Language and safety

[Daisy🍊🥛]

Just wondering how often people are inconsistent or incongruent (and I am human too, no better, so this observation is not meant as an accusation, merely as an exchange of thoughts). In plain language: they dont do what they say they want to do.
We all want honesty, but the next second we tell a little lie (for their own good, we say to try to make things right and at the same time make ourselves look good) Right? We all have seen it?

On this site we do value respect and safety. No one will oppose to that, I think.
For example: its not safe to discuss someones personality, qualities or desires in public. When it does happen, you can be adressed for doing so. Say sorry, and thats it. Do it again and its a pattern. And it will be more difficult to decide what to do about it. Agreed?

Same with respect and language. We do want to respect each other. My question is what is respect? When are we being respectful? Who gets to decide if its respectful? Is it about the intentions or about the recipient?
Its always difficult in jokes. You are joking around and suddenly you feel a border is crossed. Its not funny anymore. You dont want to be difficult, so you laugh it away.
For example: you get a remark on what you are wearing and its all positive. You feel good! People say you look smoking hot! Even better! Yoohoo!! But then it changes to: you shouldnt wear this, you cant wear that etc. The focus shifts from what you are wearing to the effect on that other person. Awkward.

Question: does it matter if the commented one is a male or a female? Will te same language be used? Does it matter if the commenter is a male or a female? Why?

People: sadly, it does matter. In parts of this world women are arrested for not covering up their hair, their body. They are shamed for what they look like. Male incapability to handle the sight of a woman is made their resonsibility. For their own good, to protect them, is said to make it right. No: its to protect men. To make sure they do not have to grow up, mind their language or reflect on their behaviour and change it.

When do we cross a line? When is a joke not a joke anymore?
I dont know exactly. I’ll have a go: 1. the recipient isnt laughing anymore, 2. a bystander makes a comment that its not funny, or 3. when it turns into the commenter making the recipient responsible for what he is feeling or doing. And therefore is putting himself above the commented person. For her own good, cause she looks stunning.

Disrespect starts right there, out of good intentions, wanting to give a compliment. And font be an ass saying: oh now i cant even give a compliment! Yes of course you can. Respectfully.
Women are not the same, but they are equal as human beings.

Very curious of you thoughts.
Love you all, Daisy

[Milky Goddess]

“It’s not what you say, but how you say it.”
“You catch more bees with honey.”
“First impressions are everything.”

I truly believe the power of words and first impressions matters immensely, especially in spaces like this.

Women are human. There is a whole, complete human attached to the breasts.

In the Spicy Chat (myself included), many of us post for encouragement, progress sharing, confidence boosts, curiosity, or simply connection. Flirting can absolutely be part of that, but how it’s done makes all the difference.

Personally, I’m far more inclined to engage or spark a conversation when a man says things like:
• “Thank you for sharing”
• “Wow”
• “Now I’m thirsty”
• “Sexy”

These are flirty, respectful, and surface-level. They leave room for consent, curiosity, and mutual escalation.

On the other hand, opening messages like:
• “Nice tits”
• “Have you tasted your milk?”
• Explicit sexual demands

feel intrusive, overly forward, and honestly creepy as a first interaction. Those thoughts may exist, but leading with them shuts the door rather than opening it.

As a personal preference, I’m also not a fan of the word tits due to its degrading association in porn culture. That’s just my journey and my boundary, not a universal rule.

This isn’t about shaming anyone. It’s simply a reminder that tone, wording, and respect matter. If connection is the goal, honey works better than force.

Just my two cents.
Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t.
MG

[Daisy🍊🥛]

Thank you!!

Your first remark is interesting ( the rest too!!) its not what you say but how you say it! ( or: how it comes across)
The way a message makes the recipient feel is used to discard the content. Thats a trick that is often used to get the upper hand. On the other hand: the sender can reflect on a better way to get the point(s, lol) across.

I am a linguistic. Language is so interesting, because its layered. There is the sender, the message , the recipient. Simple, one would think. Then why so many fights, even wars on words? Why silence writers and scientists and teachers?

Because in the message there is not only content, but also intention and personalities, life experiences that colour our view, childhood wounds. And fights are mostly not about content. Before you know you are fighting about something totally different, not even the same subject anymore.
Its such a beautiful skill, but also a deadly weapon, only humans do have.

Thank you, MG!!

[Author]

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