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I am new to this and I am trying to figure out whether I fit into ANR/ABF. I have always considered myself a “boob man” and thought what I desired was about normal. Though after reading what is on here it really resonates with me and makes me wonder if I am something more…
I read through most of the 41 forum pages, articles, blogs, and found a good description of what ANR/ABF is (ANR & ABF are both relationships but one is dry and the other is wet). But there is no real description regarding how to know if ANR/ABF is part of you. Let alone if I fit into one of the subtypes of ANR/ABF (erotic, platonic, HUCOW, adult baby, etc.). So I ask the question: what is the difference between a “boob person” and a person into ANR/ABF?
For example: Do I fit into ANR/ABF if I do the act of suckling (by itself or with sex)? Is ANR/ABF something someone just self-identifies with (I like suckling therefore I am ANR/ABF)? If all I do is oogle and manhandle breasts then I am a “boob person”? or am I into ANR/ABF if I do more of certain things (suckling for more than 15 minutes during sex, suckling every day, suckling multiple times a day, massaging breasts, etc.)?
I would also like to hear from both men and women so that everyone can help see where they fit in. If there is a website that does this then by all means point the way. I appreciate the feedback and help.
btw – it would be great if there was an ANR/ABF terms thread/page. (ANR/ABF is almost its own science as it has its own jargon).
it would be great if there was an ANR/ABF terms thread/page. (ANR/ABF is almost its own science as it has its own jargon)
100% agreed. I started a topic here on this specific subject and it died on the vine.
Long post a head.
Maybe I’m wrong but it’s my understanding that ANR is a committed monogamous relationship with adult Breastfeeding at the centre of it.
Abf is a casual no strings nursing arrangement. Similar to casual sex.
Wet or dry usually differentiates between nursing a breast with milk vs one with out. So if someone says, “I’m interested in wet nursing.” It means that they are looking for someone who has milk or someone looking to lactate aka make milk.
Adult nursing can be both sexual and non sexual depending on the intent.
The difference between adult nursing and being a breast worshiper is; adult nursing is more than the act of sucking on a breast, it is bonding through the act of nursing. Where as breast worship is what the majority of breast lovers do I think. Sorry I can’t explain it any better, maybe somebody else can clarify. All the same welcome to the club, it’s a real letdown and is engorged with folks ready to help you latch on to the info you need. Sorry, bad joke!I think you’ll find this out as you meet suckling partners to help narrow in on your preference.
As I’ve understood it, ANR is the longterm going steady kind of thing, and ABF is the casual end of things.
For me I enjoy both aspects, the bonding of anr/abfn as well as worshipping breasts. I don’t know why the two need be considered mutually exclusive.
It really comes down to finding the right partner. As long as you both are happy and enjoy eachother, then it’s all good.
oppai_suki & Brian: yeah, your definitions for ANR/ABF were what I was thinking as well. However, in the “question” thread (37 forum pages ago) your definition was given as well as the one I quoted in the original post (it was outposted by the definition I used). In my research ANR/ABF is also used synonymously as well.
The problem is that some of these terms have different meanings to different people which results in miscommunications. For example if I state I like ABF thinking I want a long term relationship with lactation and the other person shoots me down because they are thinking all I want is a one off thing. Hence, the reason for this post.
Matty: The thing is I already know what I want and what I like as I have been asking for it and doing some of it most of my adult life. I felt that if I put down what my desires are it would become a leading question and everyone would just agree with me. What I am trying to do is tease out how the rubber meets the road so I can see where I fit in (or not).
My goal is to unify/clarify the language we use a little to lessen frustrations as we communicate to each other in PM and forums. I have already googled a lot of the terms I have been seeing here and other places. I think what I will do is create a new forum thread with terms, definitions, acronyms, etc. so that newbies like me can go there. If new terms pop up they can be added along with any debates over definitions. If the powers that be want to elevate this to an article or its own page great (at least the info is there).
Ok looks like I answered my own question on Dreams of Milk. Basically the way they explain it the difference between being a boob man and ANR is in the intent to bond. The way each couple uses ANR to bond is unique.
I was hoping for a few more details from experienced people. But oh well. Hope this helps someone.
Here is my take on it.
Bonding is not necessarily Something that takes place between two people while nursing whether it is wet or dry nursing. For some people male, female, gf, the act of nursing from another person is therapeutic, and there is no emotional connection between the two people. Anr and Abf are not defined by exclusivity, length of relationship, or whether there is a sexual component or not.
Anr is simply an adult nursing relationship, and exactly what that entails is determined by each individual. As we all know some relationships are casual, monogamous, poly, etc.
Abf is adult breastfeeding, the act of feeding another adult milk from the breast. The only thing that makes it different from Anr is breastfeeding; both involve the act of nursing, but one involves the expression of milk. Anything about the relationship beyond the act of breast feeding is defined by each individual.
As far as whether a person is a boob person or into Anr or Abf. I think anyone that enjoys breast whether it’s nursing, fondling, gazing, using nipple clamps, etc is a boob person. All of those things are breast centric, however, enjoying one doesn’t mean a person would enjoy all of the others. So someone that loves boobs as well as Anr and Abf is just that someone that likes both. Someone that is into having their breast fondled or that liked fondling breast doesn’t necessarily want to suckle or want someone suckling.
My apologies for the long ass reply, but I hope this is helpful to someone.
Being around this community online off and on for 20 years, I often was frustrated by how the terms ANR and ABF were used. I even made efforts to help the terms be better defined so there would be consistency for better communication. Hoping for less chance of desires being misunderstood.
Over time though I realized the terms will always mean different things to different people because we all interpret things in our own way.
Labels can be helpful, but also limiting.
Communicating openly with potential partners, keeping the understanding that how each person defines labels may be different goes a long way toward not making assumptions about how others feel or think.
If two people are on the same page with their desires, what label they use matters little.
It can be anything you want it to be. There’s no set rules. You can be a boob guy but also into ANR/ABF. Just state clearly what you are into in your profile and when you chat with people.
One thing that does irk me is that people say ANR=Relationship and ABF=Casual.
ABF is a verb. It’s the act of adult breastfeeding.
ANR is a noun. It’s the name of a relationship revolving around ABF. It does not have to involve lactation.Elizabeth/LadyOceana/London man: Thanks for your thoughtful replies. I was coming to the same conclusion that ANR/ABF means different things to different people. I will need to be a little wordy in my communications with others so we are all on the same page. Which is ok since I am a bit wordy anyway.
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