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How much time are you willing to give a person you are talking to before you decide whether or not there is a connection? An hour? A day? A week? A month? Something else?
What are your deciding factors that cause you to stop talking with someone? Their photos? The language they use? Lack of mutual interests? Something else?
Obviously, it can be a multitude of reasons, so it’s okay to say more than one.
I just realize we hear a lot about people being ghosted, or people just never coming back, even when the conversationseems great, but not much about what people consider an adequate amount of time to determine if there is something there or not. Maybe if we can elaborate on our decision processes, we can get a better understanding.
Depends what connection you look for. Passion? You just know in a few moments. Friendship with ANR? Takes a while to build it but depends from person to person. Can’t be forced. You just feel it’s right.
For me the biggest reason is distance. I don’t do long distance stuff that well. Then scheduling issues.
How much time to become chatty Pattys? Electronic friends? More than electronic friends?
There isn’t any set time with me. It feels right or it doesn’t with out any set time frame. It just has to have time to develop or wither.“Maybe if we can elaborate on our decision processes, we can get a better understanding.” Love that!
Time? From the moment a message is sent or a word spoken till much later, months. Example, I started this ANR journey with someone because we had a connection. The connection was destroyed months later when finding out information unknown previously.
Deciding factors? It starts for many in how they communicate and what they communicate. Sometimes it’s decided in the forums or in chat bf we ever “message”. I don’t tolerate rudeness, meanness, bully type behavior. So that’s a factor. Sometimes you can learn their way of thinking doesn’t line up with yours. Sometimes it’s knowledge of age, location, already have a partner/married, etc. What is not your preference(s). Lack of common interests or similar intimate subjects or common future goals
And currently, it’s my own state of mind. I’m just tired of many men,the search, the things I read, etc. So taking time for myself & concentrating on me
Honestly, I’m just trying to gain some understanding of why people do the things they do.
I don’t get upset when someone decides they’re done talking to me. I’m a grumpy grump and really hard to get to know, so I totally get that.
I don’t block people who juat stop talking to me. If they come back the next day, week, month, as long as they remember we have talked before, I’m good. I don’t expect anyone to spend their entire time talking to me. If all they want to do is check in every now and again, I’m good with that.
I’m usually pretty upfront if I don’t feel a comnection or our interests don’t line up, or are things I just can’t get into. I think that is the fair thing to do. But I’m still more than happy to continue talking to someone unless they are just offensive, make demands or are rude. The only other reason I would stop talking is that they have run the gambit of who they are or what they have to offer and I’m not finding any connection or reason to continue. I am very transparent about that too.
I figure it takes time to get to know someone. Every day conversation, hearing what they like to do, how they spend their time, etc. I’ve found that a month if daily conversation, even if just a brief time a day helps me feel more willing to continue talking to them. If we fall easily into daily conversations and don’t feel pressed to say anything, that’s usually someone I want to talk to on a regular basis. If every conversation revolves around the same topic, it’s not going to last.
It’s hard to determine time, but I feel if someone is willing to invest the time to talk to me, I’m willing to give them a shot to find out about them. I find usually, the other person is the one to stop talking with me. I figure they’ve done me a favor. Lol
Ive no patience so within 5 minutes ill know if the conversation will be continuing or not. And yes if the flow of conversation is slow or boring ill just stop chatting or ghost them if you want to put it that way. Lifes too short imo.
It’s quite rare to find the connection with someone where communication just flows seamlessly.
For me it really doesn’t take much time to know if there’s chemistry and interest to talk or if I’ll be the only one trying to carry the conversation. Or if it’s entirely one sided.
Reasons to stop? If they refuse to prove they are actually female and the person they are claiming to be. If they push for nudes.
Reasons to drop a conversation? When interest fades away. It’s easy to tell when people want to answer and are interested in continuing the conversation or when they are not.
Yesssss!! 💯 agree with @juicyboobies
Because I have done the long distance relationship thing for a couple of years when it was just letters and the occasional long distance phone call I am ok with waiting a few days between responses. I know how life gets.
I agree with Johan that connection can happen in a few moments or in my case about 10 to 15 minutes. On top of that it usually takes me a few conversations before I can see we have enough in common before I am ready to date someone to deepen the relationship.
But with the message system on this site that same 10 minute conversation could easily take a week one statement at a time. Add to that my multiple conversation need and time can add up to a month pretty fast. So, I guess that is an approximate time to see if there is a connection for me.
I tend to look at the totality of the experience when I am considering to deepen the relationship. While no one thing stops me because I know I will never get everything I want in a person a combination of things will compel me to move forward or slow down. So, it is a combination of looks, personality, beliefs, interests, actions, and love languages (give it take). The more the stars align the more I want to be with them or slow down and re evaluate the relationship.
Like you FoxyGodess, I tend to be slow with the block button. Even if I don’t view a person as a potential partner I will still talk with them. Though blatant disrespect and boundary breaking are telltale signs of multiple unhealthy personalities, so under those circumstances blocking is definitely understandable and needed to protect oneself.
I try not to ghost people. Though, my inbox is not bursting either. But it may take me a day or so to respond.
Anyway, that is my two cents. Hope this helps.
For me, there’s no set amount of time. I will generally know pretty quickly if someone is not for me.
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