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I’m meeting someone who is lactating this weekend for an ANR meet. She’s quite open that she has unprotected sex very regularly (2-3 times a week) with new men. And even if she gets tested regularly, as far as I understand STIs take potentially 30+ days to show up positive in an test, so even if she tested a few weeks ago that doesn’t cover whether she’d have anything from her last couple months of encounters.
Presumably this is therefore somewhat dangerous on my part, in that there would be a heightened chance of catching an STI? I love ABF but not enough to get a lifelong STI…
Edit to add: She says she’s never had an STI test before, but her recent blood test last week was clear (they test for hiv, hepatitis b and syphilis)
I would pass on that meeting if it was me, tbh.
I test myself regularly for STIs and I rarely allow myself unprotected sex, and it doesn’t even happen often as I rarely take my dating to that stage and it has to be part of relationship, if so. And still, one should worry about it. I just did my last one a week ago, in case someone asked me for it, and it included hiv, syphilis, gonorrhea, hep C I think (I was tested on all hepatitis infections few months ago and gotten vaccines as I had no antibodies so never had it, but you got to have a protection), vaginosis/bacterial tests – that is a swab women do around their cervix to test for cultures and what they might have there (you can compare after sex with someone quite quickly, especially if any infection starts), and can’t remember what else was there, but I think one more test.
You seriously can’t expect her to be celibate for a month or two, so in this case, simply pass. It is safer this way instead of risking.
Ultimately, it is up to you. If you only wanted ABF and no sex, check what pass through breastmilk only and make sure you don’t exchange any other fluids with her. But, I suppose you wanted more that abf, then you need to decide how far you wanna go. You probably know already what you should do. And also, test yourself before meeting someone, even if you have no symptoms because men rarely have any symptoms. Then you will know what you got from her, that is if you were negative for all STIs.
I figured as much, thank you. I’m not sure what can be passed via breast milk but we do have the option of passing on the sex side of the meet. I would assume most STIs are transmittable given the exchange of bodily fluids (though I’m no doctor). Not sure if her blood test last week showing negative for hiv, hepatitis b and syphilis is reassuring or not).
https://www.stdlabs.com/blog-detail/can-std-pass-through-breastfeeding
This is why there are so few potential partners on these websites.
Are there really that many people here with STIs?
Not sure what to say about this. If someone’s having multiple unprotected encounters a week, with multiple, new partners, the odds aren’t exactly in your favor.
For what it’s worth, she says she’s had 16 partners, so not the level of unprotected sex she was previously suggesting (just 2-3 new people over the last couple weeks). Still unprotected though, so the danger is still there. I think I’m leaning towards holding off until she’s done a full panel test.
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