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I want to thank everyone who responded in this, so excited to look through and respond accordingly thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions! xx -Raquel 🤗
@foxgoddess Wow I am sorry to hear they rarely ask about your interests. Yes, a sentence about themselves then a novel about their ANR experiences and fantasies… just no! Yep we all have mouths but there should be more than that! Yes, I’m sure there is potential on this site and you are not ‘just tolerable’ I’m sure you’re definitely a lot of fun.
@jroos503 I agree that kinks are ‘generally’ shamed however, we are in a specific space so that should be a rare occurrence… I appreciate your thoughts you seem like a very levelheaded guy. Yes, manners are definitely ideal and respect as well.
@july17 ha ha yes I definitely agree asking about if I have any luck– like dude why would I still be on the site? lol. and telling you they like to jerk off… these guys need to either get their money up and go buy an only fans subscription or stop trying to solicit free explicit conversation. here SO rude and I’m sorry that happened to you. x
@juicyboobies filling a void in the relationship or marriage would entitle meeting, not just sitting over the computer chatting imo. I think the only void they may be filling is that they have no human contact because otherwise they would know how to approach with conversation and inturn end up meeting someone. Unless their void is chronic online erotic chat.@Jules So sorry that has happened to you! Sounds like they feel called out when you call them on their behavior and in turn project; sadly.
@cravinmilk Hi there Michael! If it wasn’t so cold in the West Coast, I would gladly take a plane and fly over! Your response was well written, and definitely agreeable. Interesting to note that chivalry is not dead, and there are men here who do prefer to treat a woman as such.Yes, I agree simply because we are on an explicit site, they feel we are an easy target for sex that may or may not happen down the line either way you will not get anywhere with any sort of vulgar conversation or lack of class…
Personally, for me there will be no conversation if I see any mention of ANR, your experiences or the like in my inbox;; there will not be in a meeting without conversation/email, and there will be no conversation without appropriate chat.
@terri Yes, Jessa I agree! The mental connection and friendship comes first everything else comes after (or even sooner for me if you play your cards, right!)@leatherandlace1979 Leather, feel free to send him my way! I actually prefer and adore older men as they are more respectful and we just click better!! I’m sorry you had to block him though I’m assuming he was not upfront with what he wanted and/or was it that you both weren’t on the same page? things happen. x
@tremont22 so you ask to hear about their experiences. Is it so that you can jerk off and so you can get turned on? Be real. If you were genuinely curious. That would not be some thing you’d ask right away you can definitely wait I’m sure… And whether they have had different experiences, or have not had any at all, we are on this site for a reason, so no need to state the obvious.
— I guarantee once guys like this get there rocks off the conversation stops because 1) you’re embarrassed 2) they stop conversing because they are nervous to meet since everything else is laid out on the table. men are so backwards sometimes LOL
@candor Just because an approach works for one person doesn’t mean it works for everyone and if you’re still on this site and have not met anyone, then we can go by statistics and say it’s not working.
Well… meeting anyone of quality that you would want to meet and see long term anyway. You all know that a woman, speaking, explicitly and vulgarly will insight you not to meet with her you as already have a preconceived notion, and there will be very low level of respect. Therefore, you are more likely to want to meet in the house, etc. as opposed to a dinner like a regular proper gentleman.
I know for a fact the same does not happen on dating apps, because men like that don’t get any meetings in person…hence why they are on an app. If you have trouble formulating proper conversation with an attractive woman, then just say that babe. Why would I want to meet you in person, If you can’t even start with a simple hello how are you? You wouldn’t approach me like that in real life if you saw me correct, so why do it online???@uselessdreamer hello dear, but comparing inanimate objects to human beings is a little bit strange. IMO. Of all the conversations that begin in that manner, I’d love to know how many of them turned into real life meetings? Just curious. Honestly, I’m not sure how speaking about my body parts can be taken in a respectful manner of course in person after getting to know someone yes when you see their intentions, and of course, hear it in real life, but initially from a stranger on the Internet, not really gonna happen. So, as far as comparing Legos to our body parts, I think that’s a little strange, and we are all adults here not children at toys r us… xx
@flowrgardn Hello love and thanks for replying! Yes, I agree. A genuine man who was raised with respect, is polite and mature, and knows how to speak to a woman.
So true! Why start off rude and take your chances when you can just be a traditional!Yes girl I call them out as well and I let them know as soon as it happens (sometimes even before!) The worst is when I let them know ahead of time and they do it anyway or they are faux “respectful” for the first few messages and once I give them my personal email they start to be explicit and vulgar. It’s like these men have no self-control! Sadly.
