- This topic has 9 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 10 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
3 part question for the other women here:
a) how do you feel about men who send a first message with a hello message and their contact information (kik, phone, or email)?
b) how do you feel about men who have a brief chat and give contact information without asking if you want to move off site?
c) when you eventually decide to move off site, would you prefer if a man asked for your contact information rather than offer you his, like in the old days when men had to ask for a woman’s number?A. I’d delete, it’s either very presumptuous of him to think you’ll be interested in him or else he sends the same to everyone therefore he doesn’t care less about who he meets so long as he meets someone
B. I’d very quickly let him know that’s hes getting way ahead of himself and that I only communicate on here to be safe.
C.yes I’d prefer that. It wouldn’t be my phone number I’d give straight away though it would be kik or telegramA. Not interested and delete. They probably send the same thing to everyone, to me, it’s very suspicious behavior. This site is designed to communicate through various means and verify the person is who they say they are and it’s quite easy to use.
B. I would end the conversation, because a brief chat doesn’t mean much, other than a chat. They are making an assumption without mutual expressed interest. Rushing into going offsite without agreement from both parties, tells a lot about the persons intentions and/or patience.
C. It doesn’t matter who asks to go offsite, it should be mutual and feel comfortable for both people.A) I don’t like that so I usually just don’t respond or delete. It’s like putting their Kik or phone # in their profile. I don’t get that.
B) I’ve done this a few times too quickly when I was new to the site, and it never goes anywhere so now I just tell them it’s too soon and either they get it or they don’t.
C) I would rather he ask me if I’m at a place where I’m comfortable moving off site and ask me for my contact info. Then I can decide if I’m comfortable sharing Kik or my cell. But this should be after we have been chatting for awhile and have a comfort level developed.Thank you for this discussion. As a male seeking a female partner for ABF the responses help me avoid offending others or sending the wrong signals. Even the most well intentioned man can be clumsy communicating with a female he doesn’t know
a) I dislike it when men throw their kik or email out in initial contacts and find it presumptuous for them do do so. I use this site for safety and security to get to know whether I’d even consider having any contact off site at a later date. Sending it right away tells me he isn’t serious and/or is a player and does it with everyone.
b) same as above; I too, initially made that mistake and learned that it is easier, and safer, to communicate on here. If they’re serious they will consider our need for comfort, safety and security and comply.
c) I’d prefer he ask if I’m at a place where we can or should exchange contact information for off-site. Then we can discuss where things are at. Sometimes it feels like a challenge for men as to who can get contact info first, and that’s always a red flag for me.Thank you ladies for your views. Very helpful.
I have a question to ask of you.
I have seen several women’s profiles who include their email address and/or other means of contact off site.
What do you think that is about?Hi James.
Not every woman will feel the same way as the 4 women who commented above. Everyone has their own conditions. Also some might only use this site occassionally therefore put their details here so they can be contacted. Others might have special email address specifically for this site. I know I have 2 emails, my everyday one and then another one which I use for here.
Im with Juicy boobies. Have a email that is just for ANR/ABF. I feel that if your so uncomfortable with meeting someone online , why would you be here? Ive been lucky I guess, Ive gotten numbers off here. And when we knew it wasnt going to work we wished each other a happy journey.
I want to thank the women who took the time to respond. Those are obviously not the only scenarios but they seem to be the most common in my experience. It’s helpful to know that others feel the same as I do; as I’ve also experienced men trying to gaslight me into believing that I’m the one with the problem if I object to any of these scenarios. Also, very happy if some men take a lesson from this. Just remember, this is a very small pool of people who replied, but interesting that the replies were fairly consistent. Thank you.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.