Story about my Lactophilia and my first ABF meeting

[Gently_hm]

Part 1.

( Background Music – IDLES Discography )

Where do i start…

My lactophilia started as mazophilia, for as long as I can remember, I have loved women’s breasts; it doesn’t matter how big or how it looks. When I was a teenager, I always sneakily went out to watch TV in the evening on weekends, because then there were only those certain erotic French movies in which women made love to each other beautifully and I loved watching them suck each other’s breasts. Later, when I was already dating girls, I really liked to play with their breasts, carefully slide my hands under their bras and twist their nipples, feel their soft skin and caress their areolas with my fingertips. At that time, I didn’t know that I would become not only a mazophile, but something else…

At the age of 15-16, I got my first computer and with it I also got the Internet. I speak about a young guy, so of course I started secretly watching adult content as well. Once came across a video where a woman squirted breast milk onto another woman, into the woman’s mouth and started breastfeeding a little bit.

” – I was immediately excited, I was interested in it, I want to try it!”

We’re still talking about a 15-16-year-old boy, so it was an impossible and unattainable thing for me. I have started watching such content, taking an interest in the matter, and reading forums.
That’s when an era officially started for me… I found the “PLVR” forum in 2007.

( PLVR means: Pregnant, Lactation and Video Reviews )

Everything related to lactophilia was found on this forum: experience reports, uploaded pictures or videos, advice on how to induce milk and, of course, pregnancy content, which I was not that interested in…even now…( although I note that pregnant women are incredibly beautiful ).
I spent days, months and years on this forum. Many of us became friends and I am still in touch with 2-3 people. We shared links about lactating / ABF content, and later the older people told us about their first ABF, now I confess and accept it, but we traded these contents among ourselves….
After a while, pleasure and masturbation passed to such a state that I no longer touched myself, but simply saw the beauty in women with breast milk and adult breastfeeding..like an art.
Over time, these amateur contents became less, even though women already produced unique / custom contents ( Manyvids, Clips4Sale ) and after a while, lactating women from webcam sites arrived in their place…

…a new era has begun!

— TO BE CONTINUED! —

[Gently_hm]

Part 2.

( Background Music – Emmure Discography )

I don’t think I need to introduce the following sites: Chaturbate, Myfreecams, Streamate, Cam4…etc…

( I’m not going to write about the livejasmin page directly here, because I don’t know if you know, but the head of the page is hungarian, so it can be expected that breast milk / lactation was banned from the beginning, the presentation of ABF in public… yes, this is the fucking country, where I also live. )

At that time, there were no Onlyfans or Fansly, so the adult industry was leaning in that direction, but it was already noticeable that less content was created for the previously mentioned sites. It is completely understandable: you get closer to your followers, there are more interactions, for which you pay approx. you immediately “get it”… ( see nowadays how many YouTubers became streamers or completely moved to that platform after the appearance of Twitch ).

Let’s go back to the PLVR forum…

Since there was less content on MV and C4S, as well as other content producing sites, we also moved to these cam sites. The topics on the forum have changed. We no longer linked to each other videos or pictures on the subject of lactation, but links of cam models who were pregnant, mothers or simply had milk.
How big are her breasts, how much breast milk is squirted during a broadcast, did she breastfeed another man or woman on live… these topics were discussed in addition to sharing cam model links. Certain ladies have already literally developed fans on the PLVR page, in fact, there were ladies who registered on the forum and talked to us.
In addition to these, of course, another illegal file sharing and trading has developed, where we exchanged private content with each other. Needless to say, the private shows were the best, because that’s where the roughest stuff happened.
I will give you an example:
I found a very nice and beautiful blonde Ukrainian cam lady with nice milky breasts with light pink nipples and areola. I started every conversation with these women kindly. How are you, you are so beautiful…etc..In the meantime, I looked up her name to see what shows she was on ( since there were already sites where snapshots of previous shows were uploaded, so you knew what to expect ) and I saw that she was always alone.
Out of curiosity, I asked what she thought about adult breastfeeding and her answer surprised me!

