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I’m curious what that word means when it is put in a profile. What topics are “chat” topics and what kind(s) of conversations are you wanting when chatting?
Chat is a catch-all I suppose. I’ve chatted with members about their ABF desires or preferences to better understand how members enjoy ABF plus to see if there’s alignment in thinking. But chat has also covered non ABF subjects, perhaps related to areas we live, aspects in our profiles that align, an outlook or interest perhaps.
To me, chat means to continue to carry on a conversation. The topic can be a multiple of things, but I think basically to learn more about each other to see if there is an initial connection. Obviously at some point, ANR/ABF would be included in the “chat”. Hopefully a closer connection to meet in person would be discussed. But initial “chatting” or communicating back and forth would be a good way to find out if anything further should take place.
For me: I try to start a chat with a topic mentioned in the other person’s profile (i.e. an interest.) Then, we see where it goes. “Read the room” comes to mind.
Really depends on the situation it’s used in. If a profile has little info or doesn’t state it’s looking for a long term, I generally view it in a negative way. What’s your bra size, how big your nips, sexual innuendo, etc etc has been my experience (usually). It’s somewhat of a red flag. But not always. Its the substance in the profile that gives chat a different connotation. And sometimes that’s misleading too. Like finding out someone’s married, ot lying about what they do, or what they really want is a is a suckle buddy/fwb when it is written looking for ANR.
What topics are “chat” topics and what kind(s) of conversations are you wanting when chatting?
I’ll add that I want to see who you are and what the person is about. Interests, hobbies, can they converse intelligently, do they have humor? I’m a big one for fun bantering.
For me chatting is getting to know someone better.Its a first connection towards forming a friendship.We can see what we both would like for our journey and see if we click and are looking for the same things.
Again there should be no pressure on either party regarding how long this chatting should go on.
I have had some pressure after about a week of chatting to move on & meet up.
This has recently actually caused me anxiety and I don’t want to feel that.
When this has happened I have been honest but on some occasions the reaction regarding this has not been positive.@ginnym – I’m so sorry you’ve had that experience. I had a guy send me into a panic attack from here just yesterday that I had to block. All I had said was “Hi! We’re local!” and immediately wanted pics, to chat on KiK, meet up for lunch/coffee, and it was too much. I hadn’t even said more than 10 words to him. When I asked him to slow down, he pushed to meet again, to which I said I was uncomfortable, sorry I had reached out and wished him luck. I am a skittish person over all and that was just way too much.
I hope you have better experiences. ❤️
Foxygodess.
Thank you 💗 just read your profile and I really love it.
Thank you for your kind words.@grogman love your comments 😂🤣
Chatting, for me, means, I want to find out more about you. What you like, what you don’t, what caught your interest that day, your thoughts on a topic or subject, things that help flesh you out as a human and let me see who you are.
When I see it on a site of all mutual interests, it seems rather redundant and useless to talk about the mutual interest that brought us into contact. I assume we both share sinilar ideas and wants and those that are different will be discussed once a comfort level has been reached. When on a general site, I don’t mind basic funneling questions to determine interest, but I would also hope the person spent some time reading my profile, my posts, etc before reaching out to me. That would help negate a lot of “answering the same questions” over and over again that I often feel like I’m repeating.
When I see a guy say they would like to chat, I read this in two ways:
1) he wants to ask all those questions about my sexual tastes that are all over my profile and posts; or,
2) he really wants to sext.
#1 simply tells me the guy invested no time before messaging me to find out about me and probably scattershot a message to see who would bite and I don’t need to respond.
#2 is fine, but please, just say that. It feels deceptive to be messaged only to discover all he wants is to sext. Let me make the decision if I want to engage in that or not. Otherwise, you are manipulating a conversation I, or others, never wanted to have and wouldn’t have consented to if it had been stated up front.
I like chatting, even if it is just a “Hey! How was your day?” It’s that wanting to truly know and asking without the sexual context that always stands out to me and makes me want to “chat” more. And yes, that kind of “chatting” can take months. If you can’t wait it out, then I’m not the one for you.
Chat = bs to me.
Especially when it starts with “how are you?”.
That will never get me to “chat”.I don’t understand why someone would say, “How are you?” As a first introduction to someone they have not “chatted” with before and do not know. It tells me two things. One is that they have not formed a thought about you based on reading your profile or they didn’t read your profile. The second is that they have no social skills. I wouldn’t walk up to a stranger, shake thier hand, and ask them how they are.Thsts just weird.
As far as as chat goes, I’m assuming it means to converse with each other. But as FG said, it doesn’t seem like some men understand or know how to conversate. Maybe women too, I don’t know. But the women I’ve chatted with on here have been fine conversationalists.
I would assume that the topic of nursing would come up eventually, naturally. If it’s just sex talk and nursing talk right away, ie, what they can get from you. Then I’m out.
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