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Just hoping that members may be able to help and give some practical advice for a female friend in the USA (NOT me).
She has met a guy and been chatting. They have spoken on the phone and have now arranged to meet in person. She is unsure however about the best course of action ‘if’ they both get on really well and possibly think about getting more personal following that social meeting.
What are your views please regarding the various scenarios? Eg 1) no matter how well it goes, leave it at a social meet only? 2) consider going back to his place? 3) consider going back to her place 4) check in to a hotel 5) other ideas or options?
Any ideas or practical advice would be amazing, or views based on similar experiences. Many thanks 🙂Same thing I ask myself! So far it was all at number 1.
I would like to meet new person and not worry about 1 and be able to go to the number 4 option at the end of the day of hanging out or maybe for the next meeting then, if things seem going well.I wonder what others have to say on this!
I am really old, but if she is looking for a relationship, then she should treat it just like she would any date (if it is local). You didn’t mention if they are into ANR or something else. But if they both have a specific interest like ANR or ABF, it will happen if the relationship advances. Just have her show a little cleavage, how a guy responds to that is always telling.
Safety first and clear expectations.
If there is traveling involved, that is more complex.I was thinking (in my earlier comment) in a case of traveling involved, but I totally agree on a local dating!
If it is someone local, then for me it would be like a normal dating situation. Dating, talking, going out, walking, exploring places together, getting to know each other, and at some point getting intimate, just like a normal relationship/dating situation would be. I want long term relationship, so that is how I think I would like it. A normal relationship with commitment to ANR.
I have met women and generally preferred a social meet for their safety and for them to determine if we were compatible in person (cuz it’s different than online)
Some want to get right to business, but those are contingent on a high level of trust that I don’t consider the norm especially with how often women find themselves in a terrible/”stuck” position with a man who turns out to be terrible irl.
So to answer your questions
1) Yes.
2) Unless it was strictly a meet for that purpose (and not for establishing a good relationship), no.
3) I have met a few women who are against giving out their place because people can stalk them, so it’s up to her but the guy should be ok with not being allowed there
4) See 2
5) I’ve heard people who have done some minor “exploration” of their kink in semi-public areas. I wouldn’t suggest it nor would it be my go-to, but hey if they really want it and safety precautions are established, I guess? I’m talking adult spaces, btw. Then again, idk how common adult clubs are outside NY.
Jen,
Thank you for the forum topic. I think there are many determining factors. If the couple has shared a lot before the meet and they are both agreed upon what they are seeking, then I would say meet at a casual coffee house or diner and decide whether you want to take the next step. That could be that night or on the next meeting. If the couple has not shared a lot on the phone or through texts, then the meeting should be just one more way to share and learn about each other. Or if the couple has shared a lot and are not in agreement as to what they are seeking, then the meet should be a time of sharing and negotiating terms of the relationship. There are no guarantees for outcomes one way or the other. The most important factor is that both people feel comfortable.Rule #1: The ONLY safe first meeting is in public, and without any expectation for more. Make this clear up-front, i.e., you are meeting simply to see each other in person, and not for nursing, etc. If you like each other, there will be plenty of time for more … next time. And if he likes you enough, he will be patient enough to wait for next time too.
Rule #2: Meet at a casual place such as a coffee house or for a light snack. A brief and casual meeting is best in case you get bad vibes, as it makes saying goodbye easier. It can be tempting to meet for a fancy dinner, or a fancy date somewhere, but that comes with a burden of expectation and potential pressure. Don’t meet for drinks, as alcohol is not compatible with good judgement, and you may cave to pressure more easily.
Remember, meeting in private is for a second meeting! Give yourself some time to collect your thoughts and decide what is on the table for next time, and if there even will be a next time. Again, if both of you want a relationship, as opposed to a quick drive-by suckle, he should be willing to give you that space you need to feel safe and to decide for yourself what the terms are for a next meeting.
So, you followed my advice in the previous message and had a nice, safe first meeting. You thought things over and would like to meet again. You think you may even like to meet in private this time, and hopefully for more than just a nice game of checkers. Oh, it’s getting interesting now!
The next question is where to meet. Everything here depends on the level of trust and confidence that you feel. You need a little time to mull this over (hence my advice to WAIT before a second meeting).
Rule #3: Do NOT go straight into a private meeting for your second date. At this point, he should invite you on a nice, full-blown date, e.g. a romantic dinner, etc. You need this traditional dating experience to feel out how things are going. Is he impatient and pushy, anxious to get to the nursing? Or is he treating you in the safe, respectful and patient fashion of a man that wants a genuine relationship with you?
Rule #3b: Do not host at your own place for a first private meeting. Giving a man your address opens the door to potential trouble down the road if things go bad.
Rule #3c: Similarly, be careful about meeting at his place for a first private meeting. You have been on other dates, probably including going to a man’s home, so you know that the main risk with this is that you become pressured. So just don’t go there unless the date is proceeding so well that you have solid confidence in him. Take your own car!
A good gentleman might offer to host at a nice, upscale hotel for a first time. This is especially likely if he has traveled to meet you. The fact that a hotel is semi-public should help. The main risk with this is that you may feel pressured to sleep over with him. So again, take stock of your feelings and desires, remain centered, and don’t go further than you are comfortable with.
Ok, you went on the coffee date, and you are in the middle of a lovely, romantic second date, and now you are alone with him! Oh, the anticipation is rising now!
There you are, nervously chatting about the weather and the latest celebrity gossip. All the while, he’s trying super hard not to stare at your top, while your nipples are aching to be touched. How do you even do this, you think!?
First, relax! Here’s the thing about ABF: Although it may feel insanely nerve-wracking, consider how it compares to a normal date. On a vanilla date, the nerve-wracking decision is often “will I have sex with him?” along with all the concerns that entails about STD’s, and so on. That’s a lot!
By comparison, ABF can actually feel easier and less risky. What do you two want? Not to have intercourse (well, that’s possible too …), but for a nice hour or two of worshipful breast play and nursing. That’s not so scary!
After the banter, and amid all the nervousness, at some point there’s little left to do but to take a deep breath, offer a nod or murmur of assent, and for one person to reach out a hand, the other to undo a button, and it all begins. A few minutes later, the tension is gone, and the lovely closeness is met. Ahhh!
Thank you all. Im grateful for your views, experiences and advice. 😊
Oh Jen, would the advice be any different in the UK?
Definitely #1 unless been chatting for months and live 100 miles apart but then no point even meeting and it won’t last and it’s just exciting chat that should stay just that in my experience. Been on here a while and haven’t managed to meet anyone as most are not even in the UK
Hi Tony. I dont think so. I guess their situation is similar to members in the UK and dependent on a lot of factors 😊
Hi, for what its worth my experience is. Meet in a public place, pub or coffee house to have a drink, meet and chat but beforehand make it clear that the date will not proceed any further than that unless the lady is happy to do so.
Any genuine guy will be more than happy to wait until a second date before any suckling takes place.
If the lady doesn’t want to take the guy back to your place or the guy can’t hose then get a ‘Day Room’ at a hotel.
Any guy worth his salt will go along with whet the lady wants, and when she wants it.
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