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I hope this guide and tips helps everyone. If I forgot or didn’t include some information please let me know, and I will try update this post.
Please note that some information will be relevant to both men and women so I copied and pasted them into each section in an effort to provide information to men and women without a lot of scrolling and finding the information.
To make it easier to read and see each section easier I have used * to separate each section.
Here are the following sections if you want to hit ctrl+F and search for them.
- MALES SEEKING FEMALES
- WOMEN SEEKING MEN/WOMEN
- FOR MEN AND WOMEN
- FREE ANR PERSONAL’S AND MY THOUGHTS ABOUT EACH
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MALES SEEKING FEMALES
As a male, it’s difficult to find someone. I hope through my experience you will be able to find a partner much faster that I did when I first started. Having done this for the past 6ish years, I have learnt a thing or two and hope this will help you as well.
Write a profile page on the site you are on if you can.
Make it detailed, state what you want, what you don’t want, what relationship status you are and your experience with anr also state whether you can host. But here is the thing – DON’T make it entirely about you. Make it about them if you can. ALSO include a photo of you. Everyone likes to know what the other person looks like even if it’s not the best photo of yourself. Try to include a few photos, and see which one does the best for you.Write a few different ads and test them.
I’ve found that straightforward ads work much better than ads that are long winded. For example, I have a few ads that are similar but slightly different. You can check my profile for examples.Also make sure to post often. Most women will not check page 5 of whatever site they are on. They are going to check the most recent pages 1-3 pages and expect them to do research on you. Women will read your profile so make sure it’s good!
Do your research.
I know this is commonly said but if you truly want to find someone you should at least read their profile. A profile is a glimpse into the person you are looking to connect with. Think of it as a cheat sheet to getting to know them and inquire about their profile if you can.Messages.
Don’t just say “Hey”. Women can get away with that because they have a million guys messaging them and we don’t. You have to put effort and time into your message to them. Perhaps include a little information about yourself but I always try to end the message with a question – this way it shows interest and gives them a reason to email you back. Don’t include more than two questions.Get familiar with the terms of online dating.
- ASL = Age/sex/location please don’t forget to include your location! It will be even harder to find someone if you don’t because people can’t search for you or if they do find you they won’t know where you are.
- M4F = Male looking for a female some might also include their age for example 35M4F means 35 year old male looking for female.
- F4M = Female looking for a male
- Hucow – According to urban dictionary it’s a woman who chooses to be objectified for her large mammaries and ability to lactate constantly. Personally I think of it more like a woman who wants to be treated like a cow, be milked my machines and have her milk drank. As I haven’t explored this (though I am interested) I have very little to add to this.
Be everywhere regardless of how much time it takes.
Yes that means be on every anr website you can, because you never know where you might find a partner. I try and check it daily, remembering that the early bird gets the worm! I will provide a list at the bottom of this post.Search for women in your area.
Abfheaven.com is a great place to search for people within your area. Fill out what you are looking for, what they are looking for and type in keywords that might appear in their profile like a city, state, etc. Don’t forget to search for cities near you as well since not everyone is going to be in the same city you are!Reddit is another one people don’t know much about, but I have had a lot of success on there but it is a little harder to search. Here is how I search for anr partners on reddit…
Find the group you would like to search and join it. When you are on the main page of that group there will be a search box at the top of the page that says the group you are in. It will look like r/adultbreastfeedingabf just type in your city or cities around you and click search. Do this for every group you are in and message the people you find – even if it’s months or years old. I’ve done this and have found partners by doing exactly this. Yes it’s a bit of work, but it does work.
Fakes and scammers.
I have had a surprisingly large amount of people posing to be a female or are trying to live out a fantasy and don’t actually want to meet. I try to have anyone I come in contact with (especially if they reach out to me) prove they are who they say they are. I typically will ask for a photo of them touching their nose or showing a peace symbol with a photo of them. This way I know they are real, rather than sending pics they received off the internet. If they do send pics and I haven’t asked them to verify, yet I will search for the image using google to see if they are real or fake.Stop asking for photo’s.
Yes I know I am doing exactly the opposite of what I said above but limit yourself to 1-2 photos. Women are constantly being bombarded with men asking for photos. Show them that you are different, show them they are important to you and that you are interested in more than just their body. Women want to be admired for their body but want you mesmerized by their mind and soul.Set boundaries/expectations before meeting.
This goes for men and women. Know what you are okay with or think you are okay with. Some women do this because it makes them feel good, others want to experience it again and others are turned on and want to masturbate while you suckle their breasts. Ask why they want to do this and what they expect from you.Diseases.
YES diseases can be passed from one person to another through suckling. AIDS is one of them. Do your research and make sure to be upfront with your partners and ask them these kinds of questions.Don’t expect to find a partner.
