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Hi everyone, I’m newer to the abf/anr community and to the dating scene in general. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting anyone in person using this site just yet, but I have had some pleasant conversations with people nonetheless. I have also had some not so pleasant conversations, usually the switch occurs when some of the women I’ve struck up conversations with tell me that their husbands/partners are unaware of their ‘extracurricular activities’ on here. I just wanted to rant a bit and throw my thoughts into the void I think. I don’t know your situation, I don’t care to know, but if you aren’t in an open relationship, if you’re not separated or divorced, if you’re just out here cheating on your partner to get your fix and ‘fufill your desires’, then why do I have to literally pry it out of you? Just slap that info in your bio and I’m sure someone matching your morals will oblige you.
I just blocked someone who I was conversing with and they casually mentioned their husband, so I wanted to do my due diligence and confirm that all parties were aware, and I was met with “No they don’t know, and if that’s a problem for you, seek elsewhere!” You don’t have to tell me twice! Unfortuantely this isn’t the first time I’ve had to end a conversation that was going well because people can’t be bothered to not cheat. If you feel called out by what I’ve said, then don’t be, just simply block me so I don’t have to waste my time talking to you. It’s frustrating as is trying to connect with genuine people on here, and it’s certainly no fun when this is going on perhaps the tenth profile that I’ve had to block because people can’t keep it in their pants (or in this case, bras)! Rant over I guess, just want to know if anyone has experienced similar?
Grow up!
Devin, you sound like you have never been married.. separating and divorcing someone is not something you wake up one day and just do… many many marriages are unhappy places for women and very difficult to get out of for lots of grown up reasons you might not have thought of.. you sound inexperienced and childish. But good luck anyway.. we’ve all been young and idealistic once
If you don’t want to be faithful, that’s your issue. I’m sure you’d feel differently if your partner/spouse was in your position. Again, I don’t know your situation and I don’t care to know. Unless you’re in abusive situation and every day is a battle just to survivor, there’s no excuse. Nothing more ‘childish’ than acting like you’re simply misunderstood when you’re simply just a cheater. I’d wish you the best of luck too, but that seems too good for you.
And if your partner couldn’t perform because of prostate cancer and you went 3 yrs with no sex but still love him you just go without for the rest of your life? It’s not a black & white situation and maybe one day you’d understand but, you are very young and immature about it and this post is not even nice! I never ever lied to you and it’s clear that I am married on my profile so, please don’t lie about me because you’re Mad, just keep scrolling. Maybe you can’t find someone because of the way you’re going about this.
And, I do believe I turned you down… too bad you can’t tell the truth about that (along with this full story.)I agree with you in principle but it seems like the way you have worded it has ruffled some feathers. I don’t want certain types of people and I do find that keeping that information from someone is deceitful. I’d suggest you put your preferences on your profile to resolve the issue and avoid these unpleasantries. Good luck.
Grow up son. Judging by your age and wording, you have some life growing to do. The first rule of any kink site is don’t yuck another person’s yum. If it isn’t for you then block and move on. Don’t judge people based on your morals or experience… Or lack of…
I think people are missing his point. If you wanna cheat, step outside your marriage, find fun elsewhere for whatever reason, great! Have at it! Its when people aren’t up front about it in their profile or in conversation and you have to drag it out of them that’s the problem. I have also had the same issue. After months of talking, he decided to throw out there that he was married. Like dude! You could have told me a lonnnnng time ago that you were married. If that’s your thing, cool you do you. But be up front about it.
Clearly Devin had a tantrum and blocked me. I hear you. I’m upfront when people ask. It should never be dragged out. If people want to ask… Feel free. It’s none of people’s business but by all means ask if you’re chatting
From experience I’ve had many women over the years I linked with that had boyfriends/husbands and most are upfront about it. And while yes it’s technically cheating if the partner doesn’t know they sometimes do it because they really into ABF and their partner isn’t into it that can become a problem. If you not comfortable with it that’s cool keep it pushing other than that people will do what they wanna do.
Like Leslie said, the main point of my post was that a little transparency goes a long way. It’s a major bummer having a great conversation with someone on here and then at the end they hit you with the “By the way, I’m married and he doesn’t know” with no indication in their bio or in their messages. I literally have to pry the marital status out of some of these people lol. Not trying to ‘Yuck another person’s yum’, (that’s a new one for me, adding that to my Vernacular for sure haha), but it’s not my thing, no need to get pressed about it, we’re all entitled to our opinions, so kindly kick rocks.
I don’t think I need to be told to ‘grow up’ for not wanting to be part of someone’s affair either. That’s not exactly a minority opinion to have you know (or I guess you wouldn’t…) But no worries, to save myself some future headache, I updated my bio saying that isn’t my style I’ll just block and move on when applicable.
Agree with Leslie on here and most of you who state people who are married or partnered should be upfront and not tell you once there is chemistry or you have developed some attachment in some form.
I haven’t had the best experiences on here so far which is why I am for now, not really adding more people as friends. I am big on ethics maybe not everyone else is but people should be given a choice made through informed consent. I have been cheated on in the past and it’s not nice. I’ve also had conversations with some of you who are married and don’t want to cheat so you know where I stand on that one. It’s one of the reasons of me doing the blog in the hope of more openness and communication between couples.
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