Handyman needed in Los Angeles will pay with milk straight from the tap

I’ve got a honey-do list as long as my arm. I’ve got decals on the windows that need to be taken down and replaced with privacy film. I’ve got some shelves that need putting up, vinyl wall coverings that need to be hung, and a lot of purging to be done so those with organizing skills will be considered first. If you have been LifeScanned and have your BLS it could become a permanent position.
I have milk, and I’m willing to pay my handyman with long nursing sessions. Must be available during the day.