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There’s quite a lot that could be said on the subject so I’ll open the floor to debate. Perhaps the simple answer is that this particular interaction represents a sort of unorthodox ideal for both parties. For the wet-nurse, an outlet for her feminine instincts (self-explanatory) and a reinforcement of her natural value- both the ability to produce a valuable commodity and therefore the ability to nurture children, and an outward sign of fertility. Even when nursing an adult, all of the above are still relevant. Then of course there’s the physical stimulus and all that entails.
For the recipient it can be more complex. Skin-on-skin contact clearly has a massive impact for both parties, but I’ll venture that there’s more to it for the recipient than physical presence or nostalgia for infancy. In a way, the recipient is providing a service to the wet-nurse by relieving her of excess milk. The ability to provide this service is also a source of value. I’ll throw an even wilder theory out there- that by doing this the recipient is providing a form of physical satisfaction to the wet-nurse that is an analog to conventional intercourse.
I don’t have much in the way of hard data, but upon reflection of my own fantasies I see some trends forming. I tend to look at adult nursing as a series of stages. The first stage is that the wet-nurse appears empty and therefore hungry, as well she should be as her body needs (not wants) nutrition to produce the milk. Second stage is that she’s given food and eats it. There’s a lot to unpack on the idea of a lactating woman with a full stomach. Its an analog to pregnancy- not just by appearance but by the idea that she’s eating for two. For the recipient who’s providing the wet-nurse with food, simultaneously this act is self-rewarding (you’re going to get the food back) and also a substitute for the paternal role of providing for your wife/child. It gets better, not only does this make her needs unselfish, but that she’s given a new kind of satisfaction just by something as simple as being fed.
Third stage is in resting afterward and waiting for the milk to be produced. This stage is very passive, but serene. Its great bonding time, and a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the other stages and everything that’s yet to come. And naturally the fourth stage is when the wait is finished and when the nursing actually begins. All of the buildup leads to this one moment where everything comes full-circle. The first let-down can be very vigorous and then followed by a long afterglow of mopping things up. Upon examining the entire process, there’s a great deal of overlap between it and a conventional courtship, hence my theory of adult nursing being the unconventional substitute.
I’d love to know if anyone else has experiences that align with this theory.
I just like boobs and consider it an extension of that. Pretty simple for me.
As someone that works in breastfeeding, your theory sounds nice but there’s no science that says you need to feed a women first then she’ll produce milk. Milk is made from blood not the contents of the stomach. A women would have to be very malnourished for her milk supply to diminish. The body makes milk first then sends the woman signals in the form of hunger, tiredness that she needs to refuel herself, same a when a woman is pregnant, her body provides for the baby first, then herself
However if something has happened with her blood supply, ie, PPH after giving birth, then she might have a low supplyStrictly speaking in terms of biology, Emma is correct. But the question is relating to psychology more than biology. Not to mention that the scenario described here is a hypothetical fantasy rather than a real-world situation. Ultimately the question is whether or not there could be some kind of emotional stimulus buried somewhere in the ANR process that allows it to act as a surrogate for the typical maternal/paternal behaviors.
Yes biology would probably offer the answer to the question you asked. Oxytocin is the ‘happy hormone’ released during breastfeeding, orgasm, cuddling, kissing, anything that makes you happy. I feel very chill wherever i feed my baby or ANR partner due to hormone release. I think the emotional stimulus you’re taking about is maybe just due to doing something you enjoy, if being breastfed is your thing, as a breastfeeding woman the hormone release is easier to identify.
Why do some some adults find being breastfed pleasurable and some don’t? Are they in fact taking on a maternal/paternal behaviour or sexual ones? I dunno. I only know boobs ?
For me it started years ago when my ex breast fed our children, i tried a little and liked it but my ex didn’t. When I got divorced it started again this time as foreplay but it took my second gf for us both to enjoy it….once again started out as foreplay but grew to be a loving bonding time between us that became a thing of its own. All this time I thought we were the only ones in the world that did it. Became a morning and night ritual and replaced sex some of the time…..for me its like I go into a hypnotic trance and can last an hour or more, she absolutely loved it and would even fall asleep during our abf. When we broke up I started to do a Google search to see if I was nutts because I was thinking about abf and longing for abf….and discovered it is quite common….now I’m looking for a LTR with ABF as a part of our bonding….that’s my story…
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