-Okay with that, if you want, we can go to a paid Skype show, where I will call my sister and breastfeed her…

I was completely shocked by her answer…”Where did this thing go? Is this already sick?” Meanwhile, I confess, but I was curious about it. “Will you really do it?”
I paid for it and the show happened. She actually called a lady in and breastfed her. She nursed her breasts beautifully, swallowed and did not spit out the milk.
I have already recorded and sold the next three shows to others. These are the videos that some treacherous bastard uploaded to the Internet without my permission!

( If you’re wondering which videos these are, search for them and you’ll quickly find them, in the corner of the video you’ll see the words plvr / hm…yes, it’s me, Gently_HM! )

This thing actually only happened later, that is, the uploading, so I won’t tell you more about it now. Everyone traded such private videos. They became better and better. Someone has already cut these and made a compilation video out of them. I also cut and edited videos, although I was not as good as others, although others had more money for such private shows. I didn’t have a big salary, so I “plough back” my sold videos and asked for and recorded more private shows…on and on…
This all went on for a very long time, we became more and more well-known, we were talked about on other forums as well. Cliques and groups have already formed.

In the meantime, I continued to date several women, I also had a longer relationship of more than 2 years. The only thing missing from these relationships was honesty, since these women didn’t know about my lactation fetish, I didn’t dare to tell them…I was afraid that if I told them, they would break up with me and tell others…
I was very afraid that they would think of me as a sick and aberrant person with a mother complex, when it is completely different…
For me, ABF offers me something that makes me feel comfortable and nurturing, I like the reciprocated care, the closeness of the person… it is a much more intimate experience for me than any sexual experience in my life so far.
If I see a non-milky breast, I might not immediately want to suck it, but if I see any milky breast, I will immediately want ABF!
I thought a lot about whether I should go to a psychologist or a psychiatrist about this, where could this thing come from, which was slowly driving me crazy, but I didn’t dare to talk about it with others…

I was still in school and I was talking to one of my classmates about random things, and then somehow it came up that his grandparents were pigeon fanciers and where exactly they live / used to live…

I didn’t answer, my eyes widened and I searched for words…

After a while,i lauged and i asked him a personal and strange question…

Wasn’t your mom a wetnurse ( mother who selling breastmilk ) by any chance?

…yes, why?

— TO BE CONTINUED! —

[Gently_hm]

Part 3.

( Background Music – BMTH Discography )

I didn’t answer, my eyes widened and I searched for words…again…

I have always known that my “milk-brother” is R. and how interesting it is that my classmate’s name is the same. Then I was faced with the fact that his mother breastfed me ( or I just got the milk ) when I was a baby. And the fact that the mother from whom I received the milk was very young and the mother of my classmate also gave birth to him at a very young age also completely fit into the story.

– Shit, I got milk from your mom when I was a baby!

I told him everything I knew and what he knew about it all and yes, he was the R. whose name I only knew. I went home and completely thought about the whole situation, I just stared at myself…

Could this be behind all my lactophilia?
Is it just that I didn’t get the milk from my mother, but from someone else?
Yet how did it influence me subconsciously?
“…Oh, God, everything is so fucked (up)…”

I agreed with and accepted it, then and now I am still of the opinion that I would no longer go to a psychologist because of this… ( but for everything else I might have to…LOL ) Let this be my story, I willingly agreed to it! 🙂

…or not?

Meanwhile, more and more milk moms appeared on different cam sites, mainly from Colombia. The whole thing started to cheer up, more famous models came and went. As I noticed, unfortunately, the fame of most models lasted as long as their mother’s milk ( with the exception of 1-2 models ). I think a model’s reputation can be greatly boosted by a small fetish community, but don’t get me wrong…that’s just my opinion.
Somehow along with this, the company of PLVR also started to change, there were new faces and old ones left…unfortunately, although the strong community still remained.

At Christmas, we developed two habits in the group. One is that we posted this song:
“Twisted Sister – Oh Come All Ye Faithful” and we made some private videos available to others as a “gift”. One Christmas I did the same and shared a link…but with the wrong settings…( we will come back to this.. but whoever read my previous blog knows what the consequences of this will be in the future… )

For 1-2 years nothing happened either to me or to the group… then a phenomenon happened that people from the group appeared on porn sites ( pornhub, xhamster, camwhores, etc…) with only private videos… ( private in the sense that you could only watch them with permission )…

— TO BE CONTINUED! —

[Gently_hm]

Part 4.

