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There is no middle ground: The recipient gets to decide. This has long since been settled across virtually every forum on the entire internet.
Or are you arguing that blocking someone without any other response, or with no “valid” reason is rude? Fine, that’s theoretically true. But to say that means you haven’t been on the receiving end of the scary and even dangerous wrath of the angry and entitled.
Because, so far, from what I’ve seen in all threads, the common complaint has been:
I was raised to be polite and considerate and blocking without a response is rude.
Why is it rude? Specifically my case where my profile states no DM’s, and many other women. My profile also says “no blind friend requests” but I’ve gotten two in the last 24 hours.
Provide me with real reasons as to why it’s wrong to block and I’ll consider them, quite happily. But this whole “I was raised to be considerate” is just shaming others to get them to do what is wanted and frankly, that’s ruder than blocking. It’s a manipulative tactic to make another person feel uncomfortable enough to go against their better judgements. How is that okay?
I am very open to other reasons. They just haven’t been provided.
@jackl If a person was blocked by someone the only people that know why are the person blocking and sometimes the person being blocked.
So, what is there to hear out? What purpose does it serve to come into the general forum and post grievances over being blocked? Even when someone admits to what it is they did that lead to getting blocked, rarely do they heed the advice given.
If the person doesn’t know why they were blocked, it happened out of the blue, and the block was discovered by complete happenstance. So what?
I was blocked on New Years eve by 2 men on this site, I never had any direct contact with either of them. Maybe they didn’t like my puzzles or maybe one of my forum post or comments ruffled their feathers? I don’t know, I don’t care. They decided they did not like me and do not want to communicate with me, and it is their right to make that choice. I do not know them, I am not loosing anything. There is nothing to hash or hear out.
So there is my opinion, this is the attitude people need to have when they are blocked.
The other thing to consider is that all these forum posts have originated from men, not women. Women have said nothing till these posts pop up. So…who is really being intolerant here?
Count-down to “red pill” posts from men on how women’s boobs should be allocated to those who don’t have a pair handy?
Give me a minute to check the photos and puzzles and I’ll get my requisition in. Score!!! 🙂
No one’s arguing about ‘blocking’ being wrong / rude – this is a red herring to the original argument. Everyone should be able to use the blocking feature pervasively. But why shouldn’t s/he make a posting about it is the matter at hand – we can all choose to ignore, comment or disregard the posting. Why should a ‘Pete, a ‘Mary’ or a ‘Julie’ move on without voicing a question or concern over here? Today it’s for ‘blocking’ then tomorrow it’s for something else. Every case is absolute…granted blocking is at the bottom of the totem pole.
I respect the opinions – it’s not directed at any single individual. Hope everyone else’s opinions are heard out too on the forums…including the ones from douches. Unless blatantly disrespectful and unwarranted, it’s interesting to read, comment or ‘move on’ from the posting.
@foxgoddess exactly!
I was blocked I want a platform to complain about it. All I did was say nice tits, that dumb Bi**h should have just accepted my complement and move on.
That is exactly what I hear when reading this kind of crap.
Sure! People can complain in the forum all they want. That’s what forums are for. My issue was there were 3 that were already well traveled territory. Explainations had been given. Women who welcome all DM’s gave encouragement to DM them. Women who want their personhood to be respected voiced why.
But here we are, doing it all over again.
My main offense was your “judgy” comment. Yes, I’m “judgy”. I have reasons to be, just like those women who encourage men to keep sending unwanted DM’s have theirs. But men also need to understand how infuriating, frustrating and aggravating it is when women are constantly messaged, have it on their profiles, and then see, yet another one of these posts. If men don’t want women to feel like a commodity or an experience, it doesn’t do any good making even more threads about how they don’t get the opportunity. (I’m not saying every guy on this site thinks or feels this way, but I feel pretty certain those who feel entitled to a reply do. Otherwise, they would move on.)
How about necromancing an old thread to complain? Or better yet, read the old threads and learn something before starting a new one? The last two are on the first and second pages of the forum, so they aren’t hard to find.
