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I see a lot of guys asking this question and a few women answer here and there, but what criteria are women really lookong for?
I’ll go first:
1) I’m okay with 6 hrs away from me, even though I live closeish to a metro area. Meeting half way can be a nice get away.
2) Age. I am not looking for someone less than 8 years younger than me.
3) *A lot* more in common than ANR,especially if wanting an LTR. I learn about at least 6 new topics a week on everything from philosophy to military history. You are gonna have to have more to talk about than my boobs.
4) A fun, light hearted personality. I’m already serious enough for 10 people.
5) Something more than sex. I’m okay with a FWB situation, of that’s all you want, but I’m not going to make myself available just because. If I can’t hang with you for coffee or a casual dinner, we won’t be good FWB. I’m also asexual so while being suckled does promote arousal, I don’t always want sex.
6) Just be you. I don’t need to be impressed with your skills, history, etc with ANR.
7) Tell me what you can do for me, not what I can do for you. I’m as interested in my personal fulfillment and needs as you are in yours. I’m more interested in what I be getting out of the arrangement than what I can do for you.
8) Women have to be concerned about safety!!!! ALL THE FRIGGEN TIME!!! If you come off as even slightly creepy, you aren’t a safe person to me. Think about how you would behave in the same situation and act accordingly to show you aren’t a creeper, rapist or serial killer. I will always put my personal safety over ANR. No exceptions.
9) Remember: a lot of women, myself included, don’t like being treated like a commodity (ie: a pair of breasts), so please don’t talk like that’s all I have to offer. No one likes being degraded to a body part for usage.
That’s my criteria. Hopefully other women will post their own.
👏👏👏👏👏
Excellent. This should be a format in one’s “about me” write up or create a BIO section. Helps break the ice and reduce unwanted attempts by others if personal wants / guidelines are there.
Well said foxygodess!!!
I agree 💯To all my haters here and other sites, ones who post about me ghosting them blah blah blah
👆 read what she wrote!!
🦋
100% agree with this. Also just because someone lives local doesnt guarantee anything with me either. I need a connection and friendship first.
I would like to say something about points 6, 7 and 9, if I may.
6) Sometimes I feel like I cannot be myself. I have to be what a partner needs me to be. If a person needs to feel secure and sheltered I cannot show that I am shy, insecure and vulnerable myself, because otherwise I won’t be able to give that person what they need.
7) I totally agree with you there, but I also believe that for many men and women (myself included) the needs of their partners come before their own. Sometimes being able to bring pleasure to someone else is a reward in itself. That being said, many people don’t know what they want. I believe it is also our job to help our partners find what they like and what they don’t like.
9) I understand that perfectly. However, sometimes I have the impression that praising the female body is seen as some sort of objectification. I am saying this because one of my recent statements on the chat, where I have praised women for their body, was being criticized. Of course your mind is much more important than your body, of course a smile or a spark in your eyes can count way more than an inanimate pair of breast, but the problem is that I don’t know you yet… and if I am on this site, it means that breasts and their ability to produce milk hold a great importance for me and I want you to know that, so that you may feel proud of your body and your femininity.
On your point 9, I was the one who you claim criticed you.
What you said was in chat basically was this:
All you gents are super nice people! Keep it up! Women, you all are a bunch of beautiful breasts!
When I said I’d rather be liked for my mind, your reply was:
I don’t know your mind.
But somehow, you knew that every guy on this site was a “nice guy”, which basically means you somehow know the mind of every guy here.
Then, you reduce every woman to a single body part. And instead of apologizing and recognizing your error, you popped off with “I don’t know your mind.”
You follow that lack of understanding that woman aren’t just breasts with this statement in your post:
and if I am on this site, it means that breasts and their ability to produce milk hold a great importance for me and I want you to know that, so that you may feel proud of your body and your femininity.
You should be here to get to know people, not get to know a pair of breasts first. You kinda show your true self here.
Women are people. You need to know the person usually before you get access to the fun parts. When you reduce women down to their breasts, you dehumanize them, especially when you’ve just praised men for being decent people, then women for being a pair of breasts.
If you are going to quote me, at least be nice to quote my exact words, which differ greatly from what you are writing, which is quite slandering.
What I wrote is the following:
To all ladies: Know that you are very special to us men. Your bodies have the ability to give life and to nourish. That makes you very, very cool and sexy! Thank you
In my opinion this is a praise of femininity, not an objectification. When did I EVER say that you are only breasts? Moreover, I told you that “to like your mind, I need to know your mind first” and that doesn’t apply just to you but to everyone, also men. I praised the men on this site because I haven’t seen any insults or any mean stuff on any post on ABFHeaven and trust me, I have seen many disrespectful comments by men on other sites.
This site is not a site for people who are trying to find a dancing-partner or someone to play tennis with, this is a site that revolves around breastfeeding. I personally don’t have any breast. I cannot give to others the same thing a woman can. THAT is why I wrote that comment. We can both be intelligent, we can both be funny, but we CANNOT both feed our partners.
You kinda show your true self here.
Tell me, what is my true self? Who am I? If you can answer that, I would truly be thankful to you.
But..it isn’t and your whole comment above says you only care about women because they have breasts. You quoting your actual quote didn’t help your position.
And yes, it IS a “dating and relationship” site. Says so right below the site name, which means you are here to date people, not a pair of breasts.
Also, yes, you totally can feed someone with your breasts! Men have the ability to lactate. Look it up! You have the same gear and guys totally have.
Despite what you think is praise and a compliment, it’s really objectifcation of women.
Tell me, what is my true self? Who am I? If you can answer that, I would truly be thankful to you.
I have, several times, but you don’t want to hear it. You don’t want a partner, you want a pair of breasts. Breasts first, connection second.
I wish you luck in finding them, but your blindness to your own words and intentions will hurt you more than it will anyone else.
Can we go back to making this about what women are wanting in ANR/ABF now?
I’m going to add another thing:
10) When I say I don’t like an action or behavior, I expect it to be respected, not argued about or having to dodge attempts from guys explaining why I’m wrong in my thinking. I know me better than anyone else. I know my boundaries.
Damn! I was really hoping to gain better insight into the female psyche. Reading patronizing replies from men wasn’t what I had in mind.
Please women of ABFHeaven give us the information to help us from being complete “Jack Wagons”.
Thank you very much.🤗🤗-Be yourself
-Don’t be overly pushy
-Don’t treat women like a commodity
-Be respectful
-Try to get to know them
-Be clear about what you want are looking for
-Don’t be shady about marital status
-As a guy what’s with the D pics
-Try to be genuine about intentions.This sums it up pretty well! At least for me! 🙂
Excellent advice. One thing to be aware of. There WILL BE “NO’s” from ladies who are asked. If you are a person that cannot handle rejection, you need to figure something out. It happens. As mentioned before, don’t be pushy. Get to know people, stay in contact, be there for advice. Things might work out better instead of being too pushy….
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