( Background Music – Butcher Babies / Lilith )

I finished school and technical education…I already started working…

Everything changed, I finally stood on my own two feet, more opportunities opened up for me. Meanwhile, a longer relationship ended and a new one began. I loved my previous relationship, I was a bit more honest with my partner, although only one person still knew about my fetish … but it wasn’t her.
I was so in love with her, inside and out ..
I loved her breasts, they were just beautiful. C or D cup, a little “tear drop” shaped, plenty that fit in my hands, I loved sucking her breasts….sometimes she asked me to suck it during sex, which I really liked.
Sometimes she joked that in the kitchen she took out her breasts and pretended to shoot milk or asked if you wanted milk in your coffee … she took it as a joke … I imagined it and was incredibly turned on…
Unfortunately, I messed it up and she broke up with me after two and a half years. At a party, a girl kissed me while drunk, and the next day I told her what happened, which got a trace and we lasted a few months, but she didn’t trust me anymore, so it was over.
Looking back, I don’t regret it anymore, because I think this wasn’t the only problem, she had a boy friend who she met after we broke up…they’ve been together ever since…they had a child…they got married…I don’t think I need to add anything to this. ..good luck to them in the future!

“It’s a shame that your boyfriend doesn’t know that after our breakup, when you were already together, we had an ice cream in the summer, you accidentally ate yourself ice cream and showed your breasts and made a statement that:

You know I shouldn’t do it!

…shame and fuck you!”

I dated some girls, sometimes it was different… there were some that also lasted for several years… but they weren’t my loves, I just loved them… whoever… with someone, just sex was good and done…

Former PLVR members started uploading their private videos on Xhamster and Pornhub. I also started and only allowed them to see my content. We continued to share with each other which models are worth following, we discussed starting a private show together because it was cheaper that way.
The PLVR page started to be empty, there were new comments only every week… and then suddenly….. the page ended without notification…
It was the end of a period, a lot of content was lost ( we had our own storage where we could upload our own things ). Friends disappeared who have not been found since…
The creator / creators of the site probably couldn’t finance the domain name and the site anymore, so it ended. It was sometimes said that it would end suddenly, but we didn’t think it would be so soon…

Two things started in parallel with this:
I registered on Fetlife and they announced that radical things will follow on Pornhub…

— TO BE CONTINUED! —

[Gently_hm]

Part 5.

Now there is no background music…there is silence and peace…

I know it’s been a while since my last post, but I thought it was about time to continue this whole thing, just in case one day someone enjoyed reading it from start to finish…

PLVR left a big void, many good people disappeared and I still haven’t found everyone. It was a perfect forum for those and people like me, but it’s over…
Due to a stupid rule, only verified members could upload content to the site and this completely destroyed the fact that we could comfortably share content with each other, we could say that an era has ended again.

I looked for my place in the internet space, here on Fetlife or on other lactophilia-themed forums….but….i missed those people…
That’s when I got to know the Telegram Messenger, more precisely, a lady recommended it to me a long time ago and I saw that it was possible to start a group and I thought I’d gather the old members with whom I kept in touch. Fortunately, we managed to invite many people to the group and it was planned that someone would create a new page, something like PLVR.
The site was ready, but the atmosphere was not the right one anymore (it still isn’t) and my excitement quickly waned, so I wrote that it was officially over 😐.

I need to find something else…I need other stimuli…maybe it’s time to get more serious about my fetish and really find someone to fulfill it!
Since it is difficult to find a lady here in Hungary who would breastfeed me, I checked the forums of the surrounding countries.
I already saw that there is a lady in Vienna who breastfeeds adults, but unfortunately she was no longer active…on the contrary, a new lady came…a dream woman! …but unfortunately, another thing came with Alexa….

HELLO COVID 👋👋

— TO BE CONTINUED! —

( For those who have read my stories or have just started, I will give them the opportunity (introducing a little new thing) to write in a comment/message what I should cover more in the next part or whether I should elaborate on a previous storyline! )

[Jorge]

Hello! Your story is very interesting! I hope you can finish it. I tell you that I feel identified in several things that you write. I was also part of plvr.com and I tell you that they made an alternative page called plvrr.com. In my country I have the same problem as you. Here it is very very difficult to find a woman openly interested in ABF. When I found this page, I was really satisfied. I like the style that it manages and the quality of the community.

[Author]

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