Space and standing your ground when it comes to people respecting the healthy boundaries you set are crucial not just in love, but for all types of relationships. Today I had to speak up because someone I had met just a few days ago was ignoring my boundaries and this was not just eating away into my personal time – and therefore stressing me and making me more tired, having to work later into the night – but is a red flag in itself because having stated my needs, several times, and how tight my schedule is with deadlines now, this was being ignored over and over again. I get over 200 emails a day sometimes and maybe 50-60 texts/social media messages on top. This means that I don’t often get to do what I want with my time, which means not being able to be in touch with friends as much as I’d like but also having near 0 down-time.
When I meet who want to be in my life in whatever capacity I do explain this, often multiple times, and for the most part, most understand and lovely friendships/relationships blossoms, but once in a while there is someone who just completely disregards what I have taken time to explain. Not only is this selfish, but it can make a person feel smothered and can kill any sparks in the early days of meeting someone that could have been a potential partner. Now, I am not talking about having 0 contact, and while my situation now is a little extreme due to all I have going on, if I could give one piece of advice for all of you, (especially us girls who seem to get obsessed about men texting us enough or not at all), I would say that when it comes to being in touch, less is ALWAYS MORE. This applies to all relationships and space will always be needed, however one size does not fit all here. Some people will need more space and others less, communication is key but also flexibility and balance. I will admit I have been been guilty of overdoing it in the past, but what I have come to realise is that if there is no compromise between two people, regardless of the relationship, and a lack of effort in trying to understand each other and what our needs are from the start, there won’t be “a relationship”.
In Esther Perel’s YouTube video on “Why Giving Your Partner SPACE is Important for a Relationship,” she emphasizes the need of creating room for individuality within romantic relationships. Perel highlights that maintaining a sense of personal autonomy is essential for both partners to feel fulfilled and connected. When partners respect each other’s need for space, they allow the relationship to breathe, preventing it from becoming suffocating or codependent. This balance fosters mutual respect and prevents resentment from building up. In this context, space is not about emotional distance but about nurturing personal growth, which ultimately enriches the relationship as a whole.
The concept of giving space can also be seen as setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are often misunderstood as walls that keep people apart, but in reality, they are essential guidelines that allow relationships to thrive. Setting boundaries allows individuals to express their needs, desires, and limits, fostering clarity and preventing misunderstandings. This dynamic is important not only in romantic relationships but also in friendships, where personal space and boundaries allow for deeper and more meaningful connections. Friends, just like partners, need room to grow independently while knowing they have a reliable support system in each other.
Beyond personal relationships, the idea of space and boundaries extends to professional and business relationships as well. In the workplace, respecting boundaries fosters a healthier, more productive environment. Clear boundaries around roles, expectations, and personal time allow team members to work more efficiently, without overstepping or burning out. Similarly, giving colleagues the mental and emotional space to operate independently can lead to more creative and effective collaboration. Trust in the workplace, much like in personal relationships, is often built on this respect for boundaries and space.
In essence, the need for space is universal across all types of relationships. Whether in love, friendship, or business, creating a balance between connection and individuality is vital. Esther Perel’s message reinforces that giving someone space is an act of respect and love, as it honors their autonomy and fosters healthier, more resilient connections. When we embrace the idea that space and boundaries are not barriers, but rather foundations for deeper relationships, we create an environment where mutual growth and respect can truly flourish.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and to those who do reach out, bear in mind my swamp has become a giant flood, so forgive me if for the next few months I am busier than usual.
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Elayne (Sophia Unveiled)
Thank you for writing that, I think that people having their own spaces besides the common ones is very important. One can always be polite and considered about it to keep the connection going.
Friend, thank you so much for reading and taking the time. You know I am glad we have met here, and your comment here is valuable, communication and space and understanding how these work is what makes any relationship work, including friendships and of course respect. Wise words as always from you, sending you a hug and warm wishes your way x
It’s great that this topic has arisen. Giving space is definitely important and it can, in many cases, make the relationship so much deeper if you take a step back from the close vicinity, as it were. You see things more clearly from a distance.