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A Tour of the Nursing Wards
(A possibly-offensive fantasy story.)
Dr. Valentine was a statuesque platinum blonde, mature yet simultaneously ageless, with piercing ice-blue eyes. I couldn’t help noticing her deep cleavage, which was not at all hidden by her lab coat.
“Hello Dr. Sensitive!, I’m so glad to finally meet!”
“Oh, the pleasure is all mine! I’ve heard so much about your institution.”
“Hopefully good things!” Gesturing, she continued “This is Nurse Minou.”
Nurse Minou was positively pneumatic, and from the two stains on her stiffly-starched white uniform, she was evidently in some distress.
She noticed my glance, and said “Oh, I’m sorry, but I haven’t pumped or nursed for nearly two hours!”
Dr. Valentine bowed slightly to her and said “I apologize for the inconvenience, dear, but I do appreciate you joining us for the tour. Can you manage the slight delay to your normally-strict nursing schedule?”
Beaming, Nurse Minou gushed “Oh, I wouldn’t miss our special guest for anything!”
Turning to business, Dr. Valentine led me to the Institute’s first wing.
“This is our Individual Inducement / Relactation Center, where single clients come to receive assistance in inducing lactation, or for relactation services. So many of our clients wish to have milk for the first time, or perhaps regret allowing their production to drop. This is where we help them!”
A long row of curtained patient areas was revealed. The sounds of gently whirring pumps and what I imagine was dripping and spraying milk emanated from behind. Nurses occasionally dashed about, and I could hear them speak encouraging words to the patients.
“In our next Ward, our Couple’s Therapy Ward, we address the needs of loving couples who wish to experience the deep bond of Adult Nursing.”
This Ward offered a bit more privacy, and sounds were more muted. A nurse walked in, silently leading a glowing couple wearing hospital gowns into one of the cubicles, which contained a comfortably over-sized love-seat and a bed.
“We host couples of all sorts from around the world. We are very proud of our results. We’ve brought so many people closer together, and have helped save many marriages. It’s the best therapy a couple can have, in my opinion.”
“Oh, I agree, and I’d be the first to recommend your services!” I said.
Walking further, Dr. Valentine continued: “Now here we have our – ah – Special Services wing.”
From behind a gap in the curtains, I spied a dark-haired, middle-aged yet somewhat still-boyish man with pasty-white skin and a flabby physique. He was naked except for wearing a thick diaper. A very large woman, looking like a hearty Russian babushka, and possessing breasts of truly staggering size, held the man in her lap as she burped him.
I gasped. “Elon Mus…”
“SHHH!, we take the privacy of our clientele very seriously! Let’s move on…”
I was hustled along, until we reached the last stage of the tour.
“And finally, our Presidential Wing for dignitaries and so on.”
This wing looked less like a hospital ward and more like an expensive club, and was trimmed in dark woods and marble.
“Here we have our most private rooms. We’ve treated the heads of 18 countries! And now that our tour is over, can we offer you anything? Some refreshment, perhaps? Nurse Minou, you don’t mind, do you?”
Nurse Minou excitedly said “Oh, I was so hoping I could!”
Now staring openly at the curvaceous Minou, I could only stammer out “No… no… I don’t mind.”
“Wonderful!” Dr. Valentine said, looking me up and down with a saucy smile. “I’ll be back in an hour to see to your – ah – other needs!”
Fin. 😉
Nice tale with an unexpected twist. Michael, put this gentleman on the writing staff ASAP.
Ha ha! Keep em coming, that was delightfully funny and clever.
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