Your last few lines are golden and a perfect way to conclude the thread!
“The major problem is that most men on here don’t seem to be actually interested in abf anr….they want an experience, or to try it, but do not comprehend that this is actually a dating and relationship site…..we all have that common abf interest, that’s why we’re here….show us who you are as a person, why we would want to be around you, with you, why we would want to talk with you, why we should spend time interacting with you. It isn’t going to be because of your abf anr talk!
@raqueldances
Nope, I’m afraid you missed the entire point of my answer. I never compared Legos to body parts.
I merely pointed out that for me it’s obvious to strike up a conversation online based on the mutual interest that brings people together in a forum with a theme.
@raqueldances It’s interesting that you introduced the suggestion that those men should go ‘get their rocks off’ by subscribing to OF. I personally believe that OF is a form of digital prostitution and has done immeasurable damage to many people’s ability to have a healthy relationship. It is monetization and objectification of the men and women who ‘sell’ themselves on that platform. Is has been statistically proven that most women are seeking their ideal partner from what amounts to the top 1% of all men. Likewise on dating apps, men (who outnumber women 5 to 1 on most) will also match with up to 70% of the women, whilst women only match with 4% of the men. So there is a massive group of men out there feeling completely sidelined and invisible in a normal dating sense, and they’re feeding the OF business model, which is in turn feeding many to feel that if they’re paying for the ‘privilege’ of seeing a woman naked, then that entitles them to behave and conduct themselves disrespectfully. It certainly does not, but it happens. A more disturbing element of the OF concept is that some of those men that subscribe to OF, will also develop some kind of ‘ownership’ attachment to the woman they’re objectifying. That’s really unhealthy behaviour for both sexes in my view.
Social media has also created an unhealthy situation where a lot of men simp on women and those women then develop a deluded sense of entitlement and addiction to what they perceive as positive and validating male attention. Quantity does not equal quality is all I’ll say on that point.
Life was so much simpler and healthier for both sexes, before this digital age. Sure this digital medium gives us ability to connect with people with similar interests and I’m sure it’s helped to promote the ABF interest in societies where the majority frown on it due to societal conditioning.
I’d love to see a return to old school chivalry and the elegance of a natural mating dance. Women can play their part in it too, by stepping more into their feminine energy and being less sexually aggressive. ‘Men shaming’ for natural urges, is childish and won’t bring about positive change. By all means shut down any man that acts disrespectfully if that is your personal preference, but let’s not forget that some in some fetishes and kinks, there are women that actually want to be degraded and used. It turns them on to be dominated. The same way there are men out there that want to mothered or treated like a baby, or totally dominated and humiliated by a woman. Each to their own and no one has the right to judge anyone else for their personal life choices and desires.
I’m strictly in the more vanilla element personally, but understand that it takes all varieties to make the world go round. It’s the spice of life. Filter out the ones that don’t fit your authentic desires and needs, but don’t judge others for being different. They’re different and will find their people they fit with.
I’m old school traditional in terms of what I seek in a relationship. Never going to choose a partner that wants to power play with me. In my world, it’s a man’s job to provide, protect and lead. That means I’m not a good partner choice for a woman that wants to wear the pants and try to dominate me. That would end badly for both. I’m ok with the fact I won’t be every woman’s ideal partner. I only care about finding the one that does like my values and genuinely chooses me as I am, not what she’d like to turn me into.
All about being authentic at the end of the day, and holding your own healthy boundaries, which work for you personally.
There is someone out there for everybody, and it’s perfectly ok not to get on with, or be understood by someone else.
@raqueldances Dude, what the hell is with this aggressive response?
I ask how their experiences have been with dating because it’s a very unique group of us doing this. Some are brand new to the scene, some have been around for a while.
I did the same thing on Tinder like 10 years ago back in Uni. If they’ve had nothing bad poor dating experiences seeing other people, or good ones, It’s just a conversation topic about something we’re *both* doing and dating.
How at all does that lead to me jerking off to their messages? wtf?
Simple solution. Post boldly at the head of the forum that crude, vulgar language will earn a one week ban. Is this site moderated?
On the other hand, as a newbie, I beg for patience and guidance. If a conversation does not suit you, be bold enough to say so. Explain things to us. Guide us. Chastise us Punish us if need be. But don’t expect us to know the rules coming in the door. This is not your typical dating site. It is a special community with special requirements that need to be explained.
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