Do I have a Fetish ? and is that bad?

[Tom]

I have been thinking about this topic off and on since I found this site. I tend to journal my thoughts for stress relief. But since I intend for my journal to be handed down to my kids I tend to censor it for some adult topics. I journal so that I can stop ruminating over a particular topic and it also helps me to organize my thoughts and get at what is really on my mind. With that said, I am not starting this thread to gather peoples thoughts, but to give myself a bit of therapy in a safe place. Hopefully, no one is traumatized by my thoughts (hehe). I figured some may be interested so they do not feel so alone in the boat of experience.

Anyway, one of the first things I noticed after I found this site was the discussion of fetishes. When I consulted the almighty Google regarding the definition of Fetish I found this definition (one of many): an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

I think it is ironic that when you look at different discussions of fetishes on the net they make long lists of what is considered a fetish (abnormal), but they NEVER list what is considered NORMAL sexual behavior. Little wonder because when you look around the globe or over time normal becomes a moving target to include whatever each author/group thinks is normal/abnormal.

If Google was not enough I consulted the all wise Wikipedia to see a list of all of the different types of fetishes (list of paraphilias) and there it was: Mazophilia (Female Breasts).

So I asked myself do I have a fetish for female breasts? Short answer yes. Long answer: according to the definitions and lists I read, in my experience just about everyone fits into a fetish or multiple fetishes in their sex life that they use to get off (they just don’t realize it or want to admit it).

I mean, come on…after a little digging I find that Adult breastfeeding is going on all over the world today and has been for a long, long , loooong time. They have a breastmilk bar in Japan where you can get it in a shot glass or directly from the breast. When you Google the question “My husband wants me to breastfeed him” you find this is a more popular search term than “my husband wants to separate” and “my husband wants a baby” combined with most of the search traffic emanating from India. I just read today that China busted a ring that involved adult men paying thousands of dollars to get access to a database of women to breastfeed from. Uganda, Kenya, and Tanzania have a growing subculture with husbands demanding breastfeeding from their wives. Then there is the black market for breastmilk in America for weightlifters and other groups for perceived health benefits. If that was not enough Adult breastfeeding is glorified in great American literature when I was forced to read The Grapes of Wrath in high school. It was glorified in Roman culture to breastfeed a malnourished family member in jail. Among others over time.

I personally believe that there is a bigger trend of adult breastfeeding than is publicly discussed. Experience has shown me you simply cannot have sex with a lactating woman and not get some milk. Even my older brother would put excess breastmilk in his coffee. What is so wrong with getting some after the baby is done? The body makes enough milk in a woman to satisfy demand (how else can one woman nurse twins or be a wet nurse). I think the people writing about how adult breastfeeding is bad are really just projecting their own insecurities or deflecting on others. Don’t get me wrong, taking all of a woman’s breastmilk and leaving nothing for a baby is totally wrong. But to shame someone for what makes them happy is manipulative, controlling, and also wrong.

I think to a degree, many on this site are suffering in some degree from the social shaming that is occurring. Otherwise, most of us would be posting our full faces and bodies in our profiles. I myself, do not have a profile picture because others in my small town could misunderstand my involvement in this site or how it could possibly affect my professional career. I still find it ironic that other fetishes are OK to have (because they have been talked about a lot) and adult breastfeeding is not. Shaming is such a horrible thing to do to people. But I digress…

So, long story short…yes, I have a fetish (possibly more) and is that bad?…obviously not (if no one is hurt and it brings both joy).

Hope this finds you all well. Have a great weekend.

[Anonymous]

Interesting stream of thought there Tom. After I first tried breastfeeding with my partner, and feeling the awakening of emotion and connection that we did, I was surprised that the stigmatization was so present in so many parts of the world. It is such a beautiful and healthy way to connect with another person, you would think it would be more common, or even deeply entrenched as a normal part of our culture. Maybe one day lol.

[Jessica]

Thank you for sharing your journal entry with us, Tom. It was refreshing to read. Good luck on your journey 💖

[Carietta]

Thank you Tom for letting us be your journal readers. Loved the read.
Hubby asked me about ANR 10 yrs ago. I eventually said okay let’s try. Then wow!!
What a great feeling and connection it creates. I can’t get enough now. I rely on sessions for my serenity and happiness. Wish you luck Tom 🍀

[Ted]

Tom, I’m right there with you. The well developed female breast is completely hypnotic to me. I’m actually ashamed of how much incredible joy I take from every chance encounter. Does this fetish make me horribly shallow? That I truly cannot enjoy a sexual experience without heavy breast play? I don’t know about other guys but sometimes this fetish floods me with guilt and shame.

[Found the 1. The only one.]

From Merriam Webster

fetish
noun
: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression

[Effervescent1]

@redrooster By your own definition, what you’re describing is not really a fetish, unless it’s the only way you can be sexually gratified. Read the definition again. “…psychologically necessary for sexual gratification…”. The second half of the definition means that if the object is missing, you can’t get off. So much of what we call fetishes, truly are not. They might be better described as kinks, interests, turn-ons, quirks, etc. Generally, they do not rise to the level of an actual fetish. So your premise that just about everyone has a sexual fetish is inaccurate, because true fetishes, are actually rare.

[Tom]

Yeah, I was unclear with the definition as well. I just assumed since they were always there and my reactions during sex I fit in the definition.

It is possible I have a kink. I will have to think about it.

[Anonymous]

thank you for sharing you thoughts! I also hope that breastfeeding will become more generally acceptable in society so that there is reduced shaming associated with it.

[Anonymous]

I agree with others that I think it is more a fetish if you can’t become aroused without breast stimulation/suckling. I am wondering if I might fall in that category (receiving end). It’s become a bit more distracting lately

[Author]

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