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A couple of local-ish women have contacted me and expressed interest but then disappeared, as in not logging back on since then. You’d think they might be expecting a response and would at least want to see what I had to say, but apparently not. It’s not like they’re still active on the site and ignoring me. Wassup wit’ dat?
Have had similar experiences, been in contact with several ladies here, and after a few weeks they just disappeared. I guess they got more attention then they wanted and just lost interest. That’s all i can think of
Unfortunately, it’s pretty common for both men & women to be ghosted. Sometimes they find a partner, have a better connection with someone else, or they give up. It’s definitely frustrating. Finding a partner takes a lot of time, effort, & is a lot of work for sure.
A lot of people act on a sudden mood or curiosity, message a local profile, and then immediately get spooked by the reality of it and log off.
It really comes down to having no actual plan to meet in the real world. In normal dating, people meet for a coffee, share a hug or a kiss, and use that physical spark to see if building an actual relationship even makes sense.
Putting the cart before the horse by trying to build an entire ANR through weeks of pen pal messages just builds pressure and paranoia.
If people want real results here, the answer is simple. Have a plan, meet briefly in a public space to confirm safety and vibe, and stop hiding behind the keyboard.
Very well said. I’m all for meeting for coffee or drinks just to see if there’s any attraction. I think you’ve got to LIKE the person you’re interacting with. Your “spooked” theory might apply here …
I talked to someone nearby me and then suddenly they blocked me.Still don’t know why. They seemed very excited to meet and I said I would be open to it, so I can only guess they wanted me to be immediately more excited or were looking more for sex or something.
You have to balance being clear in interest and intentions without spooking people (men included), since some people are new to ABF and still becoming comfortable with it and just meeting strangers in general can be unnerving.
Don’t take it personally. A ghoster has personal issues or a situation that isn’t compatible with you or likely anyone. It’s abrupt and a bit inconsiderate, but it saves you time so you can focus on finding your unicorn. I take issue with scheduling a meet and then not showing up and ghosting, but even that’s the best outcome to dodge that bullet.
Even though it may be not personal, i think when messaging has started you can at least have some consideration and say goodbye properly.
No one is entitled to a reaction thiugh. When its a first message from you, they dont owe you anthing.
I ignore first messages like: hi or hru and all inapprpriate ones.
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