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Can a man be happy in a relationship without ANR if he has a need for this? Has anyone ended a relationship because of no ANR? Its not something I have or want with my partner but I am drawn to finding it with someone else
Absolutely yes. I’m in a committed marriage with a lovely wife whom I love very much and who loves me. She won’t let me touch her breasts, let alone suckle them. Any interest and desire in ABF is entirely within me.
Do I long for ANR? Absolutely. And so I am preparing myself should I ever find myself not in my marriage (for whatever reason; I don’t want to get morbid).
I can satisfy myself with writing fiction and daydreaming of meeting up with the beautiful women I’ve met and corresponded with on this site or hope to introduce myself to from this site should the opportunity come up because I travel extensively.
Please forgive me for being blunt:
If your happiness in your relationship is based solely on something you cannot have, then I would think your relationship is at risk. I’m no counsellor, but I suggest you look for other aspects of your relationship that are solid in order to find happiness if you want to save your relationship.
I would think that most of us on this forum see ANR as a WONDERFUL addition to any relationship, be that relationship long-term with commitments or short-term with no strings attached. But if it is the one and only connection, even in an NSA one-night scenario, then I would think neither party is going to get the best out of the encounter.
YMMV.
You asked, I answered with my opinion … forgive me if it wasn’t what you were looking for or asking for. I’m assuming you are genuine in your inquiry.
I have had mostly vanilla mainstream relationships. This has been my core and I tried to hide it most of my life. I only talked about it in safe places like this. I wanted to know if my reality met my fantasy before I really became active on here. A kind man spent some time teaching me about myself, breast health, nipple health, positions, how to tell an effective latch verses ineffective latch etc. All I can say I thought I had great dreams of this and man did I underestimate myself and the power of an ANR. So for me it’s this or I get a dog and live out my days. A life half-lived is not a life! I want to live the rest of my life fully and completely me!
I certainly have been happy in vanilla relationships, but while always feeling like something important was missing, and that a need was being suppressed.
And on the other hand, during the two good ANR’s I’ve had, nothing seemed missing! It would be nice to have another chance at that. 🙂
I miss ANR in the relationships I have had that do not have it and I really feel I am only satisfied on the ones that have it and I can imagine how great it would be if someone was as dedicated as I am. Of course there are other aspects but that is something I really wish I could find.
Im like sarah. If i cant have anr id sooner get a dog and live out my days happily.
Thanks for all your replies. I wish I had known of my need for ANR before meeting my partner then it could have been a priority, but I am where I am, and that’s in a caring relationship. I will look at the positives and I don’t think I can end it based on not having ANR, and on the off chance that I may find it elsewhere. Knowledge is power and I wish I had known this about myself. Its not a deal breaker for me, but there is something missing at the same time which I’ll have to accept.
Can i ask why you dont want anr with your current partner. What about her makes you not want it and yet makes you want it with others?
Simply no. I don’t want to. The embrace and comfort I seek from it. I love it too much to let it go. Luckily, I have a loving partner who is open me to sharing this kind of love with a very select few.
I do wish you the best on finding your forever happiness.
Great question!!!
I don’t think I can settle with out an anr based relationship!!I would be quite happy if I were in a loving, intimate relationship.
I would be happier if said loving, intimate relationship included ANR.I’ve ended a marriage for very similar reasons, so my answer will come from that side of the decision tree. I would suggest that, to leave, you must be 101% sure, or more. Because depending upon how “vested” you are, emotionally, financially; ‘watching your bridges burn from the point of no return’ can challenge 100% of your certainty. I felt then and still feel now that it was the right thing for me to do, and my personal growth has benefitted from the experience overall. It was an ugly process, and I was an emotional wreck for years. That said, I’m glad I did it and I’m glad it’s over. Caveat relin.
I am glad you feel it was the right choice to end your marriage overall. Relationships are tricky (for me at least) and we have a good life together. There is a lack of intimacy that has never really been there but other than that things are really good. Theres many aspects to a relationship and Ive been unlucky that the main issue has been the intimacy. Maybe this should of been enough to end it but it happened over time and like I say, theres more to a relationship.
In answer to the question of why its not an ANR, is the lack of general intimacy, she doesn’t like me touching her breasts (I know!) and she definitely would not go for it. At the moment, these things are not enough to end the relationship but it does keep me questioning constantly.
I know you’re asking whether or not men specifically can be happy without it, so I hope you don’t mind a woman’s perspective on it. I personally can’t imagine being in a relationship without it now I’ve experienced it.
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