What does “Chat” mean to you?

[Anonymous]

For clarification, my thoughts on “How are you?” is not something I answer if I’ve never spoken to that person before. That is something later when there has been a comfort level established. I often ask my friends how they are because I genuinely want to know and not to make small talk.

I asked this because I wondered if my definition of “chat” has changed to mean, “sex talk first, getting to know you after, maybe”. I want to make sure I’m not being unreasonable in my desire to find a friend first, then move on to the ANR side. I prefer that linear direction over, “Let me ask you all the breast related questions in “chat format” first, then actually ask about you as a person.” I find it is easy to find a sexual compatability with someone who shares my similar interests, but that who they are as a person makes that compatability undesirable. For me, getting to discover that is more important than sexual compatability.

[Anonymous]

@foxgoddess I very rarely reply to hi, how are you, how’s it going, what’s up. They are messages that 99.9% of the time lead to nowhere. I’ve have better shit to do, I’m not entertaining anyone. I have had some pretty great and in depth conversations with random people online and in person. Some people will put effort into a conversation and others want something for nothing.

[Kyle]

Thanks to Grogman for laughs 🙂 and thanks to ladies who have shared alternative perspectives on attempts to make conversation.

I previously asked anyone “how are you” hoping to hear something the person really needed or wanted to vent about, whether happily, in sorrow, or angrily, in order to initially conversationally supply something useful in a loving fashion by listening and showing the person that I provide a safe space to share and secondly enjoy the company of someone who feels heard and understood. To me and several authors, it can sometimes be easier to emotionally charged matters which await processing with a stranger. I have learned that many people seem uncomfortable to share openly before some small talk.

I used to feel shooting the breeze was a waste of valuable social time before I recognized small talk’s role in providing calming comfort and security. Chat could be remarks about the weather to musings about existence. There’s an apparently universal implication of a casual nature when the word chat is used, hence perhaps the reason for its popularity: “I want to invite her into easy conversation so I’ll suggest a chat.” It seems to be a short and sweet way to propose something to easy to refuse in a way that stays cool.

[Author]

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