On the spectrum- Deal breaker?

Personal Ads & Forum General Discussion On the spectrum- Deal breaker?

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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  • #262183
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hello all, I wanted to pose this question? I was talking to a lovely woman on here whom I will not name. We had an engaging conversation and she inquired if I was on the autism spectrum based on the direction our conversation was going. Before I could answer she blocked me, despite her knowing that I had a poor connection and caused lag. Would being on the spectrum or having any disability for that matter prevent someone from being an adequate suckling partner?

    #262204
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi, I’m sorry you’ve been blocked. I’m afraid that’s pretty common in general and I’ve found it to be extremely common in the world of ANR unfortunately. Personally, I only do it as a last resort, but from my experience, there are a lot of people here who are running away from one thing or another, often themselves, sadly.

    We all have our issues, neurodivergence or otherwise. There’s no reason why being on the spectrum would stop you from being an excellent ANR partner for the right woman. My guess is she’s had previous experience with someone who was on the spectrum and found they weren’t compatible, that’s how she was able to guess. I would say, if she is that easily scared off, you’ve dodged a bullet.

    Keep being honest and being yourself and you will find what is meant for you.

    #262229
    Gumdrops (ToT)
    Participant
    • Female
    • Looking for: Male
    • USA
    • Missouri

    I have to agree with RachyJ, from the “we all have our issues” standpoint and neurodivergence issues. I am very good friends with people and several members with different challenges. It does sound like you did dodge a bullet there. The woman you were messaging with obviously has a very rigid preference in seeking what she thinks is the “perfect” partner/relationship. She must be either very young or very uneducated, or both to have such a closed mind as to not understanding none of us is perfect and everyone has their challenges, be they physical, emotional, or mental.

    #262241
    Steve
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • New York

    I’ve been rejected/blocked for incredibly minor issues. Not by anyone here, but I’ve had convos with people where we seem like a perfect fit and they block me once they suspect I’m not actually 5’11 or because I took the conversation too slow.

    It seems arbitrary but frankly it should be a good sign that you’ve been blocked over something like suspected autism. It just means that person isn’t on the same page as you (for better or worse) and you don’t have to waste your time and effort connecting with someone that might bring you more misery down the line.

    Which sounds easier said than done but honestly by the way you described it, whoever this person was simply wasn’t the right match and saved you the trouble.

    #262260
    Rj
    Participant
    • Male
    • Looking for: Female
    • USA
    • Washington state

    There are times where I feel its a contributing factor… But keep in mind I got blocked for asking if someones profile pic was taken in disneyland. Its a confusing hurt, but you gotta just move on. You will never get an explanation why.

    #262280
    Jessa The Magical A cup🐰❤️
    Participant
    • Female
    • Looking for: Male
    • USA
    • Virginia

    The spectrum itself, neurodiverse or any differently abled person doesn’t make a difference to me. My son has Aspergers. I have neurodivergent traits. What matters most to me is the overall traits of a man, his conduct, etc as I’m looking for a lifetime partner

    #262298
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    ableism is pretty wide spread in all of society, so I would say yes it does become a factor for consideration for people – should it? no, I don’t think so. But you don’t want to spend time with people who judge you without getting to know you, anyway. you’re worth more than that.

    #262333
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I don’t judge a person based on if they are ND or not. I make determinations based on their ability to communicate, ease of that communication and clarity. I have numerous ND friends all along the spectrum. It’s really meeting people where they are, not where you want them to be. But some people don’t follow that idea and if they blocked you, well,that’s probably in your benefit.

    I have blocked people and people have blocked me. I block based on their behaviors, things they say and if I know there is no way I can get along with them on any level, (which this site makes hard to do since they can still interact with you on the chat and here). I don’t block for any other reasons.

    When I see that someone has blocked me, I’m glad. It means they’ve taken steps to help themselves and I’m not conducive to their well being. Yay! I’m glad they made that decision and are taking care of themselves, even if we’ve never directly spoken to one another. I’m happy to respect that and do so in the spaces where I cannot be blocked from them so they don’t have to deal with whatever it is about me that made them block me.

    I’d say don’t take it personally if you’ve been blocked. Better to just move on and upward.

    #262396
    Karamel Latte
    Participant
    • Female
    • Looking for: Male
    • United Kingdom

    Personally someone on the spectrum would be more attractive to me as we’d have another connection.

    #262538
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    oh fyi to the folks replying, he was blocked because I was being very nice and sent a couple of photos and he was rude about it because my “bra was still on” and when I tried to explain that he was being rude, it still wasn’t connecting for him how rude/demanding his comments were, so out of curiosity I asked if he was on the spectrum, thinking maybe he didn’t mean to be rude but I decided ultimately being treated like an object with no feelings , spectrum or not, was not worth my time/energy. but he sure did a great job spinning this story!! 🙄 🙄

    #262539
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Don’t be sorry he was blocked. He completely spun this story to look like he was blocked for “being on the spectrum.” When really it was because he was rude, disrespectful and mad I wouldn’t send a photo without a bra on.

    #262544
    Jessa The Magical A cup🐰❤️
    Participant
    • Female
    • Looking for: Male
    • USA
    • Virginia

    @totallynotafaerie

    Welcome to ABFH! Adore the red hair 😍

    Unfortunately, being obtuse is a common trait among many, not only for ND. Good luck in your search!

    🥤🍿

    #262631
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I have since seen the woman in question’s account of this and it seems you left out relevant information about the conversation, painting her in a negative light, when in fact you expected to see pictures of her bare breasts.

    It’s her body and her choice who she shares it with, physically or photographically. Nobody has the right to demand photos, regardless of neurodiversity, and this is not an opportunity to accuse someone of disability discrimination, it’s basic social skills that everyone who interacts with anyone needs to acquaint themselves with.

    If you don’t respect people’s boundaries, not only will you find yourself being blocked, you might be reported.

    #262632
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I commented yesterday, but I have since seen the woman in question’s account of this and it seems you left out relevant information about the conversation, painting her in a negative light, when in fact you expected to see pictures of her bare breasts.

    It’s her body and her choice who she shares it with, physically or photographically. Nobody has the right to demand photos, regardless of neurodiversity, and this is not an opportunity to accuse someone of disability discrimination, it’s basic social skills that everyone who interacts with anyone needs to acquaint themselves with.

    If you don’t respect people’s boundaries, not only will you find yourself being blocked, you might be reported.

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