I’m happy to have a debate, but if it has to do with me adjusting my boundaries for others, that’s not a debate.
Well perhaps the masses should only be given a list of specific topics they can talk about which everyone is comfortable with and not aggravated about? 🙂
We try that in profiles and it’s never read. Forum threads are never read. So…sure…but it won’t make a difference if no one reads it.
I’m sorry you don’t like hearing that women are equally upset about a situation that could be fixed by a few behavior modifications of messagers. But so far, in the history of sexually oriented sites, that has never happened and unless there is some weird world change in human consciousness regarding how to effectively speak to one another for mutual sexual gratification, it never will. 🤷♀️
I guess my remark about having a ‘restricted topic’ site was taken seriously – such restrictions would be asinine. Who said I don’t like hearing what women or men have to say about any topic at all on here? It’s what I’m all for and been talking about. Kudos to all view points, but I like to see other folks’ as well. It’s interesting to hear various view points on all topics from ‘all’ members, and it’s not always about select individuals’ opinions who participate in public areas. I’m guessing these areas are for the larger community, no?
Based on my experience, no matter how negative an event seems at the first moment, it also has an advantage.
Personally, I don’t follow the tactics of blocking or ghosting (even if I am a “victim” of them), but I accept that they use them, and I even see their advantage.
And why can’t we talk about them, even more than once? Or is it anti-democratic? Obviously, we can get to know the topic more and more nuancedly and see if anyone knows a solution. We communicate, we exchange opinions, is that such a big deal?
Let’s look at some of the advantages of blocking or ghosting, taking into account some of the known reasons.
1) You are not a local resident.
This means to me, among other things, that distance is more important to a lady than, for example, finding a soulmate. For me, a soulmate is more important than distance, so I know that there is a very small chance that I would have a good relationship with the lady, no matter how beautiful or attractive the lady is. So I’m glad I don’t have to waste any more time.2) There is no solution to explain
TryTryTry raised the issue of being blocked and not being able to explain the situation as she is unable to contact a person. The question is, what would it be like to live together if your partner were to close his apartment due to a misunderstanding, for example, and you could not enter the apartment or contact him to clear up the misunderstanding. I would certainly not take on a partner with whom communication does not work. SORRY FOR THE SIMILARITY, but to me this behavior is a bit like that of a grumpy toddler. I, on the other hand, am not looking for a grumpy little child, but a partner. So I’m glad that this is revealed at the beginning and not say a year later.Both ghosting and blocking reveal something about the person, as the actions describe the person.
At the same time, I understand that it is not easy to process dozens of messages a day, especially if their content is offensive.
Perhaps it would be worth testing and finding out in which cases blocking or ghosting can be accepted by the majority of the ABF community, or what should be done about the situation if someone receives so many messages that they are unable to process them in a few days.
I suggest that we try to exchange opinions, communicate, and find a common solution. This could represent the strength of this tight community.
@jackl Some sort of restriction with a vetting process isn’t a bad idea.
Start with new recruits. Have a six week grace period. After the evaluation process is done abilities are released. After a further period others are released.
If at anytime they act like a dickhead, an asshole or a douschebag they go back to square one.
If abusive they get deleted.@grogman Fair! After all it’s an ABF channel and some restrictions can apply.
My first experience with being blocked here was just after I joined, by a female member who I had previously chatted with. She accepted a complement I sent and she replied by sending intimate pictures of herself. I thanked her, we chatted a bit but both acknowledged the distance between us was probably a deal breaker. I sent a second message later, saying hi again and how are you. I was then blocked.
Initially I was puzzled, confused, by the change of heart and questioned myself on what I did and how it resulted in my being blocked. I took it personally.
At some point I realized I may have or may not have done anything wrong or offensive, but the bottom line was, it wasn’t my decision.
The exact same as being approached in public by someone and deciding not to interact with them, for any reason.
All members have the unilateral right to block. End of story.
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