Yes, everything I said above is to help you find a partner, but just because you find one doesn’t mean they will click with you or find someone else. Don’t take it personal. I know when I first started looking it hurt a lot when they stopped responding to me or ghosted me entirely. There are a lot of things that can happen in someone’s life that can cause this to happen. Try to stay positive, learn and adapt. It sucks at first if you are like me but you will get past it.Don’t expect to find the perfect partner.
Every person is different. Some will be standoffish, some will be flakes and others will pretend they know what they are doing, others will admit this is their first time and are learning about anr/suckling/etc. The best way to find out what the other person is like is to ask questions. Here are a few questions I recommend everyone ask.- Can you tell me a little about you? Provide information about yourself first and then ask this question. I normally re-phrase what my anr ads say. I also make sure to get their location if they don’t tell me upfront. I am not okay with long distance anr relationships. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
- What got you into anr?
- What experience do you have with it?
- If they are new provide them with some resources like this: FAQ regarding lactation/ANR https://lactation.wiki/wiki/Main_Page
- Do you have a significant other?
- Does he/she know?
- When would we normally be able to meet if we click?
- Do you want me to host or do you prefer to host?
- Would you be interested in setting up a schedule, so we can be consistent?
- When would you be interested in meeting?
- What positions would you be comfortable with? Any that you would like to try?
- Is there any sexual interest in this for you? Then make sure to state how you feel/want regarding this question.
- May I see a photo of you? This doesn’t have to be nude. I just like to see who I am talking to. I’d also like a photo of you touching your nose or showing a peace symbol with your hand so that I know you are real. I have had a lot of people pretending to be on here looking for anr but were actually fake. Sorry I have to ask this of you, but I’m serious about meeting someone. I hope you can understand.
- Are you trying to induce?
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WOMEN SEEKING MEN/WOMEN
As I am not a female and am not in any way saying that this is the best way to find a man/woman to start an anr relationship with. These are more suggestions for you and things I’ve seen/experienced with women on my anr journey.Safety.
As a retired law enforcement officer I can’t stress this enough. Be safe. Yes include your city/state but make sure to meet them at a location BEFORE a anr session. I can’t tell you how many of my relationships women have allowed me to come to their house before meeting me outside of it. Safety should be your first priority. Tell your friends that you are meeting a guy on XYZ date and time and make sure to check in with them. You don’t have to tell them why you are meeting with them, but have someone in your corner just in case.Diseases.
YES diseases can be passed from one person to another through suckling. AIDS is one of them. Do your research and make sure to be upfront with your partners and ask them these kinds of questions.Don’t send more than a photo or two.
There are a lot of pic hoarders and people who just like to see women naked. If you feel comfortable showing your body great, but if you haven’t met them, only share a photo or two, otherwise the requests won’t stop especially if they are pic hoarders and flakes.Profiles.
A lot of women don’t provide a lot of information in their profiles about what they have done, why they are interested in it and what their goals are, whether you prefer to host or be hosted. Personally, I’d like more information on your personality, what you are into outside anr. I would not recommend providing a way to contact you outside the website you are using. Talk to them there first, get a feel for them and then provide the information. Otherwise, you are going to get a lot of messages that are unsolicited.Don’t expect to find the perfect partner.
Every person is different. Some will be standoffish, some will be flakes and others will pretend they know what they are doing, others will admit this is their first time and are learning about anr/suckling/etc. The best way to find out what the other person is like is to ask questions. Here are a few questions I recommend everyone ask.- Can you tell me a little about you? Provide information about yourself first and then ask this question. I normally re-phrase what my anr ads say. I also make sure to get their location if they don’t tell me upfront. I am not okay with long distance anr relationships. It just doesn’t make sense to me.
- What got you into anr?
- What experience do you have with it?
- If they are new provide them with some resources like this: FAQ regarding lactation/ANR https://lactation.wiki/wiki/Main_Page
- Do you have a significant other?
- Does he/she know?
- When would we normally be able to meet if we click?
- Do you want me to host or do you prefer to host?
- Would you be interested in setting up a schedule so we can be consistent?
- When would you be interested in meeting?
- What positions would you be comfortable with? Any that you would like to try?
- Is there any sexual interest in this for you? Then make sure to state how you feel/want regarding this question.
- May I see a photo of you? This doesn’t have to be nude. I just like to see who I am talking to. I’d also like a photo of you touching your nose or showing a peace symbol with your hand so that I know you are real. I have had a lot of people pretending to be on here looking for anr but were actually fake. Sorry I have to ask this of you, but I’m serious about meeting someone. I hope you can understand.
- Are you trying to induce?
