Being stood up, input needed.

Personal Ads & Forum General Discussion Being stood up, input needed.

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    Has it happened to you?
    Had plans to meet a lady (not from here) for ANR session. Made reservations, card info given to hold the room. Hotel policy states “non-refundable within 24 hours of check in”. Needless to say, after I had tried to confirm with her (even attempted phone call), NO final confirmation from her. Full amount from the room charged, with zero use of the room.

    Any experiences similar?


    Well that sucks but it’s a heavy thing to go all in on the first meet. I’d say it’s better to meet up for a coffee or drink first to get to know one another and then see where things go.


    I totally agree with Oxwood. Any dating site or ABF site will give you the same advice for meeting a stranger – start out somewhere public, like a coffee bar, for a casual drink face-to-face, and see where things go from there. Meeting someone in person allows you to judge whether they’re really who or what they say. No matter how much you chat online or on the phone, body language is always the best way to see if there’s the right chemistry between the two of you, or if your friend isn’t being honest in any way.

    I’ve only met a possible partner for ABF once, and we did meet in a coffee bar for a good open chat, after sharing many details together through online messages. Sadly she decided I wasn’t quite the right person for what she wanted, and we parted on friendly terms. So I know this technique does work, and I’d advise you to try it with the next person who arranges to meet you in person.

    NJ Cole

    Actually, it happens to me all the time. It hurts. I think that guys come on here pretending, and when it gets real, they ghost.


    NJ Cole,
    That’s not how I work. And yes, it hurts. Unfortunately, sometimes trust levels need to be adjusted on my part.


    Sorry to hear that. It has happened to me twice. I think it is wise to meet up for coffee lunch or dinner first or talk to someone a long time to see if you can really trust them. The longer you get to know that person and get a better understanding of what they want. And some women are afraid to meet a stranger in a hotel but even at that she should have been up front with you. Maybe talk to admin and have her taken off the site. Yes it is her right not to show up but it cost you money and she is playing games. Just a thought.


    Jessica, fortunately, it was not anyone here. Thanx for the input. Live and learn.


    Key word is good communication and feeling comfortable with each other.
    If things change, let other party know ASAP so they don’t feel stood up.


    Nick, TOTALLY agree.

    Michael Admin

    Conmech, this is a good topic, ok if I add it to the “Featured” section on the front page?


    Michael Admin, be my guest.


    Finding genuine ANR connections is really tough. A lot of people like and desire it. But when it becomes real there is a stigma attached to it that they get scared and back out. It is frustrating. Probably best to make a really good online connection and not to dive straight in.
    Although I think everyone’s enthusiasm can sometimes take control lol.
    Good luck everyone.


    I try to have a few “coffee” dates to make sure we have a connection. I don’t do a lot of on line chat because it bores me and it is a time waster. It is ether going to happen or not.


    My answer to the first question is there anyone that it hasn’t happened to? Just like regular dating, some people are flakes.
    I prefer to meet first the way Marie suggests. A neutral site to see if there is compatibility in person.

    Mixed feelings.

    Ghosting seems to be a sad, but new way to hurt people.
    My recent experience: I spent months talking, getting to know “S”. We were connecting on so many levels. We talked for hours everyday. We said good morning, and goodnight to each other, not missing a day. We talked about meeting, and eventually one of us moving closer to the other.
    One morning I wake up to nothing. I text him, he replied, said it was a bad morning. Then nothing the rest of the day. A goodnight was texted from him but nothing else. Then nothing more from him. Every now and then he looks at my snaps, or responds to a comment..
    I actually thought about walking away from this lifestyle because of the hurt and betrayal that I have gone through.

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