The passion and the pictures that you paint with your writing are so enthralling! I must be honest with you Mr. Gaunt. This job is extremely stressful. It’s hours and hours of sifting through mind-numbing data that makes no sense and it’s only in the end do you finally get a sense of what some of it means.”
Everything inside my body relaxed.
I smiled at her, “You brought me down here for a session.”
She laid back in her chair and began unbuttoning her blouse and looked at me and said, “Do you have a problem with that.
I smiled and coyly said, “Not if you handcuffed me to the chair.”
She stood up, grabbed me in a choke hold, put her knee in my back, and slammed my hand against the chair rail, racked my wrist with a handcuffs, and I was attached before I finished breathing. Yep, there was some training involved in this woman’s career choice.
She then threw her blouse down to the ground, undid her bra and tossed it aside. She then sat down in the chair, right in front of me, and pushed my head into her right breast.
At that point, instinct took over and my lips locked on her areolas. My tongue extended down and I began to suckle, as her nipple rode up-and-down my tongue, as she cradled my head.
My mind was buzzing. I don’t think I was physically in the room yet. I mean, I went from discussing excel to now be in the middle of an ANR session. This doesn’t happen to me. This happens to other people, and I watch it on video. This happens to other people, and I read about it. This happens to friends and then I hear about it later. This doesn’t happen to me.
“Oh my God!” She said, as she breathed deeply and sank into the chair, pulling me with her as her arms wrapped around my head in a stiff embrace.
She was pushing my head into her breast quite a bit. And with my hand immobilized by the handcuff, and my other hand naturally wrapped around her back. Slowly, I was sinking into her breast, and my nose was getting squished. Suddenly I was having trouble breathing.
I moved my head aside and my nose found the air and I sucked in deeply. But she continued snuggling my head as I continued suckling.
As I looked up at her eyes, they were closed and I could just see the stress, and the relief, and the enjoyment that she was experiencing.
A few moments later, with my eyes closed, I felt her hand over mine. She undid the handcuffs and tossed them to the ground. She then said, “Do it like you write about. Massage as you suckle.”
Without even taking my lips off of her, I used my right hand to massage the upper part of her chest, while my left hand supported and massaged the underside of the breast, to massage where it was sore from the underwire.
“Fuck…” she sighed, as she also shivered. ” I was completely shocked when I got to read about this. I knew then I needed to experience it. And you are not disappointing me!”
After what felt like about thirty minutes, she moved me to her left breast. That shuddering and shock of that brand new feeling happened all over again.
Just as I felt that I was going to go back to the other breast, her phone began buzzing.
“Shit.” She looked down at me, ” our time is up. This is all the time I was able to block for this experience. I hope you enjoyed yourself.”
She dressed herself quickly and then grab the files. ” Thank you for helping with my case, someone will come to escort you out.”
After she left a few moments later, the same gentleman who escorted me up came to escort me down. This time they pressed two, and we went to one. Like we were in a spy novel.
When we got to the lobby, I looked at them and said, would you tell Agent Clark that if she needs anything else just to reach out?
They looked at each other perplexed. One of them spoke, “Right.”
As I got back in my truck, I noticed no one was following me. I then began laughing as I spelled the letters F. B. I., “Federal Breast Inspector.”
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