› Personal Ads & Forum › General Discussion › I feel like I’m being interview for a job sometimes
- This topic has 31 replies, 20 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
Lew Banelis.
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December 19, 2021 at 12:00 am #77430
got to take the good with the bad
December 19, 2021 at 2:23 am #77546In the beginning I didn’t know what questions to ask and met with a partner where it was his first time to. I ended up very sore for a week. It wasn’t because the partner was bad or trying to hurt me and I accept my part in the results because of my lack of experience. It’s important to know what experience both partners have. We all want it to be enjoyable. As a side note, if you are unhappy with the pace, tone, topic of the conversation, take control of it and guide it from your end. Ask the questions you would like to have answered. If it’s someone I’m really interested in I don’t hesitate to ask things that let me get to know their likes and personality. Weird thing like; does pineapple belong on pizza? (After all, everyone knows the only correct answer to that is double pineapple… duh)
December 19, 2021 at 8:00 am #77654Thank GOD you said it. None of those things matter. I agree100%. I have told 3 men that tonight. Asking me, “Sooo how’s the weather in Las Vegas.” Hilarious. Or asking why I’m here or how long I’ve been here, or how many men are pursuing me. Like they hAve nothing to offer. This is about two souls finding a sacred space of intimacy and connection and nurturing. Men say they need it and Women want to give it. Those questions don’t bring intimacy. The best to you. Hang in there. I’m a few months new. I’m learning as well.
December 19, 2021 at 8:06 am #77655Way I don’t agree with TC. Not all ladies are cautious. You’ve got to trust your intuition ladies, and Harris, I understand how you feel. You want a Woman or partner to accept you for you and not feel like you’re at a firing squad. It’s like dating in a way. Men want to feel desired, even in ANR and Women want to feel heard and safe. As far as hurting, nursing is pleasurably painful. I don’t know one woman who nursed a child who hasn’t felt like she wanted it to stop then start again. It takes adjusting. Not all eomano here have had the childbirth or nursing experience in that.
December 19, 2021 at 8:07 am #77656Women*
December 19, 2021 at 12:25 pm #77700Anonymous
InactiveYes that’s what I’m trying to get at…
I want to feel like someone is interested in me, not my history with ABF.
I’ve met complete newbies in the past and had enjoyable times. I’ve been a complete newbie myself and was guided and given pointers on how to latch.
I feel like too many are fixated on finding the ‘perfect suckler’ rather than finding someone who shares this interest with you.
December 19, 2021 at 4:46 pm #77811Heard a saying once- “In ANR, men really just want the A, and women just want the R”.
And to a degree, its true. Still, the purpose of the questions shouldn’t be to try and figure out ulterior motives, but rather to find where there’s room for honest compromise.
December 19, 2021 at 4:57 pm #77821Having had breast encounters where I came away with bruises from awkward hands, personally how a man physically interacts with the breast is important to me. However, I usually can tell how he will be by having completely unrelated conversations about life interests or other topics.
A man who is gentle, thoughtful, and caring will most likely be a good partner. I have had very little ANR specific convos in DM because the gentlemen I choose to converse with are interesting, mature, and usually describe their ANR energy clearly in profile.
I think a good blanket statement for both men and women could be: have something to talk about (and be excited about or skilled at) other than ANR initially. When you are comfortable with someone and feel seen as a person, then physical energy can flow more openly. Each member will have their own limits for how much getting-to-know-you they want to do, however, especially if they are talking with multiple potential matches.
December 19, 2021 at 8:44 pm #77931Anonymous
InactiveWhat happened to “Hello, I’m …..good to meet you! “….. build an email around a profile. Respect,people are human.
December 25, 2021 at 6:11 am #80100As a person who has been apart of the anr community for 12 + years..the interview is necessary and important for ANY and all potential partners which should be respected. You are asking a woman to remove her top and share something so tender by exposing our vulnerability to strangers. Yes I said strangers. A weeks worth of talking 8 hours a day is not enough for me to ever feel safe to be behind closed doors with someone I just met online, no matter how much they promise to be on their best behaviour. I’ve been slammed up against the wall and called a “tease” when I said the first no. It’s a dangerous world and I expect any future partner to be as open as possible. Profiles only say so much, but when you dig deeper into the reasons why someone wants to nurse, there are automatic “no” when they answer a certain way! Just saying
December 25, 2021 at 11:28 am #80134I really like how you encourage people to get to know each other’s personalities. I agree that it’s really important and like the OP, prefer a conversation to interview style questions.
Some questions are important though. You mentioned that when you were new, you didn’t know the important ones to ask and you ended up sore for a week. Could you share which questions you feel might have helped the situation? Of course hindsight is 20/20, but I value your experience on this topic. 🙂
December 25, 2021 at 11:32 am #80135sorry, the above post was in response to @summerdream (daisy’s) post but i don’t think I did it right. Apologies, I’m a bit new here 😬
December 25, 2021 at 8:56 pm #80262Hi bouncyboobies. For my first experience I probably should have met with a partner who was experienced and could have mentored me.
I did ask my first partner if he had any experience. He was honest that I was his first just like I was honest with him that it was my first time. It’s not just asking the questions, it’s knowing the potential ramifications of the answers.December 26, 2021 at 1:59 pm #80527Thanks, daisy, that makes perfect sense. Having a mentor is a great idea.
December 28, 2021 at 3:58 pm #81773Anonymous
InactiveThis level of intimacy is not exclusive to ANR… Everyone is just as vulnerable in a “normal” date that might end in sex, yet I’m not ‘interviewed’ during a date.
I feel like this is why people into ANR rarely meet. Stop interviewing people for the ‘role’ of suckler and start treating them as people you share a common interest with.
Yes, ANR is a niche but it’s not a magical mythical thing. Jesus, snap back to reality people.
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