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Interesting conversation at lunch today.
I mentioned I personally had no issue with seeing someone who is married. But I wondered about the appearance of ethics in that situation. If course it only becomes an issue if made public. But if or when things usually get messy. Ethics are not the same as morals. Morals change over time in society. While infidelity may or may not line up with someone morals is not my question. Can a relationship between two consenting adults, where one or both are also in a legal marriage be considered unethical?
Please let me know what you think.
These days there are so kinds of arrangements. I think most people would say so long as everyone is honest and up front then it’s just whatever consenting adults do. That said, I think it only reasonable to now that it’s a very rare thing indeed to find 2 let alone 3 little who are going to be fine with that. Not saying impossible, but odds surely stacked against you
If a woman desires to be in an ANR and is married or involved with someone w doesn’t wish to nurse with her.
I say it’s her business if she wants to nurse with me. I don’t pry or ask questions about her involvement with them. I’m not a judge, nor will I judge. I just enjoy the relationship she has with me. I know the limitations of it. The ethical or moral concerns are hers and only hers.It’s ok as long as all four people knew about the arrangement and are ok with it.
I would echo what others have said. As long as everyone knows what is going on and is okay with it, then why not.
I’m all for ethical nonmonogamy. When there are secrets there is an issue of ethics and morals. I’m not going to help someone cheat, and I do not cheat. Even in the case of platonic nursing, I feel it’s cheating. If there were nothing wrong with it there would be no reason to hide it.
Setting morals and ethics aside. Even if I were ok with nursing an otherwise unavailable person, I just wouldn’t bother. It’s a logistical mess, as it is two people have to work around their own schedules and distance, do I really want the hassle of sneaking around your partner, or being limited to times when the other person’s partner is not around, that is all more effort than I’m willing to put into something.
There is also the issue of where to meet up. Is a person comfortable with nursing in their house while their partner is away. If the nursing partner ok with going into a home shared with someone that doesn’t know what is going on.i would have a really hard time walking into a home with photos of a man family on the walls and the bedside table to do something his wife, partner, girlfriend doesn’t know about and in all likelihood would not be ok with.
Hotels get expensive and that is something else to hide. Depending on finances it’s not so easy to hide 150 or so spent on a hotel. Most hotels require a credit or debit card, so then there is a paper trail to hide. It’s all just sooo much work, it’s mentally exhausting thinking about it.
That’s my take on it. To each their own.
I think if the other side of the married party is unaware, it’s unethical.
Way more so for the first married partner than the person they’re cheating with — though I’d say that third person is toxic.
Again, that’s if the other married person has this going on behind their unaware back.
But if everyone knows- who cares!Well spoken Elizabeth and Pink! I’m in 100% agreement. I think many need to step back and put yourself in your partners shoes how would you feel? Would you let her breastfeed other men or perhaps giving love through oral because your not wanting the same as your partner or vise versa
In a perfect world yes! all persons involved would agree n everyone does the right thing and so on (btw I’m not married, I don’t condone cheating and I couldn’t have ABF with a married person due to the emotional connection during ABF). But I can’t help sympathise… sometimes life is messy!! I know people on this site who are good people, who are married and love their partners (male and female) but the other partner will not even contemplate trying ABF….. it’s so difficult to love someone and not have the thing you desire most in your life, people sometimes do the wrong thing but I don’t think it necessarily makes them a bad person. There are people on this site who are in loveless marriages who stay for their children or other reasons but seek out the comfort of another soul via ABF…. I’m positive it’s not what they would have imagined doing when they said “I do”.
I just think people can have good morals and ethics but want/desire/need can overtake the same…. A hard situation to be in and I don’t envy it in the slightest, my conscience would eat me alive!!
I mean, in a perfect world….
but she was asking about what we thought ethically and morally about this conundrum in this world.
We’re all big kids here and I’m certainly not here to judge anyone, but there can be seriously devastating effects of cheating. Staying for kids and cheating can be awful on so many levels even if one had never imagined themselves cheating and they’re a good moral person.
Cheating doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person – being with a married person doesn’t mean you’re a horrible person but to be cavalier about the possible outcomes is really messed up. That’s the toxic thing.
Sooo many people cheat for so many reasons but you never know how that’ll play out for who.In today’s world I think it depends on the individuals involved. Ethics and morals are not the same as they were 20 or 30 years ago. Fact is some people have no morals or ethics. I am not one to judge and I know that everyone has different reasons for nursing. Some nurse for stress relief or anxiety others want a nursing relationship. No matter the reason, for it to be unethical depends on the individuals ethics.
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