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As men we never talk about what happens when you don’t get what you want especially from sites like this, bare in mind that almost ever other ladies DMs is already flooding like crazy and somehow she’s wishes to come across your message and respond? Your just lucky that she does give you a response.
HOWEVER!
A response doesn’t guarantee you anything more than just a response in my opinion. Your lucky if things go further.
We just need to read the environment and don’t step over a tone she’s clearly setting.
You’ll be fine if you don’t get that girl or whatever you’ll be alright I promise you.
Even me🤣🤷🏾♂️ I’m with you gentlemen I’m getting ignored and dismissed too don’t worry, I’m laughing about because what more can I do? Nothing 😂🤷🏾♂️ she may not tell she’s interested she may do, communication is a skill not something you inherit.
Even if it’s a meet, I guarantee you
Your not the only guy who’s trying to heck me too.Heck I’m probably in her messages too 🤷🏾♂️🤣 but none the less may the best man win, don’t expect to everyone’s type
However I do wish you a merry Christmas and a happy blessed and rich in life new year for you all.
God speed.
Hi Jay, I know we’ve spoken before and I’ve been on here a year now, met 5 guys, spoken to hundreds, so I hope you don’t mind a woman’s point of view, even though you’ve aimed this at men mostly.
I think it’s just rude when women ignore mens messages, there’s no excuse for ignorance. Unless someone just sends an unsolicited dick pic, or they’re obnoxious, I always take the time to reply. Yes, women get a lot of messages, but I think if someone takes the time to send a message, the least I can do is reply, even if it’s just to say I’m sorry but I don’t think we’re going to be compatible or I’m not looking to get to know anyone from other countries.
That’s definitely true that you shouldn’t overstep the tone of the conversation, unfortunately it’s a very common problem that some men are pushy and disrespectful, which is a massive red flag.
It’s not always a case of the best man winning though, connection is so important with this. So there’s really no point trying to force something if one person isn’t feeling it. There’s so much to consider, location, looking for the same experience, lifestyle, other preferences and then even if you meet, the chemistry has to be right.
Rach I absolutely agree with you
Maybe the way I worded it came across wrong but I don’t mean no harm
There too many factors to name about why these things happen plus we don’t have a clue what goes with other peoples personal live , it wouldn’t to get your facts if your liking someone and suddenly they ghost on you or they just stop talking to you it’s one big miscommunication.
As sad as it is, it’s out of our control
the original message if I had to wrap it would be that just do your best I guess? And what will be will be?
We live in a world a woman (or anyone really) doesn’t owe you an excuse, a reason, or a conversation to what, where, who and why they stop talking to you it’s been normal to ghost (for whatever reason possible) and if we challenge it we’re harassing them and if we don’t reach to out to try we don’t care so how do we win?
Im fine with I don’t get, but I can’t complain if I don’t try 🤷🏾♂️
Yeah, I know what you’re saying. It’s hard not to take it as a rejection or take it personally. I think you have a healthy attitude to it. I think sometimes one person can see it’s not going to work and the other person feels rejected but it’s not that they they don’t like you, just looking for something different or the distance is an issue for one person but not the other.
Thanks for at least trying to speak to other men here. Hopefully they start to listen. Women here try and help them, but it always just usually turns into men whining about how women “bash” them or they cry about “not all men!” while proving the point of every woman here who calls out their bull.
For some reason, alot of the men here feel an incredible sense of entitlement towards women here. Entitled to attention, niceness, or conversation/replies- NONE of which men or anybody else is owed. Understanding they’re not entitled (and that women are more than sexual or emotional support objects) would help SO many here, but they don’t want to turn their effort into action and work on that stuff.
There’s always a reason as to why men get ignored or blocked, all which are valid.I disagree Rachy. For years i had on my profile who i wanted to be contacted by and what i was looking for. Men totally ignored my wishes and messaged me anyway. I used to reply nicely but when i got abusive messages back because kindly let them know i had no interest in chatting to someone the other side of the world i stopped replying full stop. My life and the time i have left in this world is far too precious to me, my child and my family to be wasting it on back and forth small chat with someone ill never meet. I also think its very rude anyone messaging someone who has clearly stated they dont want to be. If they cant respect that one wish what else wont they respect.
