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I’ve often wondered and looked at lots of profiles and have come across lots of lovely ones where there is an age limit. Ie don’t want to meet under the age of 40, but not over the age of 50. Is there an age thing, is it OK for elders to suckle youngsters and visa versa. Stick to own age or not??. Is it seemed too creepy for an older guy to be with a young lady 20+. Big age gaps.
Thoughts please.Interesting question QD, thanks for opening this debate.
I believe that everybody has the right to define whatever partner criteria they wish, the objective often seems to depend on whether a person is looking for a suckle partner or for a whole-life partner.
Personally speaking, I have no interest in any judgemental societal stereotypes and age-gap assumptions mean nothing to me. Whatever consenting parties do together is completely up to them. I have met ladies across a range of ages who have been beautifully compatible and I have crossed paths with some close to my age who were best avoided. Compatibility to me is more about common outlook, undefined attraction, direction, vitality, poise, energy, respect, kindness and understanding.
I would like to think that any partners who want to meet, regardless of an “age-gap”, would feel no shame or guilt for doing so and there is certainly no need to regard it as creepy or to apologise to society.
Each to their own. Sucklers need to suckle.
Ed states it really well for one side so I’ll bring up other for discussion. for relationships age can certainly be a strong preference for some. why? because there can be “generational” differences in likes, interests, lifestyle, and other factors related to age or age gaps. I don’t do all the same things I do at 40s compared to when I was in my 20s. Some have also stated that for those that have kids or parents, it can seem odd or turnoff even to be dating someone the same age as their adult kids or parents.
Perhaps we should say to each their own. Old w/ younger, younger w/ older. Old/old, young/young. Whatever works for them.
Personally, closer to my age seems to work better than a large age difference. That said, I have met a lady that was 20+ younger. She is a really cool chica.
By not having a concrete age criteria I’ve made more than a few friends. One never knows where that “one” may be.I agree with Grogman.
It’s all about chemistry and how you click together. Plus for long term nursing relationship, distance and scheduling needs to be considered too.I think I mentioned it in chat, but having a daughter in her early 20’s, being early 40’s myself I think my cutoff is about 10 years. It’s not a hard line, but an aim. Having a partner who was closer in age to my daughter than myself would feel off. As far as older than myself, don’t feel like the same line exists. Stage of life matters more than the age really. As long as we’re roughly in the same place as far as our goals, then I guess it’s not a high factor.
I would absolutely LOVE to see some data on this. I recently had my first abf with an older woman, most do not give me the time of day tbh. She LOVED it! She told me it wasn’t so much about age: It was maturity…which very closely aligns with age lol. Now to throw another wrench into the question….there really aren’t a whole lot of 20 year olds into ANR…so that removed a whole decade.
Thank you for all the posts. If it feels right then it’s OK for a bigger age gap. Some may disagree.
I stand with Jacob. I have two boys in their 20’s. So meeting a man around that age would feel off. I also agree on ehat Grog said. Its more about maturity. So although I think in the long term itvwill work out best with someone around my age, i do not have strict boundaries.
QD: i think women in an anr with a much younger man will get even more comments! But then again: none of their business!!!One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is the possibility of unequal inherent power dynamics that can enter with some larger age gaps. It becomes less of an issue the older the youngest partner is, as people are more likely to be of similar experience and knowledge levels if both are over say 30.
Yes, age can “just be a number”, but when one partner is say 22 and the other is 50, there can be issues with fully informed consent, boundaries, and coercion (intentional or not). It tends to be more of a problem when there are other elements that also impact power dynamics within a relationship: financial imbalance, D/s, personality differences, social influence, etc. And it can be more or less of an issue depending on the type of relationship: hookups or FWB are going to have less of a problem with age gaps than long-term romantic partnerships.
Thank you Fiona, there are certainly lots more issues to consider on bigger age gaps, what anyone does in their own privacy regardless of the age gap must always be consensual for both.
Anything to consider would be the role play scenarios, the mummy feeding her baby for instance. Big age gap?.
I agree with Fiona. Who am I at 30 is not who I was at 20 and consent looks very different to me now. While I don’t have any sort of upper limit for partners, that comes from experience and also depends on circumstances. For instance, when I suckle I’d prefer an older woman that can nurture me. When I am being suckled, I like the idea of giving an older man that care instead. It just really really depends.
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