ABF vs ANR: Is It About the Action or the Relationship?

[Alex]

I think there’s sometimes a misconception in the adult breastfeeding community that ABF and ANR are essentially the same thing, or that ABF is simply a one-off experience while ANR is something long-term.

I see the distinction a little differently.

ABF (Adult Breastfeeding) is an action. ANR (Adult Nursing Relationship) is a relationship.

ABF describes the act of adult breastfeeding itself. It doesn’t automatically imply it to be limited to occasional or one-off sessions. It can be something people practise regularly, whether they’re in an established relationship or not.

ABF is an action or practice, a verb !! Not a description of one off sessions.

ANR, on the other hand, describes an ongoing relationship in which adult nursing is part of a broader emotional, physical or intimate connection between two consenting adults. It often involves continuity, trust, communication and a shared commitment over time.

In simple terms, ABF is something you do; ANR is something you build.

Of course, the two overlap. An ANR will will always involve ABF, but ABF doesn’t necessarily require an ANR.

I think recognising this distinction matters because it allows people to explore adult breastfeeding without assuming that everyone is looking for a long-term relationship, while also recognising that others value the deeper connection an ANR can offer.

What do others think? Is ABF best understood as an action or practice in its own right, with ANR describing the longer-term relationship around it? Or do you see the two concepts differently?

[Author]

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