What a lot of people don’t seem to understand (and is probably a big reason many women on here get frustrated by the messages they receive) is that this site isn’t a used car lot where you can browse the available models and drive off in (or latch onto) whichever one suits you. This is an ANR site, and the key letter in that acronym is the R, which stands for RELATIONSHIP. Just because someone lives nearby, or fits what YOU are looking for, doesn’t mean you fit what THEY are looking for. Compatibility is a two-way street, and there are about a million other factors that come into play when it comes to compatibility. It’s not just a matter of finding someone who wants an ANR. It’s about taking time to get to know the PERSON, not just her boobs.
Just my two cents…
Fair enough Juicy, I find that exasperating as well and the men, and 1 woman, who who have ignored my preferences (on age, location and sexuality, in the case of the woman) get a shorter and less friendly response than the ones who approach me in a friendly, polite and respectful way. The same goes for random friend requests out of the blue from people I’ve never interacted with previously and unsolicited dick pics.
But that’s just the kind of person I am, I know it takes a lot of courage for decent, genuine guys to put themselves out there, knowing they’ll probably get told it’s a no, if indeed they get any response. I’m a toxic empath, I over empathise, that’s my problem. I’m not going to criticise you for doing what’s best for you but I can’t do that. We’re all different.
Online dating for men is difficult as it is, it’s even more difficult searching for ANR/ABF. It’s a numbers game both ways. Men can search for years without finding someone, and most of the time men’s messages are ignored.
If your messages aren’t ignored then your breadcrumbed, or you’re kept on the back burner while they’re looking for a “better option”. It’s incredibly frustrating when you think someone is expressing interest only for them to disappear – again this applies to both vanilla online dating and ANR/ABF.
This isn’t excusing why some men act entitled, but I hope this sheds a light on *why* some men begin to act like that. It’s very easy to become jaded and apathetic as a man seeking ANR/ABF.
Women do have it hard having to filter out the wheat from the chaff, safety concerns etc. But given the ratio you are infinitely more likely to meet someone as a woman on here.
A lot of this is simply about boundaries. If a woman states she doesn’t want x y or z, then it’s wrong for x y or z person to message them. It’s a boundary violation. If this were better understood by men who behaved like adults, the suspicion and apprehension of women to respond may be lower.
I take no offense from any woman who doesn’t respond to me because she has her reasons. I try to at least respond to anybody who messages me, but I get significantly less messages than women lol
Regardless, don’t worry much about who does or doesn’t respond. Be your best self and the right person will take notice. Lead with curiosity, acceptance, playfulness, and empathy. You’ll do just fine.
LondonMan, we don’t all breadcrumb or keep someone on the back burner until “someone better comes along”. On the first day I joined the site, I reached out and messaged someone who became my ANR partner. I met him 2 days after I first messaged him and we had 5 amazing months together.
I’ve initiated conversation with quite a few men here and to be honest, a lot of them just like the idea of it and run a mile when given the chance to actually meet up.
As much as it’s unfair that some women say that all men are the same, it also works the other way around.
TLANR nailed it.
Juicyboobies I have to agree with you I feel the same as you do, so well spoken I think the problem starts with not reading profiles and respecting someone wishes, many profiles have what there seeking and not seeking yet men will message u anyway, I get many profiles and pics make seek someone interest but if you live in another country or state why bother, it becomes annoying at some point for those who are really trying to meet the ideal partner
Just my thoughts 😘
@rachyj
Of course, I wasn’t referring to anyone in here in particular 🙂
I meant it’s very common for men to experience this and fall into the trap of feeling jaded, entitled, and blaming women for their lack of success (much akin to incels 🙄).
It’s common in online dating but amplified on ANR/ABF sites. The difference is on regular dating sites you can just move on, there’s plenty of fish in the sea whereas on here it’s back to waiting another 2-4 months for someone nearby to join with a high chance of them ignoring your initial message (which is totally fine, no one’s entitled to a response).
This leads to some men taking the scattergun approach and messaging women without reading their profile or taking into consideration who/what they are seekiking.
I want to reiterate I’m not excusing men or blaming women for this behaviour. I’m giving some insight on why some men behave like this.
Here’s what you need.
1. Honesty. No matter who you are, no matter where you’re from, you can always (always) be Honest with yourself. No excuses, there. That’s the foundation.
2. Trust. You can’t Trust someone who’s not Honest. If you’re not Honest with yourself, you don’t Trust yourself (and that’s why).
3. Love. You can’t Love someone you don’t Trust, who isn’t Honest. You can’t Love yourself, if you don’t Trust yourself, because you’re not Honest with yourself.
4. Forgiveness. You can’t forgive someone you don’t Love. See Above.
5. Freedom. Self Care. Independence. A distinct lack of “thirst.” Get with the program, fellas.
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