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Do any of you lovely people find abf attracts a lot of men who are deeply traumatised or have serious unresolved trauma or pain, deep-rooted emotional wounds, such as neglect, or abuse. I’ve had a few men message me who seem to tell me of the horrors and trauma they have experienced very early on in conversation.
Do they possibly associate abf with maternal love and feel that we are emotionally warm, protective, have empathy or are extremely caring towards weaker/smaller creatures by default.
As I’m not a therapist I find it very uncomfortable at times. If you’ve experienced this, how do you deal with it.
Hi juicy would love to chat with you but not publicly. Send me a DM.
I found your post interesting. I think yes, men into abf were probably emotionally neglected as a baby and they had their mothers love withdrawn from an early age and seek abf to relive that close connection with their mother that was taken from them. Psychologically it makes a lot of sense. I think men on here are looking for a deep connection which abf would offer them. Im not sure its totally unhealthy as obtaining abf may help them a lot, but it may not be what the women wants in the dynamic. Thats my take anyway but I think your on to something. Also maybe if they were bottle fed they seek a maternal connection they never had
@tony100 thank you. That’s another take on it. I’ve been told some extremely disturbing stories of abuse. It’s hard to get into the frame of mind for suckling once those thoughts are in my head.
Yes its something I am aware of. Withdrawing of a mothers love is very damaging and effects intimate relationships ongoing. I guessing maybe an ANR could be very good for the man, and fixed those wounds potentially.
By today’s standards… parts of my childhood (that I vividly remember) could be categorized as abusive. (I could’ve been an Everlast punching bag spokes kid. OR be a David Morgan quality tester. 😉😁Lol) Yeah, that’s why I need and want a mild-mannered (yet passionate), warm, loving, kind, nurturing partner. I’ve never had a nightmare when I was blessed with a nursing partner. Also, maybe it’s just me but, I’ve felt so refreshed and energized. Almost carefree. ABF/ANR is appreciated on so many levels.
No abuse or neglect in my childhood. I am on the waiting list to be assessed for Autism as an adult. Not sure if that has anything to do with it if i do have a ’tism or not. I just love the comfort etc of a lovely pair of breasts to snuggle up to.
Now you’ve got me reflecting on my childhood JB! 😆
I expect there’s quite some people that grew up in the UK during the 70s and 80s would say they didn’t get much affection from their parents. The start of two income households, latch key kids, and the embers of Victorian parenting methods dying out. However, in my case there could be something in this.
I’ve also considered that nursing brings a calming effect that helps to quieten brain activity, for those of us that can struggle to switch off. ABF is a natural remedy!
Just to add, it’s not just from childhood trauma or abuse I’m referring to. I’ve had 2 ex soldiers message me both suffering ptsd from things they witnessed during their service.
For me personally I would agree with the sentiment of TheMilkMan. My mother passed when I was very young. I only have a few memories of her.
I was not abused as a child. However, looking back I believe that I definitely was missing any kind of emotional bond to any adult. My older sister took care of the house old duties (she was 17) until she married and dad took care of the farm.
So, yes for me and ANR relationship is perhaps an area that I feel safe, nurtured.
That is noble those PTSD folks reached out to you for ANR/ABF – much better than them hitting the (illegal drug) bottle and/or alcohol.
This may be a stretch (and not fear porn) but in some cases it can become a case of the ex-solider biting the hand that was feeding, proverbially that is!
https://www.yahoo.com/news/former-u-sniper-chris-kyle-killed-shooting-range-145316626.html
Chris is immortalized in this movie:
https://www.warnerbros.com/movies/american-sniperBreastfeeding is by nature nurturing and refers back to the maternal love, attention, comfort and warmth that most of us received as infants. So for those who went through traumas and/or difficult times, it makes sense if they were trying to find that comfort and point of anchor in abf/anr.
In my opinion, no partner should offload their traumas on you; it’s one thing to provide some context and share some information (vulnerability is important when building a connection) but they should be aware of the impact their stories may have on you. Unfortunately some people went through awful things and everyone has a different threshold of what they can emotionally deal with.
I think in this case the most important is to know what you can or cannot process emotionally. If I were uncomfortable about them sharing their traumas, I would verbalise how it make me feel and enforce my boundaries.
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