I did not suffer abuse as a child or felt abandoned. I come from a two parent household. For me this desire came with the birth of my first child over 25 years ago and persisted even before I knew this was called ANR. I also deployed to Iraq, suffered burnout there but no diagnosed PTSD. I have been evaluated twice for mental health and only diagnosed with mild depression which is not uncommon for those with high IQ like myself.
I have thought about this a lot and ANR for me is primarily love and acceptance as my love languages are quality time and physical touch. It also reduces stress and is comforting. And I have a bit of a sweet tooth as well.
I wonder though if the law of attraction is playing out. I have noticed as well that I seem to attract ladies with mental health problems from singles events, dating apps, and so forth. So I am working on myself, profiles, and so forth so my vibe/being attracts the person I am looking for.