Having this desire as a younger person: Reflections

Hi! New to the forum here but I’ve been exploring and researching ABF for years. At the ripe age of 20, I’m a college male with this desire.

I have to say, as a young guy, the weight of this fantasy/style of showing affection and intimacy is very heavy on the mind. My story is rather mundane of what got me into it. As a kid, maybe 8 years old, I remember going to visit family out of town for thanksgiving and playing soccer in the basement with my cousins. Someone airmailed the ball and I went to fetch it. I found it rolled up on a box labeled “breast pump”. I took the ball and went to go play again but that snapshot was seared into my brain and I was curious as to what it was. About a year later, I watched my aunt breastfeed my infant cousin. I was curious and now that I had a computer with internet access, I remembered that memory of the box. I searched it on YouTube (back in the day where you could find softcore porn on there) and found a video of a woman using it. I found the fact these women in the videos produced milk interesting.

I hit puberty not long later after that and those memories and curiosities began to morph. They suddenly had tons of substance and aroused feelings and urges I didn’t know I had. They had a glow to them if that makes sense. I found my way to pornography like any teen where I got to watch these curiosities of mine play out with other adults.

By high school, I knew I had this fantasy. It made me insecure, gave me thoughts that no one was out there for me, and my struggles with dating alone only grew negative thoughts that I would never be intimately satisfied. That and other issues made me a quirky, socially awkward, depressed teen. I worried even if I found someone that they would judge me for it; assume I’m into something far from the truth like mommy domme/age play.

I kind of grew into my shell later. I developed other hobbies that weren’t just chronically shucking the corn. I got a lot more self-confidence and figured out how to step into challenges with authority. At 18, I got in an LTR with a great woman who accepted me for my ABF fantasy and indulged me in it. Her passion for it wasn’t the same as mine and she didn’t want to induce. We’re no longer together for unrelated reasons but I’m not panicked that I won’t find somebody.

The desire for ABF crosses my mind daily. Anything can trigger it, even seeing the cleavage of a woman going about her day. Sometimes, I criticize myself for it. I tell myself I should be trying to get laid more just casually and purely vanilla before I think about other kinks. Other times, I find myself searching for perhaps a casual ABF relationship and maybe a chance to see what it’s like to drink from the source.

What I always settle back on is to not overthink it. I try to boil it down to a simple thing. Girls my age know guys are into either boobs or asses. If I meet someone who’s into me, what red flag or objection is raised in the fact that I want to suck on their boob for a little bit?

I think women’s sexuality is kind of different from men’s and to not be misogynistic, most women want the man to take the lead in the bedroom, even during a casual affair for the most part. Especially in an LTR, this can be applied to fantasies and kinks. Many women I’ve noticed in general have a CNC, domination kink and being “forced” to do things and ultimately follow their man’s lead turns them on. It seems, to put it bluntly, sinking them slowly into your sexuality gives them a sense of duty and fulfillment but they also enjoy exploring it like any 2 partners that care for each other.

The same can apply to ANR. I remember my ex being hesitant at first but as I guided her slowly into it, she loved our long suckle sessions. That process alone was only about a 2.5 month period from the first suckle to her orgasming from my feeding alone and then her falling asleep with her hands still in my hair. Later catching her masturbating to lactation porn only made me feel more accepted and appreciated. It was a great spice to throw in the bedroom.

Women, the same goes for you. If your guy objects to sucking on your beautiful tits, go find someone else. It’s silly someone would object to something like that easy to request.

Anyways, I made this post for you younger people my age out there. Yes, other people like you exist and no, you should never be judged for it. Patience. Patience, young padawan.