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FOR MEN AND WOMEN
A lot of women/men want to experience latching correctly and building a relationship with their anr partner. I’ve written a post on how to latch, suckle and treat your anr partner and why it’s important. You can read it here https://anrfriends.com/forums/discussion/how-to-latch-and-suckle-correctly/
Technique for learning to latch/suckle without an anr partner https://anrfriends.com/forums/discussion/suckling-technique-for-those-of-you-who-are-new-to-it/
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FREE ANR PERSONAL’S AND MY THOUGHTS ABOUT EACH
Here are ALL the anr websites I use. I try to check daily or at least every 2-3 days. I tried to put them in order from the best to least successful based on my experience.
Abfheaven.com
I’ve found that this is a great community of anr/abf supporters. It’s great and the admin/owner is fantastic about getting back to you as well as banning people who are abusive. Highly recommended.Dreamsofmilk.com
Dreams of Milk is a great website too, but it is difficult to find partners here because it doesn’t have any search functionality. It also offers a reasonably priced forum for serious members; however, I’ve found that there are very few people who post there.AnrFriends.com
DISCLAIMER this is my anr personal’s website. It’s 100% free and no ads. You can create/join groups, have etc. No restrictions besides no porn, dick pics or harassment/abusive/hate talk – I think that is pretty reasonable. It’s a growing community and I hope that you find it useful in your search for an anr partner.Milksweetmilk.com
Technically, this site is free. But it has some SERIOUS stupid restrictions in my opinion. You can only message one person a day and post one classified ad, plus you can only have five conversations at a time. But it does have a search functionality so you can find locals near you.Fetlife.com
Whew – lots of groups here. But what I found was that very few people on fetlife actually want to meet. The site is 100% free and caters to more exotic sexual encounters and subjects. Worth a look and like it said it’s free, so why not? Here is a link to a website dedicated to personal ads for ANR/ABF people – https://lactation.wiki/wiki/Online_ANR_ABF_Communities_and_Where_to_Look_for_Potential_PartnersDoubleList.com
This isn’t the best place to look, but I have found two people who wanted anr. This site is mainly for hookups but expect little to no success here – but it is an option and free, so why not try it?Kik Groups
There are a lot of kik groups out there. I’m not going to list them all here. But honestly, as a male I have had NO luck there. From a female perspective, a lot of the people who are admins of the group are typically men. Which means that they get first “dibs” on anyone who enters the group. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try it out but just be wary of it. Here is a link to a website dedicated to personal ads for ANR/ABF people – https://lactation.wiki/wiki/Online_ANR_ABF_Communities_and_Where_to_Look_for_Potential_PartnersAdultbreastfeeding.us
This website isn’t something I recommend. Very few people use it, but I think it doesn’t hurt to put an ad on it occasionally. It’s free and why not?
Thank you very much for the exhaustive information, suggestions and other useful websites. I read them through with patience.
I might have a comment, if I may. When I read women’s profiles, it is often said that men write without reading women’s profiles. I suppose it could work similarly the other way around. This can be a disadvantage of too much information in profiles.
From the above, I think that perhaps a shorter profile focusing on the most essential things would be better and the details should be clarified later. This would act as a pre-filter. This way both parties can decide if they are even interested in a relationship. For example, quite a few people write that only local residents are interested. So it doesn’t matter whether someone is willing to travel there or pamper a lady from morning to night, one parameter overrides almost everything. For example, if I see this, I don’t write a letter in which I initiate a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, I really liked your description and thanks again, but maybe you should consider making the profile in two parts like this. This way you can find out what things can and cannot be compromised.
Interesting point. I hadn’t thought of that. I will think and possibly ad that to the post if I can still edit it later as I am about to head out for the evening.
This is very helpful but at the end of the day it’s being in the rite time at the rite place. And location location location
While this is certainly helpful information, mixed in with a bit of self promotion 🙂 the problem I see is that this is geared toward a specific type of encounter. For someone like myself and many of the women on here, who are looking for a relationship that includes an ANR, not just ANR/ABF, this approach would turn me off. If someone started off with asking me these questions, I would assumed they were not interested in getting to know me as a person, which is a prerequisite for a relationship. I also get contacted by so many men that want just an ANR/ABF, despite my profile being very specific about looking for a relationship that incorporates ANR, not just ANR. I suppose each one of them thinks that I will make an exception for them, but its a tremendous waste of time. It is imperative that people read and understand profiles, but moreover, respect what they say.
I second Effervescent1. You can put whatever you want in your profile, it won’t be read. It’s almost wasted space.
Another issue is the objective, as Effervescent1 said. 99% of men who message me only want to talk about ANR and sex, which is fine, but my profile says in asexual. Talking to me only about ANR and sex isn’t going to do anything to get me interested in you and is going to more than likely make me just stop interacting with you. There’s a lot more to talk about that is more of a priority, especially with ANR which is a very bonding activity. If all you want to do is suck and get off, that’s fine, but not everyone else shares that want.
Also, if a woman isn’t accepting messages, you won’t be the exception. You will only piss her off more for not bothering to read.
These are just my $.02 from having been on several sites.
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