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Lots of ongoing complaints (mostly from women) that breast pictures in the chatroom deter women from taking part in chat.
Sounds plausible, definitely.
Others say it’s just fun, light-hearted stuff, not a big deal.
Also sounds plausible.
So let’s try this for a while:
Tues, Wed, Thurs, …breast pics allowed.
Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon…no breast pics.
Let’s see how this works out.
Do I know? Nope, it might work, might not.
If you were previously deterred from going in chat because of boobs pics making you feel uncomfortable, but you like this new approach, then please GET IN THE CHATROOM AND SAY SO.
Thanks.
As a guy I would say if a woman wants to post photos of her breasts then fine. However, I think it’s more than a bit tacky for guys to be posting breast photos.
Michael, as I just said in the chat. So many people have been alienated from the chat and mocked for even asking for this. I highly doubt it will work now as you simply let it go on far too long. Just my opinion though.
I’ve hated it and always have, which is why I was never in chat on Titty Tuesday, or if I was I left when the pics started being posted. I don’t really feel comfortable in chat a lot of the time any more and as you know, I used to be in there a lot as well as hosting live chats for you.
It’s not just the women posting the images to begin with, it’s the guys reposting the images to comment on them over and over, so it becomes an inescapable wall of boobs.
It’s the type of pics that have been shared (especially lately) that have got me as well – I know not everyone’s brand of ABF/ANR is the same and that’s fine, but some of the pics like the ones with two women and one guy or the gifs of bouncing boobs/spraying milk give off more of a porn vibe to me than one that says “come in and chat, you might meet someone interesting”. It can give the impression that all women who go into the chatroom are fair game and should be posting stuff like that. I’ve also seen women given attitude on a number of occasions by the guys who are always around for not wanting to participate or for not liking the atmosphere and it seems to be turned into a big joke.
Puzzles and stuff like that are fine, but they’re in their own designated space that we can visit if we want to and they can be anonymous if we choose to share like that too – I just don’t like it shoved in my face, because funnily enough, I have no interest in anyone else’s boobs….
This isn’t meant to be a character assassination on anyone, just an honest feeling.
Thanks Welshie,
If having “no boobs pics days” proves popular ie. an increase in chatroom engagement on those days, then we can look at making it a total 7-days a week policy.
Will it work? I have no idea.
But the ability to post your boobs in chat is certainly not an important aspect of ABFheaven. However, feeling comfortable when using the chatroom definitely is.
So let’s see.
I appreciate this conversation and would also be more comfortable participating in chat without the wall of boobs on the home page. Agree with Welshie’s position, that there are other places on the site for boobs that we can go to if that’s of interest.
Thank you Michael for trying! I 100% agree with everything Welshie stated! Honestly, I hope there is more engagement as I would love a 7 day a week policy for the chat room! My opinion too is they belong in Profile Media, messages, and the puzzles of course. That way the comments can be made on there and the pics/gifs not reposted over and over with each comment thru the day.
I’d like to adopt Welshie’s take 💯%. I’m new here, but not new to ANR and online dating. I engaged in chat last night for fun, and enjoyed it. BUT it was sass and humor. I wasn’t dodging boob pics and the worshippers.😉😂. If that had been the case…well, I would have kept to myself. So … I’ll see ya’ll Friday-Monday CST!
(Maybe Betty White will join us, maybe he won’t. I hear he sings!!! 🎶🎼🎵🎤. But I also hear he kicks people off the island!!🏝️🏝️🏝️🤣😂😉)
I’m a man and I prefer no public broadcasting of boob pics because of the unintended consequence of the reactions and making women uncomfortable. There are plenty of ways on the site to display. So my suggestion is just say no to such postings in chat to make it a safe place for all.
Interesting and good conversation topic. However, boobs in the chatroom is not the only thing holding people back from chat. Some of the same individuals who are frequent porn type boob posters are heavily in the chatroom and have not been that welcoming to women. Some male, some female.
When I made a general comment in chat that the site was a dating and relationship site (by title) I was attacked and told that this “isn’t a christian singles group”. Didn’t realize the statement had been made right away, as I had signed off, but it was enough that a male member was upset by it and emailed me his concern and support. I’ve not seen that male member on her lately either. I went back and saw the statements, by female and male heavy chat users. Chat does not feel welcoming when those persons are in chat, and that is frequently. Not sure that a F S Su M routine will change that. The personalities are still there. Changing the picture policy may help…..but it may be a broader issue.
@welshie – an incredibly well considered and eloquently expressed post. I stand as a man in total support of your stance
I also commend @kazzie for making the stand that prompted this discussion. Bravery and courage on another level that is. Proud of you Kazzie.
For those that say it’s just a bit of fun, unfortunately you’re rather selfishly, not considering the wider needs for all the women on the site that don’t feel safe, because they’re either disrespected in the chat, or have to face the barrage of disrespectful and degrading messages from some men. This site is after all supposed to be a dating site where I’d guess that the majority of members are really seeking a meaningful connection . Yes some are not and perhaps they should rather use other more appropriate platforms or resources to indulge their desires? A minority should not oppress the desires of the majority by making the environment feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
At the end of the day, we are all here through a mutual interest in breasts. How many times haven’t we heard women say that they want to be seen as more than just a life support system for a pair of breasts? Most want to be seen and heard as more than that and we should all respect that.
It would be extremely interesting and probably revealing to have a stat counter of all those logged into the chat at any one time, but most are lurking. Whatever their reason for lurking is, who knows, but their non-participation should be questioned to find out the reasons.
My personal suggestion to improve the feeling of safety for all in the chat would be to make entry and visibility of the chat discussions, conditional on actually at the very least posting a hello greeting or some other submission. No hello and you can’t even see what is happening in the chat. That would greatly encourage more to engage and make the chat a vibrant place for meaningful discussions.
I don’t think it should descend into the kind of commentary that appears on say Fet. If that’s your deal, go there and do it without causing others discomfort. There’s a place for every kink and fetish there.
If you don’t want to see boobs then maybe joining a “kink” site centered around ABF/ANR wasn’t the best choice. We are proud of our relationship and enjoy sharing our journey as a way to encourage others in theirs. If you don’t like seeing the pics simply keep scrolling. It’s a shame that we’re being “punished” because someone was offended by an off-color comment on our picture.
And there is the rub…. Is this a kink? Many don’t view it that way. And this
site bills itself as a “relationship” and “dating” site. I’m here to find a relationship that involves a lifestyle I want to pursue. If I wanted to explore a kink, I would go to Fet. Am I in the wrong place? Seriously asking.I’m barely active here so take my suggestions with a grain of salt.
What about a stickied forum post for posting and viewing pics? That way no one has to see anything they don’t want to, and it may even drive traffic to the forum, which in my opinion is underutilized.
The downside to this would be the permanence of a forum post compared to the chat room. Not sure if this is a concern for anyone.
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