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I wanted to understand the situation where you have an experienced person versus a newcomer to the lifestyle. What are some of the pros or cons as people have explored or want to but not explored this life style? Thanks for the input. I am asking because like any other relationship experience maybe helpful because it helps but at the same time, learning together is more appealing. Anyway….
I’ve only had one proper ANR and he had previous experience. For me, it was nice to be taken care of by someone who knew what he was doing. His latch and suckling technique were incredible and it never hurt or felt uncomfortable. He checked regularly that it felt good and that I was enjoying it, which I always was. I trusted him and he was confident, respectful and not at all intimidating. His communication was excellent and that dynamic worked really well for us.
We also had unbelievable sexual chemistry, the likes of which I have never experienced before or since. I think if I hadn’t had such an amazing experience with him, I might not have pursued it, but the problem is he’s set the standard so high that it’s difficult for anyone else to live up to 🙈😭
I’ve found that with the 4 subsequent men I’ve met since, I’ve had a good idea of whether or not their technique was any good and I could tell whether their latch was correct or not. However as someone who has never suckled on a breast since I was a baby, I have not been able to offer any constructive advice. Unsurprisingly, the one of those 4 who had previous experience was good, but we were not compatible in other ways.
In summary, I would say that it’s an advantage to a woman if the suckler has some prior experience, or at least some knowledge of how to latch on and suckle correctly. For me personally, as someone who values connection and finds it a very sensual experience when done well, especially with someone I’m attracted to, it’s difficult to find a good match, so I would say if you find someone you’re well matched with, never take that for granted.
No worries, always happy to share 😊 what has been your experience with it so far, or are you new to it?
I can sense that experiences can range from life altering to not so good. Like you said it’s rare to find the correct match so if possible, keep that one close. I had to ask this question because I get asked it a lot whenever anyone contacts me. I feel like I know a lot more of the mechanics of the process but not necessarily the experiential. Of course, the latter is what everyone is asking about. At the same time, I feel like there is a possibility of something really precious coming out of sharing and waiting for the right partner in nursing as well as in terms of total compatibility. But that attitude maybe quite naive and not very liberated in today’s world of easy come easy go where one or the other partner does not really care about the other but they still nurse for the physical sensations that they are trying to assuage. In contrast, when the emotional connection is there, I think that might be a highly synergistic and resonant experience that is what I think the essence and allure of true ANR is all about. Sorry for the long explanation 🙂
From my perspective each time I’m with someone it is a unique experience. Suckling is not a one size fits all activity. Adjustments need to be made for your partner. It is very beneficial to those involved to make this experience as enjoyable as possible.
When introducing someone new to this id say the main things are. Be supportive,be patient, and take things as they go. Try to take the pressure out of what could or should be a beautiful experience together.
It is very dynamic relationship. Good communication is essential. Everyone has their own tolerance and enjoyment level. Latching and pressure needs to be fine tuned with your partners needs. It is all about giving pleasure, caring and nurturing so you walk together in this journey. For me, emotional attachment and good communication is essential for this relationship. Experience or no experience is not that important. Someone has to start at one point. It is all about satisfying each others needs and desires and caring for each other.
Like any interaction or relationship, it’s subjective to the individual. That’s why honest communication is key and it’s important to have an open mind and realistic expectations.
Personally, I feel there are too many nuances and factors that cannot be mitigated to try to form a relationship with someone over the internet. You could be talking to someone on a site like this for months on end and everything could seem like it’s going to be perfect on paper, only for you to meet them and there’s no chemistry or their suckling doesn’t live up to your expectations. Then what? Do you try to force something that doesn’t feel natural, or do you accept that you’ve both wasted all that time and invested all that energy into building something that won’t come into fruition?
If I feel like the vibe is right between myself and someone I’m talking to and we’re both hoping to gain the same thing from the experience, I arrange to meet them sooner rather than later. Of course, it’s always a risk when you meet a stranger, so I always meet new people in a public place at first, for safety reasons. But if we both feel comfortable, I just get down to it that same day. For me, it’s the only way to know.
I met my former ANR partner in person 2 days after I messaged him for the first time and he acquainted himself with my breasts that very same day. It’s fair to say he made an impression on me straight away and after that, there was no question, I couldn’t get enough.
Each to their own, but I would say just go for it, in a safe and sensible way, if it feels right.
Personally, I have only just recently got the suckling part right in terms of how it is supposed to be done.
However, I am willing to adjust for the woman I am with. I try to take into account what she says feels good for her breasts (I have been told I have a gentle suckle) and what we both enjoy sexually.
I have some time to wait before the next attempt, but the baseline of that communication and trust is always first.
Thanks Corey, it’s very nice to see you up and about on the site. I hope you are feeling better. 🤗
I am dealing with a throat bug that is going around town. It kept me upp all night coughing.
I might not be able to make it to a meeting I have tonight, but there is no issue if I don’t make it.
That is something else I noticed about suckling: When I am sick, I have a more difficult time with it, especially the swallowing action. Makes me wonder how babies do it when they are sick (though they have no choice, I just feel even more sorry for them when they are sick and nursing).
I have a combination answer. The relationship, by far, is the most important. Hopefully you find someone who is interested in abf as well, but the relationship takes precedence. With that perhaps you can develop anr if they are a committed and considerate partner.
That being said, experience trumps inexperience hands down and absolutely makes a difference. Inexperienced latchers can cause damage and marks. No woman needs or wants that. There have been posts on here before where women have been left with bruises on their breasts from a poor latch.
Latchers need to read, learn and practice. Many men do some research, though most do not do much. They think they know how…but they don’t. There are men who truly are interested in abf and anr and will read and think the process through, be considerate and try. Hopefully you find one of those.
Hi Flower,
A really sweet post, thank you for responding, Yes I understand, telling an adult man to learn is possibly a fine line to straddle, I think that it might be intuitive for some but not so much for others. A connection will definitely help , in the latter case, in terms of working together towards the greater good or better latch in this case 😉 It is all a matter of the woman leading 🙂
I wish I could say that experience doesn’t matter when being a suckler, but for me, I’m afraid it has proven to matter. In so far as my own pleasure and comfort goes, which correlates to my desire for that person to be at my breasts. Regardless of my partners age, thier experience level seems to affect thier ability to control themselves and focus on the nursing for longer periods of times. Certainly intention, education and connection create a better atmosphere for the suckler to pay attention to the females reactions and responses to thier touch and latch.
I too cannot explain, other than the basics of a good latch, how to intuitively listen to a woman’s body while at her breasts.
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