- This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Jessa had a similar post on the 5th, but I didn’t want to hijack her excellent discussion of mental seduction, for my related observation that most seekers on this site don’t understand how connection works. A large percentage of ads of all sexes say they are looking for connection. But where people differ, I think, is in how they define what connection is.
Is connection happy tingles and goosebumps at a face pic? A surge of interest at measurements and production capabilities? The fortuitous discovery of geographic proximity? A warm flush at similar sexual urges/desires?
I would argue that none of that is “connection.” It’s the beginnings of lust, which yes, can lead to that all important connection, and for a lot of us, lust is a necessary component of connection, but it’s not the whole thing. Lust alone is great for one-offs and hookups and FWBs, but if you say you want connection and something serious, connection implies MORE than lust alone.
So how do you find connection on here? A great deal of people seem to think it’s through naughty pictures, descriptions of hardness and measurements therein, a mad dash towards cyber and sext and hoping orgasmic flush and happy hormones do the work of connection.
And perhaps for some that works, but if you’re having trouble CONNECTING, allow me to gently suggest, as Jessa did in the seduction post, that you think beyond those butterflies and flutters at the first pic exchange or the excitement at being in the same city and really try to CONNECT–find areas of common interests beyond the obvious reason we’re all on this site.
So how can you show you truly value connection with someone? I can’t speak for everyone, but the right ANR for me will want to know ME–my hopes, my dreams, my favorite books, movies I might like to cuddle and nurse to, foods I love eating and cooking, things I like to do when my bra is on, things I like to talk about, things I like in other people, deal breakers for me, where I want to be in five years, ten years. Who I want to become. Who I’m looking for. If you’re nipple drunk or ta-ta blinded, you can still seek connection: where do I dream about nursing? How often? What times of day? What do I like in the connection (there’s that word again!) and what makes me feel more connected during? Less? what takes me out of the moment? What ramps it up? What would we do when your mouth and my nipple needs a break?
Ask questions. Paint me a picture. SEEK. Connection is SOUGHT. CREATED. DISCOVERED. It doesn’t simply exist or pop up ready to go (unlike some body parts). You have to nurture it. Work for it. Show up for it.
I think a lot of times we all (and yes I include myself in this) get so weary of the search. We just want to find that one “connection.” We want to get to the good stuff! The nursing! Now now now! But if you don’t take time to build the connection you seek, how will you know if you have it? Thus this post is my plea to you, if you say you want connection, ACTUALLY want connection. Work to find it. How do you define connection?
There isn’t just a one size fits all connection. Some are strong, some are weak. Some are long term others are short. Becoming chat buddies. Becoming friends. These are examples of connections. Getting to know someone and wanting to know more about them is the connection I desire. Having that random fond stray thought about somebody seems to be a good indication that a “connection” has been made. That’s my three cents worth.😜
I love this post, amazing message. Well done! Third-to-last paragraph is spot-on. I hope more people read this post, and it helps some folks in this community.
Love this post! And hijack anything I got! We think very similar according to what you wrote.
As Grog wrote, there are different levels of connection & goals in finding connection. Personally, I think a huge component is finding someone I have compatibility with (goals, likes/dislikes), frame of mind, habits, etc etc). These are hugely important to me, bc I’m not only searching for an ANR, I’m searching for a life partner, I want love, getting old together rocking on the front porch together. The connection for me is an intimacy of the mind. Takes a ton of talking and finding out about eachother. To share my breasts, I need that intimate symbiosis. The warm embers as well as the hat burning fire. It truly comes by way of knowing each others mind.
Phenomenal post and looking forward to more!
This is so elegantly and beautifully put… I really enjoy how you captured that the seeking of connection, like the pursuit of love itself, is something that requires intent and effort, and is not just a meeting of the fates or all the planets aligning correctly. A post that those without your talent for expression could point to and say, “This. This is what I want.” Kudos on your ability to connect with others in the community through writing, I believe your goal of that is well met😊. Best of luck on your search, may your words reach the head and heart of someone worthy of a relationship with you ❤️
Hi all,
Thanks Pink, I think that we need to see beyond the physical looks for the inner core character of a person. They do show themselves in subtle ways in conversations and by their behavior. Again observing is just to inform ourselves as to whether that is a connection or not. Men and women are just generally becoming understandably wary and weary 😮💨 by the search 🔦. So what starts out as a good connection might slowly lead to nowhere because one side or the other might stop investing time and energy. But genuineness of a person comes across in many ways and it ultimately comes back to where you want to invest time and energy. It’s ultimately all about choices we make everyday. Just having great breasts doesn’t mean that I am a great person, it’s all about my character and inner beauty which should shine through no matter what, because if someone chooses me because of physical appearance, it is something that would wane away in a few years. But if you look at the inner person then that would remain the same no matter how they portray themselves outwardly.
Nice post and very thought provoking thread.
As many have said, connecting with someone does require investing time amd willingness to know each other.
You can connect with people on different levels. But first step is good communication, as we may be far away. Physical liking comes next. And then inclusion in our life.
ANR is very intimate relationship, so it does require physical and emotional connection. For any relationship to last long, we need to take interest in each other’s life. Good relationship helps you to move forward in every aspect of your life.
Biggest test is, if it brings in positivity in your life.Excellent post and good replies.
I’ve always found the hookup ads, the contacts from married or attached men, and the search for “drive bys” to be sadly missing the whole point of abf and anr. It IS all about connection, which is a slow start and build. There are porn sites for those seeking short term self-fulfillment; this is a dating and relationship site.
I wish everyone seriously searching for that connection to find it, whether as friends or eventually more.Thank you Pink_Milkmaid,
Thank you for reminding me about how to go about what I want to find. It is easy to become distracted when there is boob craze in the air. It’s easy to feel flattered by someone who sees something attractive in us. But as you say the physical attraction is just a start. If it doesn’t branch out to include more it will ultimately die out in an online sexual fantasy, a one off meeting or disinterest from one or both parties that don’t feel seen. This is one of the best posts I have read. One that is certainly a good reminder for me as to how to maintain my focus on what is important.
What a great post and thread 💯 Thanks all. I can always tell if a man is interested in me or my breasts, by how they conduct themselves. The ones that want to talk about anr right away tell me what’s important to them. If you just need breasts, then hire an escort. ❤️😘
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.