How to Make a Woman Come…

…and stay.😉

We have a bit of a woman shortage around here. I don’t have the figures, but I doubt anyone’s demanding a recount.

I’ve been here six months, and checking out the site has turned into hanging out with friends 🫶🏻. I’d love more women to feel as at home here as I do. So I thought I’d share what a visit usually looks like for me, and why I keep coming back.

I usually head into chat first. Who’s here? What have I missed? Is anyone behaving, and should we be concerned? We swap jokes, watch movies together, admire each other’s pets and plants, and see what’s cooking. The conversation might wander from the weather to ancient civilizations, astrology, poetry, or music, with holiday pictures and assorted shenanigans along the way. I like never quite knowing what I’m walking into, or how long I’ll end up staying.

Then I check my messages to catch up with friends and carry on conversations. I like hearing from people who remember something we talked about. There’s flirting, too. I haven’t suddenly taken up correspondence for purely scholarly purposes. 😉

But a busy inbox doesn’t necessarily mean a woman is enjoying herself. If every conversation becomes a request, or disappears when she says no, she may get plenty of attention without finding much company.

I enjoy being admired. I also enjoy being listened to. These interests coexist quite happily.

Next, the forum. I love something interesting to read, a good discussion, somewhere to add my two cents. Sometimes considerably more than two. You’ve met me 😂. When someone responds, there’s a conversation to return to, and another person I’m getting to know.

And naturally, I visit 🌶️ chat. Don’t rush me. You knew there’d be sightseeing. 😍

I enjoy looking and sharing when I feel like it. The friendliness and openness helped me get comfortable doing both. If you enjoy someone’s picture, a heart or a kind comment is appreciated. It needn’t become an opening bid for more. And if she says no, spare her the appeals process.

That comfort depends on how women treat each other, too. Sometimes the judgment comes from women who wouldn’t appreciate being judged themselves. Phrases like,

“She certainly likes attention.”

Yes, darling. So do I. You’re several paragraphs into mine.

We ask for it differently. Another woman sharing more or flirting more openly than you would isn’t a reason to get snide. Let her enjoy herself. She might be feeling brave for the first time in months, years…ever!

I’m fairly comfortable joining in and blocking someone who becomes a nuisance. Other women find it harder, or simply don’t want the hassle. Ladies, you’re allowed to end an unpleasant conversation. No closing statement required. 🛑

Still, I’d rather we gave women less bullshit to deal with in the first place. Listen when someone says she’s uncomfortable. Don’t laugh along with a friend who’s being pushy. And make room for someone new…answer her, ask her something, notice what she contributes.

Women are central to this place. If we want more of us here, it matters whether we’re having a good time.

For me, the pleasure is in all of it. I can admire your pictures and care about your dog. Those everyday exchanges turned strangers into people I look forward to seeing.

I still enjoy seeing what’s been posted. But these days, it’s who’s around that keeps me here. I’d love more women to feel that same pleasure in checking in.

Ladies, what keeps you coming back—and what would make being here more enjoyable?