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Patience key for sure and to be honest, I’m REALLY happy to have found this space and be around like minded people.
I’ve learned the hard way buddy, unfortunately not everyone is gonna jump on your program unfortunately, I’ve accustomed an approach to say whatever it is I have to say, putting a first good impression, be respectful throughout and just be a civil good person and leave that with her, if she wants to connect with you she will, just keep moving on talk to more ladies if necessary can’t guarantee one will be all about you depending on what she/you is looking for. Life gets in the way or whatever is occupying her mind right now do just leave her to it if it comes to her withdrawing from you.
It’s sad I know , the slow replies, getting ignored nothing coming through, i suggest cast your net further and expand your search to different sites and communities you never know who could be there🤷🏾♂️
God speed.
At this point, searching for anything in general whether it’s online, or in person is probably just a complete waste of time……I hate to be so negative but….🤷
I’m feeling really lucky to have met my match here on this site. He wasn’t the first guy I talked to or met off this site. We both met other people along our journey to each other.
I have come to realise some people’s preferences reflect their own insecurities.
For example, I’ve come across women saying they are not “stick thin” or “models”. Being slim isn’t extra ordinary nor does that make you a model, nor does it make you look like a stick. These some people also say they don’t want gym fit men…
I would keep in mind many women (and men) have no intention of meeting. They conjured up some dream of ANR years ago and when they realised they will never achieve that (probably due to their 20 paragraph list of ‘requirements’) they just want to waste others time. “If I can’t have it no one can!”.
I’m very glad I have experienced ANR and know what it actually is like because I can’t imagine having a functional relationship with some of these people. Their profiles are a list of wants and very rarely do they say anything about themself and what they offer as a person.
I find most men think it’s their right to receive whatever they want and get mad at being turned down. Someone jumps right in asking to be nursed but the woman asking for any compensation to them is a crime. So entitled
@milkytee
I don’t know if this was aimed at me or just men in general, but I was not talking about rejection in my original post.
I definitely have experienced some of what you describe Sunny. I suppose it’s about patience, luck / timing, and also recognising this is a community like any other we join in life. If we entered a bar we wouldn’t approach each female to see if they are open to what we’re looking for. The females could be out with a friend, out with a partner, open to date, looking for a bit of fun. If you do chat then it’s two ways, you might not like them and v.v.
One key point that definitely resonated with me, if the person I’m chatting with can’t hold an adult conversation then it loses my interest fast; applies outside abfh too of course. Most people on here can surely muster up some basic conversation other than asking about the weather 🙈
I’ve experienced everything everyone has added here. Twice in recent months I developed incredible connections. One was ended earlier this year after a couple months of speaking offline only for her to tell me there’s no point in us speaking anymore. No reason was given, I hadn’t done anything wrong to my knowledge and before long my messages weren’t being read or responded to. The other was literally last week. We spoke for a good long while, on the phone, video calls etc then she decided she no longer wants to pursue ABF. She gave her reasons, but it still sucks.
I’ve been at this for 9 years and my desire for ABF has truly been tested. I gave up multiple times, but always come back each time with newfound hope. I’ve contemplated moving city, country and continent numerous times. Case in point, I would have flown to USA to meet someone I spoke to and developed a connection with here. I know for a fact it would have been a blissful experience as she was really into me and even suggested we look at flights, only to be thwarted by non-existent cross-Atlantic travel.
I say all that to say, patience is very much required if you’re seeking ABF, and even more so if you’ve tried vanilla and it no longer does anything for you. It helps to flesh out your desires expressly too, even if it means narrowing the possible women down dramatically. You only need a cursory glance at my profile to know that what I’m looking for is next to impossible to find. Still, I can’t tell you the amount of responses I’ve had since expanding my ‘about me’ section. It was perhaps in the ball park of 4 or 5 in a 10 week period, compared to zero in the preceding months. Granted most of the responses have been from women in USA, but still I take this as a positive. If nothing else this reaffirms that I need to move there to find what I’m looking for.
Being left on read, ignored, getting blocked for saying something innocuous or shortly after sending a face pic, these are all inevitabilities in online dating. You just have to take the rough with the smooth. It can be hard to take when the woman doing the blocking or ignoring is literally in the next town over less than 25 mins away, but it is what it is. Would it be nice if you received a polite response to tell you why it’s not going to work out? Sure! But you have to just remember that in the online dating world, this is not a given.
Keep ye chin up lad! There are women discovering ABF every day and signing up, if not necessarily at the rate we would like. Someone will come along hopefully sooner than later, you just gotta keep at it.
80/20 rule in fell effect
I can only give you feedback from my experience. And there will be differences in what we are all seeking.
Some men have been quite pushy on here (red flag). Some want the sexual side of abf, anr not all of us women do.
Some of us women will be attached and not wanting to share lots of photos until we have built some trust. We allneed to check out if the other person is genuine, trustworthy, stable etc…Some women are happy to have lots of different feeders, others want someone regular to build a connection with.
For me I want to take time to build a connection. I want someone that messages daily and that I can have decent conversation. If a man tells me nothing about himself or cannot have general chit chat, laughs etc (red flag). Im sick of feeling used just for my tits, I am a person too. For me I want the man that breastfeeds to like me as a person too, I want a friendship to develop so that a closeness is there when they suckle. Not just a random stranger that messages every now and then to get on your tits when they are available.
Good luck. The right woman for you is out there, be patient 😊
Lily I wish there was a like button. I’d double like your comment. I’m still new here and I’ve lost count of ‘can I see your boobs’ messages. It’s such a turn off
Why is it when a man posts his experience, the thread gets de-railed with women saying it’s worse for them?
What sun said is valid and not exaggeration.
Women might have to sort through a lot of messages but they have a greater pool to choose from.
Men can literally be ghosted or ignored for no reason and it’s back to waiting 12 months for another woman nearby to join and the cycle continues.
I just think everybody takes this all personally – what I mean is people are people, some smart some not, some socially and self aware some not. The difference is you haven’t actually met them. Body language gives clues. Its all non-contextual expressionless text
Which is why people should actually talk using the voice note function. How someone responds, dodges questions etc etc. Even the way they actually formulate their words and phrases is telling.
The problem for men and women is equal, just *different*
@ Greg if you read Sunny’s original post he asked for people to share their experience so far, both men & women.
This thread has a good share of what he asked for…men & women responding.
Of course what he said is valid, I don’t think anyone is trying to state otherwise just meerly giving their experiences too 🙂
The ghosting goes both ways too, and sometimes rude blunt repies which is why people might then get ghosted.
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