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I find lap in pillow is the best position for me. I can’t do any others for long. It’s not comfortable
I can say I’ve only done head in lap. I do like that a lot but I think overall side by side would be the best for the longest sessions. At least for me anyway.
I like laying side by side, and standing between his legs while he’s sitting on the edge of the bed… Obviously heights have to match though..
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