Esther Perel, the renowned psychotherapist and sexologist, often highlights how modern relationships are more challenging due to the erosion of community ties. In previous generations, couples were embedded in tight-knit communities where everyone was aware of each other’s struggles, including marital issues, infidelity, or relationship breakdowns. This shared knowledge allowed couples to feel a sense of belonging and solidarity. They could witness how others navigated similar challenges, gaining insight or support from the way conflicts were managed around them. The community acted as an informal guide, offering both moral lessons and a sense of shared experience, which helped couples identify with, and relate to, each other’s issues.
Today, however, in this video Perel points out that today’s relationships are really challenging as we have lost much of that community feeling that past generations experienced, moving from tight structures to lose end networks. We live more isolated lives, disconnected from our neighbours, and unaware of the struggles or dynamics behind other couples’ closed doors. This lack of visibility creates a sense of detachment, making couples feel as though their problems are unique, more insurmountable, and less relatable. Without that external validation or example, there is more pressure on the relationship itself to fulfil all needs, leading to heightened expectations and strain. This isolation intensifies the emotional load of modern relationships, as there is no broader community to provide emotional support, guidance, or perspective on the natural ups and downs that all couples experience.
While I haven’t been at ABF Heaven long, I’ve noticed a strong sense of community, which is what has made me stay. I’ve not only observed meaningful discussions during live audio chats, but I’ve also experienced them firsthand through private conversations and messages with many of you. This sense of connection is powerful and sets this platform apart, as it supports all of us in our shared journey to find love and build healthy relationships.Discussing personal issues, particularly those related to relationships, is often difficult—especially for men—but sharing can be incredibly beneficial. It creates a space where we can improve our personal lives together. In particular, ABF/ANR (Adult Breastfeeding/Adult Nursing Relationships) fosters not only a physical bond, but also something that’s becoming rare in today’s world: real communication between partners.In fact, anthropologists have uncovered fascinating insights about the role of communication in human relationships, particularly around the practice of breastfeeding and breast-related intimacy. It appears that this form of interaction played a pivotal role in fostering collaboration between men and women in prehistoric societies. Even today, in what some might refer to as “less civilized” or more isolated communities where adult lactation is still practiced, researchers have identified what they term the “speech of the breast.” This form of communication involves a deep, non-verbal connection between partners, reinforcing bonds in ways modern societies may have forgotten.
What’s intriguing is how this lost art of communication might hold the key to stronger relationships today. In our modern world, where open communication in relationships is often stifled or overlooked, such intimate exchanges—both physical and emotional—are becoming rare. As anthropological studies suggest, this ancient form of connection might offer valuable lessons for contemporary couples, raising the question: are we, with all our advancements, truly more “civilised” if we’ve lost one of the most fundamental aspects of intimate human communication?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s have a discussion on this on my next live audio on Wednesday but please, if this resonates, do leave a comment below, as it can help all of us, regardless of whether or not ABF/AR is part of our lives.
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Elayne (Sophia Unveiled)
Just wanted to share what ANR is to me as a man. It is more than just desire and gratification. If you let it, it will be a deep connection with your feelings and a transformation into happiness. It really can be an introduction to a state of meditation. You might be more used to meditation as for instance transforming noise into silence. And my personal meditation transforming thoughts into colors and designs. If you let it, it will transform your feelings into happiness.
This might be the most beautiful statement about personal ANR experience I’ve ever heard from a man. With your permission, I might pull this into a post for the Articles blog. Thank you for sharing!
Well thank you you are welcome use it as you like.
This is so nice to read Treasure Chest and Nipple Wizard, thank you both for crossing paths with me and agree with you Treasure Chest. Him and NB are such an inspiring couple…Love to all of you xxx
I really appreciate this and hope Vegas went well, my regards to your lovely lady Nurturing Bosom. I wanted to log in last night to the audio but have a talk myself today and was unwell, so needed to be rested as much as possible. I think what you are sharing is beautiful but you also have to approach ABF/ANR for more than just the fetish component and I am sad to say many of the men that I have interacted with here as shared in our call with you both, simply are just not interested in anything else than just getting off. It’s sad…really sad, but I know not all men are like this and some I’ve had great conversations with as yourself. I hope that in time they can appreciate all it brings, this is why I wanted to do the blog, to put the soul back into it as many do not even give it a second thought but also show its origins and why it is so important.
Wishing you both a great weekend x